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I want my boyfriend to be protective jealous is this wierd? watch

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    #1

    I dont mean clingy jealous the sort of how dare you talk to another man jealous but actually show a bit of jealousy when i suppose i get hit on.

    My boyfriend is so relaxed which is great but sometimes i feel he is too relaxed, he told me he wouldnt care if i got with guys as he doesnt see it as cheating whereas id be heartbroken if he kissed another woman and would dump him. When we sometimes go out guys come over (sometimes im not trying to sound big headed) and ask for my number of touch my bum or put their arms around my waist to which i always say i have a boyfriend but my boyfriend always says oh you can have her, or he just totally blanks it. Sometimes I wish he would be protective and step in I had one guy who was holding onto my wrists and wouldnt let me walk away and my boyfriend just walked past without batting an eyelid.

    My male friends are more protective than he is. He tells me i should dress 'sexily' when i go out to gget male attention as its 'character building' becuase i lack self esteem he wants men to hit on me so i feel good about myself, but i dont feel good about myself i feel the total opposite i feel like my boyfriend thinks im ugly and nothing special so doesnt want to keep me as his girl and be protective of me..

    I said he never gets jealous and he said its a good thing which it is but sometimes i do kinda wish he'd get a bit jealous it shows he cares and wants me all to himself at the moment i feel like he'd happilyyy pass me around. I would never cheat and i never have and he is my first boyfriend so i dont know if im over reacting?
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    A lot of guys pretend not to be jealous because most girls hate that, and it ends up ruining a lot of relationships. Talk to him about it, tell him how you feel.

    Alternatively, he's cheating on you and wants you to do something so he doesn't look so bad when he tells you :rolleyes:

    But hopefully it's the first one
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    it's a bit weird that he's ok with it... but for some people the exclusivity of a relationship only applies emotionally :dontknow:
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    It's not weird but it's not exactly healthy in a relationship either.
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    To be honest it's a happy medium...

    I used to think that having a protective boyfriend would feel good until I got a (now ex) boyfriend that would start sulking as soon as one of my guy-friends started a conversation with me. THAT was horrible.

    Although I can sympathise that it maybe feel like he doesn't care enough? Talking is absolutely key to successful relationships; although it's a bit of a weird conversation to have, tell him how you're feeling


    Ugh, and i'm sick of everyone on TSR going "he must be cheating on you" every time a relationship problem comes up!!!
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    I don't think it's weird :')
    But trust me, you don't really want that anyway.
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    Welcome Squad
    I find that really strange. He isn't really acting like a boyfriend.

    Talk to him.
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    I consider myself pretty relaxed too, but if a guy was holding onto my girlfriend's wrists and wouldn't let go, I'd step in and just take her away with me.

    To be honest, the way you've described your boyfriend makes it sound as if he's not really too bothered about you/the relationship. There's a difference between not being jealous and just not caring about your girlfriend.
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    My boyfriend is the same: There's two options,
    1. He's cheating on you regularly so wants you to so he dosnt feel bad.
    2. He's into cuckhold (google it)
    In my case it's both.
    • #2
    #2

    Be careful what you wish for is all I can say.

    Being with a jealous man I think is never flattering and I am speaking from experiance. At first I liked it even though I wouldn't admit it. It was just 'who is he?', 'why is he talking to you, i'll keep my eye on him' if a guy talked to me and then it escalated to the point where I couldn't even be in a room at college where boys were at whilst he was on the phone,as he constantly would say I was 'trying to get into them' etc. Eventually I wasn't 'allowed' to visit even my closest friends (who are nearly all female) or my family without suspicion. He would always suggest I was with other guys which was never ever true as even if I wanted to be with other guys, I couldn't as I was always with him.

    He left me in a horrible manner and it broke my heart. He left because I was starting to stand up to him and be out of sight, especially as uni was getting closer. He couldn't keep track of me 24/7. Did I learn from it is the most important thing? Yes. I learnt a lot.
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    Posessive ? You want Possesive ?

    You gon learn today !
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    I dont like how someone was holding your wrists and preventing you from walking away, and your boyfriend walked past. I think that's wrong, for anyone to do. I'd suggest just telling him how you feel, and ask him if he truly cares for you/ wants to date you?
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    (Original post by The Wild Youth)
    I used to think that having a protective boyfriend would feel good until I got a (now ex) boyfriend that would start sulking as soon as one of my guy-friends started a conversation with me. THAT was horrible.
    AMEN to that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Be careful what you wish for is all I can say.

    Being with a jealous man I think is never flattering and I am speaking from experiance. At first I liked it even though I wouldn't admit it. It was just 'who is he?', 'why is he talking to you, i'll keep my eye on him' if a guy talked to me and then it escalated to the point where I couldn't even be in a room at college where boys were at whilst he was on the phone,as he constantly would say I was 'trying to get into them' etc. Eventually I wasn't 'allowed' to visit even my closest friends (who are nearly all female) or my family without suspicion. He would always suggest I was with other guys which was never ever true as even if I wanted to be with other guys, I couldn't as I was always with him.

    He left me in a horrible manner and it broke my heart. He left because I was starting to stand up to him and be out of sight, especially as uni was getting closer. He couldn't keep track of me 24/7. Did I learn from it is the most important thing? Yes. I learnt a lot.
    Obviously that is the other end of the spectrum.

    The OP's boyfriend doesn't care at all. Yours cared far too much. There is a middle ground which most boyfriends seem to manage just fine...
 
 
 
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