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Do you think marriage makes a difference? Watch

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    I think I'm one of the few TSRians who is actually married and so have direct experience of the matter rather than drawing conclusions from my parents' relationship.

    For me, being married definitely feels different. We lived together for just over 2 years before getting married, and while our relationship was always good, it definitely feels stronger after the wedding. Standing in front of all your friends and family, and declaring your intention to stick with one another forever, through whatever life throws at you, then signing legal documents binding you to that, is a big deal. It feels like a much bigger commitment than just living together comfortably - nothing was wrong with our relationship beforehand, but there was always the knowledge that one of us could just get up and go with no repercussions. Obviously this can happen in marriage (though not without the repercussions of divorce) but you are much more protected. We feel like a real team now.

    However, I think a lot of my feelings (and my husband's) on this are because both of us believe in marriage as an institution. We had a civil wedding because he is not religious and was not happy to make vows in front of a God he doesn't believe in, so that argument doesn't apply. We didn't spend £20000 on the day, though it was a significant amount of money, but it was an amazing day and we would do it all again.

    If you don't believe marriage is important though, I can imagine that maybe you wouldn't feel very different after your wedding.
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    I can't make a proper comment/opinion on the matter as I don't feel I'm mature enough yet. I don't even understand what the hell it actually is and what it's all about.. this fred has given me some insight though. Especially the post above mine and some of Jimbo's.

    Still figuring out my views and beliefs about all of it though - not so much the pros and cons. But rather, what it actually is, why people do it - and whether or not they'd invent it if it didn't exist :/
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    Yes, you make a commitment by marrying. A commitment resulting in the loss of half of your possesions. Or in other words you pay a deposit of half of your earnings.
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    (Original post by Helenia)
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    What do you mean by believe in the institution of marriage? I am getting married shortly (in about 18 months) so I'm not against marriage by any means. But I'm not one of those girls whose whole life happiness depends upon being married. Like I wouldn't freak out if I never got married unlike some people I've seen who have a schedule and go mental if they're not on track etc.

    It's my fiancé who is really bothered about getting married and I'm just sort of going along with it, but I still want it to be as cheap as possible and I still believe in not making TOO big a deal of it because afterwards you have to go back to real life and I've heard of quite a few people who struggle with that when they've had 2 years of hyping up one day.

    I'm sure it will be a great memory for me, and I am very much looking forward to it and the life we will have afterwards, I'm just not sure that it would have a huge impact on my feelings towards him. I think I'd love him just as much as if we didn't get married.


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    (Original post by Beckyweck)
    What do you mean by believe in the institution of marriage? I am getting married shortly (in about 18 months) so I'm not against marriage by any means. But I'm not one of those girls whose whole life happiness depends upon being married. Like I wouldn't freak out if I never got married unlike some people I've seen who have a schedule and go mental if they're not on track etc.

    It's my fiancé who is really bothered about getting married and I'm just sort of going along with it, but I still want it to be as cheap as possible and I still believe in not making TOO big a deal of it because afterwards you have to go back to real life and I've heard of quite a few people who struggle with that when they've had 2 years of hyping up one day.

    I'm sure it will be a great memory for me, and I am very much looking forward to it and the life we will have afterwards, I'm just not sure that it would have a huge impact on my feelings towards him. I think I'd love him just as much as if we didn't get married.


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    What I mean is that I believe that being married is a different relationship state than simply cohabiting. I have always wanted to get married - not to have a perfect fairytale wedding, but to be married. I wanted to commit myself publicly and legally to one person forever, not just live comfortably with someone without ever making things official. So it's not surprising that I find marriage feels different from living together; someone who grew up thinking that married couples and cohabiting ones were equivalent might not find that their feelings change so much after marriage. However, I know that for some people, even though they didn't place much value on the marriage ceremony beforehand, having gone through with it felt that it was a surprisingly bigger deal than they thought.
 
 
 
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