Future of this relationship

Hi

My boyfriend and I have been together since just before I left for univerisity. He would visit on occasion but we would skype daily. He worked continuously which is one of the main reasons we saw eachother so little, other than when I came back or he came to visit (it was a 3 hour journey each way). Despite this our relationship is very strong.

Having graduated last year and been lucky enough to get a job straight away, I've been thinking about our future. We both have quite a bit of savings and my parents have openly offered to help us fund a deposit for a house. We have talked about this, and he has even looked at some properties within our budget but he keeps listing all the things he wants to do before he buys a house. Which is a bit confusing seeing as he has been looking at properties.

I've been talking about our future and he wants to get a house, get married, have kids and I realise that we are still young but he just keeps putting stuff off and acting like a child about things. I feel like he is creating my ideal life in his imagination to keep me with him.

I love him but I'm just doubting our future. Any advice?

Reply 1

username47781

20

Original post by Anonymous

Hi

My boyfriend and I have been together since just before I left for univerisity. He would visit on occasion but we would skype daily. He worked continuously which is one of the main reasons we saw eachother so little, other than when I came back or he came to visit (it was a 3 hour journey each way). Despite this our relationship is very strong.

Having graduated last year and been lucky enough to get a job straight away, I've been thinking about our future. We both have quite a bit of savings and my parents have openly offered to help us fund a deposit for a house. We have talked about this, and he has even looked at some properties within our budget but he keeps listing all the things he wants to do before he buys a house. Which is a bit confusing seeing as he has been looking at properties.

I've been talking about our future and he wants to get a house, get married, have kids and I realise that we are still young but he just keeps putting stuff off and acting like a child about things. I feel like he is creating my ideal life in his imagination to keep me with him.

I love him but I'm just doubting our future. Any advice?

Maybe he is a bit scared to go to the next step i.e moving in etc how old are you both out of curiosity. I mean if you are both fairly young maybe he wants to do stuff like travelling first, I guess him looking at properties is just keeping options open for in the distant future. I mean he says he has a list of stuff to do, I mean that's fair enough, we all have stuff we wanna do before we settle down, as I mentioned things like travelling to certain places. I am 31 now and I am not ready to settle down properly yet, I still got a few things left to do. It doesn't mean he isn't serious about you though.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Rock Fan

Maybe he is a bit scared to go to the next step i.e moving in etc how old are you both out of curiosity.

22. Pretty young, together for 4 years...

I feel like he can't give me a straight answer and I don't want to be living at home any longer!

Reply 3

username47781

20

Original post by Anonymous

22. Pretty young, together for 4 years...

I feel like he can't give me a straight answer and I don't want to be living at home any longer!

Maybe he isn't sure what he wants?

Reply 4

Climbontoyourseahorse

9

Original post by Anonymous

22. Pretty young, together for 4 years...

I feel like he can't give me a straight answer and I don't want to be living at home any longer!

You can rent somewhere then. Together or separately. Relationship stability aside, I know you have a job and it might be stable, but most jobs are not stable and you might find yourself moving around a lot over the next few years. Not being tied down by a mortgage will keep so many doors open. Some people see renting as a waste of money but it is a small price to pay when the future for the vast majority at the moment is very uncertain. And cliche as it sounds, you and him will change a lot over the next few years, so it's probably best not to make any rash decisions. A mortgage is a massive commitment.

Reply 5

boba

I would suggest renting for a while.
As the person above said it keeps options open for moving for jobs.
he will probably be more willing.
you should probably live together for a while before actually buying a property together to make sure you can with out wanting to kill each other.

Reply 6

IlexBlue

2

22 years old is a bit young to put things like kids, marriage and houses on him and then act annoyed when he's not super eager to get there. He probably wants to do those things eventually, but give him some time at least.

Reply 7

fredscarecrow

18

I think he likes the idea and does want it. But that's serious, heavy head stuff. My partner constantly talks about marriage, house etc and then will randomly have a 'we need to travel and enjoy life' phase.

Maybe suggest renting and just enjoying yourselves for a bit. If youre both earning renting should be doable. Spend income on weekends away etc...all the stuff you cant do when youve got kids!

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