Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Basically, I lost my virginity 5 months ago, and while there were the expected issues associated with losing your virginity, we did properly have sex.

    However, since then, I have tried to have sex with 4 other guys, and not one of them has been able to get it in. No matter how much foreplay they try, and no matter how wet I get, it just wont go in.

    I don't understand what's wrong, or what I can be doing to make it right. It's really getting me down because I keep meeting these great guys but then the sexual experience is really bad (or more correctly, non-existant) and it's really awkward afterwards and they don't want to see me again.

    Is there any advice out there that can be offered? I would really appreciate it because this problem is starting to worry me
    • Community Assistant
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    Lube and you being on top?

    What happens when you try being penetrated with something else, like fingers, for example?
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Do you have a vibrator or dildo? Practice at home. If you can get that in without problem, then you can theoretically get an actual penis in (if you can't then, it would mean that you were too tensed up).
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by unprinted)
    Lube and you being on top?

    What happens when you try being penetrated with something else, like fingers, for example?
    I've tried being on top, thinking that gravity would be on my side, but it still doesn't work.
    I have thought about lube but I don't really know people's stand on it - is it commonly used? If I tell a guy we have to use it will they know that something is up?

    A couple of fingers is fine, but even if that is done right beforehand, I'm still not open enough.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by lightburns)
    Do you have a vibrator or dildo? Practice at home. If you can get that in without problem, then you can theoretically get an actual penis in (if you can't then, it would mean that you were too tensed up).
    Yeah I have thought of this a few times, just need to muster up the courage to actually go buy one...
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    I also have this problem, but to a much lesser degree. My friend however finds sex very difficult, near impossible due to the pain really, similar to what you stated. She suffers from this I believe:

    http://www.pelvicpainhelp.com/sympto...r-dysfunction/

    Look into it, see the doc. It may be what you suffer from too. Especially as you said you're able to get wet etc, so it may not be a problem with lubrication.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I have thought of this a few times, just need to muster up the courage to actually go buy one...
    Definitely do. You could always buy one online otherwise - the packaging is always discreet.

    Don't despair if it takes multiple attempts. It might not be a pleasant experience either, like trying to drive a car down a rabbit hole. But it will ease up eventually, and it's much less awkward to do that stage alone rather than with someone else.
    • Community Assistant
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    Lube is very commonly used, and anyone who moans about using it does not deserve to be in the same bed as you.

    One advantage to toys is that it is much easier to pick the size. As 'proper' ones do not come cheap, you might want to have a look through the kitchen / grocery shelves. Put a condom on anything going inside you...
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    You might just need to simply relax.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    I used to have similar problems. Something that works is just holding the labial lips apart with your fingers. Means the guy can see exactly where he's going, as it were.

    (Original post by unprinted)
    Lube is very commonly used, and anyone who moans about using it does not deserve to be in the same bed as you.

    One advantage to toys is that it is much easier to pick the size. As 'proper' ones do not come cheap, you might want to have a look through the kitchen / grocery shelves. Put a condom on anything going inside you...
    +1 on the lube bit.

    You can buy sex toys from Ann Summers cheaply if you want to practice on your own. Just get something small (and quiet if you live with your parents). And because it's a high street shop, you don't have to have any suspicious parcels coming through your door, and can actually look at the products and/or ask for advice in person before buying. I'd recommend buying in person for your first toy.

    If you're too scared to go into a shop by yourself, by all means buy from Lovehoney and make up something about the suspicious parcel. :P (Or have it delivered to a friend's.)
    Lovehoney do beginner vibes for like a fiver so if you're really broke they'll work.

    (I think I may have revealed too much about my knowledge of sex toy vendors.)

    I probably wouldn't use a random vegetable, if only because you'll have a better time with a £15 vibe. Also, bit of a waste of food. If you do use a random vegetable DEFINITELY use a condom, if there's any mud or whatever still clinging to it it could infect you.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Go doctors?


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    A VEGETABLE?

    "MUM, Can I have that cucumber please?!"
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    This thing inbetween my legs that's normally floppy started feeling harder, as if it was taking shape so i stroked it, and then all this white goo started pouring out.

    What was that?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SteveMz)
    This thing inbetween my legs that's normally floppy started feeling harder, as if it was taking shape so i stroked it, and then all this white goo started pouring out.

