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Please help: Avoidant personality sufferer struggling with recovery Watch

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    Anon for understandable reasons!

    Hi all! I am 23 and suffered with AvPD in various degrees since age 18 when I cut all contacts with friends and became a recluse/housebound for months, since this I've never fully recovered.

    I've obviously worked on and off, but suffered with high level anxiety in all of these employment setting, and have never been able to last longer than a year in employment because eventually I just can't handle it anymore, and if I am to ever stand a chance of stable employment I need to get over my Avpd once and for all. This means facing everything I have put so much effort into avoiding all these years.

    I've had various jobs over the years but suffered with severe anxiety since it began which is still current, but I am at the point where I want to take the leap but the anxiety kicks in to the extreme.

    I have to go out and face things and it's making me suffer. Seeing all of my old friends or just people who knew me from years ago, it terrifies me to the extreme seeing them, just thinking about it scares me, I have recurrent nightmares about it.
    When I begin my exposure tasks properly I will undoubtedly encounter these people, but in order to live properly I need to face it all, but I have to do it on my own and I don't think I can cope with it.

    I will already be in panic mode just by visiting my local area, and seeing these people whilst in this mode means that after all this time, they will see me at my most vulnerable and therefore will be judging me as they see me, which I hate.

    Can anyone relate? I would appreciate your help and input!
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    please help
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon for understandable reasons!

    Hi all! I am 23 and suffered with AvPD in various degrees since age 18 when I cut all contacts with friends and became a recluse/housebound for months, since this I've never fully recovered.

    I've obviously worked on and off, but suffered with high level anxiety in all of these employment setting, and have never been able to last longer than a year in employment because eventually I just can't handle it anymore, and if I am to ever stand a chance of stable employment I need to get over my Avpd once and for all. This means facing everything I have put so much effort into avoiding all these years.

    I've had various jobs over the years but suffered with severe anxiety since it began which is still current, but I am at the point where I want to take the leap but the anxiety kicks in to the extreme.

    I have to go out and face things and it's making me suffer. Seeing all of my old friends or just people who knew me from years ago, it terrifies me to the extreme seeing them, just thinking about it scares me, I have recurrent nightmares about it.
    When I begin my exposure tasks properly I will undoubtedly encounter these people, but in order to live properly I need to face it all, but I have to do it on my own and I don't think I can cope with it.

    I will already be in panic mode just by visiting my local area, and seeing these people whilst in this mode means that after all this time, they will see me at my most vulnerable and therefore will be judging me as they see me, which I hate.

    Can anyone relate? I would appreciate your help and input!
    Hi, sorry I can't give any advice but I can definitely relate to some of that, because of my increasing problems with social anxiety and avoidance I've literally cut myself off from everyone I've ever known outside of my family, there isn't anyone that I even occasionally speak to anymore, I've avoided people at uni for various reasons like getting bullied and ridiculed and I've avoided my friends back at home for the last couple of years as well cause I just couldn't cope with socialising and hearing about people's great lives and meeting partners at uni, while my life was mostly being too scared to leave my room.

    I'm not in your position just yet, but I graduate in a few months and then after that I've got to find a job in this area and there's the possibility of seeing one of my old friends that I've avoided for so long (or even worse the possibility of getting a job at the same place as them) and the thought of awkwardly bumping into one of them is terrifying, I have a near on panic attack every time I see someone I've avoided at uni unexpectedly, I just have no idea what I'd say to them and I know inevitably I'll avoid the local town where most of friends live at all costs in the summer.

    I don't know how I'll cope with a job and having to interact again with people with the constant fear of them judging me badly inevitably making me withdrawn, but I guess I'm hoping its going to be a new start in life and I might just find one person who doesn't judge me badly and patronise me because I'm so quiet and anxious. Everyone will say exposure, forcing yourself to do stuff, go and talk to your friends and things like that is the way forward, but I've tried to expose myself in the past and that exposure only made things worse when it didn't go well and I'm pretty sure I've avoided my friends at home to the point of no return, I imagine they hate me now for all those unreturned texts and I don't blame them and I don't think I could handle the embarrassment of seeing them again.

    Good luck in whatever you do in the future, hope things improve for both of us
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    What kind of help are you receiving at the moment?
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    (Original post by Dee Leigh)
    What kind of help are you receiving at the moment?
    CBT, but this is my 3rd course of CBT and I've learned it is not for me. I feel so screwed, and clearly I am screwed.

    The reason I am so anxious is because I am going to finally face this after all these years, I just need support, is it really as bad as I imagine?
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    anyone?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    CBT, but this is my 3rd course of CBT and I've learned it is not for me. I feel so screwed, and clearly I am screwed.

    The reason I am so anxious is because I am going to finally face this after all these years, I just need support, is it really as bad as I imagine?
    I know how you feel, having to face up to these issues and having to learn to overcome them. I'm the same, I have so many issues and I feel as though I will be screwed forever.

    Is there any particular reason why CBT isn't working for you?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Dee Leigh)
    I know how you feel, having to face up to these issues and having to learn to overcome them. I'm the same, I have so many issues and I feel as though I will be screwed forever.

    Is there any particular reason why CBT isn't working for you?
    I went into my local town centre today, even though it was 11am it was still very busy. I think I will start going at 9:30am and work up to going in on the weekends and in the afternoon
 
 
 
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