    What was that?
    U make a joke now, and i dont think ur a bad dude, but not being able to take a penis in is like ( for her ) having a pain in the back....

    Well if i were ur man ( topicstarter ) i wouldnt be irritated at all, i would play with my fingers on ur clitoris and lick u a bit ans also from behind and kis a bit here and there and just have a good time,.,,,, Penetration is very overrated....
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically, I lost my virginity 5 months ago, and while there were the expected issues associated with losing your virginity, we did properly have sex.

    However, since then, I have tried to have sex with 4 other guys, and not one of them has been able to get it in. No matter how much foreplay they try, and no matter how wet I get, it just wont go in.

    I don't understand what's wrong, or what I can be doing to make it right. It's really getting me down because I keep meeting these great guys but then the sexual experience is really bad (or more correctly, non-existant) and it's really awkward afterwards and they don't want to see me again.

    Is there any advice out there that can be offered? I would really appreciate it because this problem is starting to worry me
    If all he wants you for is sex, he is not worth it.

    You have to stop trying to make it work, and it will... the right guy will try anything and everything (within reason) that you ask, and eventually it will stop being a problem... it's the guys you are with, not the vagina you have!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically, I lost my virginity 5 months ago, and while there were the expected issues associated with losing your virginity, we did properly have sex.

    However, since then, I have tried to have sex with 4 other guys, and not one of them has been able to get it in. No matter how much foreplay they try, and no matter how wet I get, it just wont go in.

    I don't understand what's wrong, or what I can be doing to make it right. It's really getting me down because I keep meeting these great guys but then the sexual experience is really bad (or more correctly, non-existant) and it's really awkward afterwards and they don't want to see me again.

    Is there any advice out there that can be offered? I would really appreciate it because this problem is starting to worry me
    You lost your virginity 5 months ago, and you've attempted to have sex with 4 other guys... word of warning having a lot of sexual partners sometimes can decrease your chances of having a relationship.
    Anyways don't rush into in, make sure all the juices are flowing, and use lube.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by nivek11)
    You lost your virginity 5 months ago, and you've attempted to have sex with 4 other guys... word of warning having a lot of sexual partners sometimes can decrease your chances of having a relationship.
    That's only true if the person you want to be in a relationship with is the type to judge you on your sexual history. I think that so long as you've taken care of your sexual health and haven't mistreated anyone, no one has the right to judge you - your body, your life.

    Promiscuity is occasionally a symptom of problems with commitment etc, but it's a symptom - not a cause. The promiscuous people I know are normally pretty together and just doing it because it's fun; no commitment issues or anything, just enjoying themselves. I know one person who is loopy and it shows in her sex life, but that's just one person.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by wildbluesun)
    That's only true if the person you want to be in a relationship with is the type to judge you on your sexual history. I think that so long as you've taken care of your sexual health and haven't mistreated anyone, no one has the right to judge you - your body, your life.

    Promiscuity is occasionally a symptom of problems with commitment etc, but it's a symptom - not a cause. The promiscuous people I know are normally pretty together and just doing it because it's fun; no commitment issues or anything, just enjoying themselves. I know one person who is loopy and it shows in her sex life, but that's just one person.
    Hence the word sometimes, but i do understand your point of view.
    Nowadays people are more use to the fact of casual sex,however many people don't like the idea.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by wildbluesun)
    That's only true if the person you want to be in a relationship with is the type to judge you on your sexual history. I think that so long as you've taken care of your sexual health and haven't mistreated anyone, no one has the right to judge you - your body, your life.

    Promiscuity is occasionally a symptom of problems with commitment etc, but it's a symptom - not a cause. The promiscuous people I know are normally pretty together and just doing it because it's fun; no commitment issues or anything, just enjoying themselves. I know one person who is loopy and it shows in her sex life, but that's just one person.
    Most people judge promiscuity. Men because of risk of cheating which could mean cuckoldry and women because of making a child without her, although it's okay her sleeping around I'm not going to judge her actions, but I wouldn't think most guys look at a promiscuous girl as anything other than a ons, specifically because I like most want to raise my own child and not some other guys. Yes it's her sex life if she wants to do that she should go for it, but most men and women don't want a cheater, and promiscuity usually means a cheater.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I have thought of this a few times, just need to muster up the courage to actually go buy one...
    You don't need courage, the anonymity of internet shopping is brilliant Once you get one you'll wonder how you lived without it!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 16, 2013
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.