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I feel like I'm being used but I really care about him. Watch

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    I have been involved with a guy from uni since October from my course. We both do music so we have loads in common, we have the same taste in music so we always have a lot to talk about. He's lovely and when we're together its always great but the problem is it always seems to be fuelled by alcohol. He is a quiet person but he'll have a drink and change and then his feelings come out. I have slept with him a couple of times and he stayed till the afternoon at my place afterwards, just chatting and playing guitar and generally making me fall for him. Then he said that he doesn't want a relationship but he doesn't just want to be my friend either so I feel like he's used me for sex yet still leads me on to thinking he cares for me more by the things he does. He told me he loved me after a night out once and I'm not naive I know it could be the alcohol talking but it just messes with my head. He doesn't want to admit to his friends that maybe he does care for me, he wants to look the big man and be a bit of a player, I asked him about this and he said he's not being a player with anyone else (he was drunk at the time. He drinks too much!!!) just makes me feel rubbish all the time and I don't know what to do about it because I really do care about him a lot. Would love some advice hope this doesn't sound too pathetic, and that I have taken a fresher lad too seriously thank youu x


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    (Original post by AnnaWood)
    I have been involved with a guy from uni since October from my course. We both do music so we have loads in common, we have the same taste in music so we always have a lot to talk about. He's lovely and when we're together its always great but the problem is it always seems to be fuelled by alcohol. He is a quiet person but he'll have a drink and change and then his feelings come out. I have slept with him a couple of times and he stayed till the afternoon at my place afterwards, just chatting and playing guitar and generally making me fall for him. Then he said that he doesn't want a relationship but he doesn't just want to be my friend either so I feel like he's used me for sex yet still leads me on to thinking he cares for me more by the things he does. He told me he loved me after a night out once and I'm not naive I know it could be the alcohol talking but it just messes with my head. He doesn't want to admit to his friends that maybe he does care for me, he wants to look the big man and be a bit of a player, I asked him about this and he said he's not being a player with anyone else (he was drunk at the time. He drinks too much!!!) just makes me feel rubbish all the time and I don't know what to do about it because I really do care about him a lot. Would love some advice hope this doesn't sound too pathetic, and that I have taken a fresher lad too seriously thank youu x


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    My advice forget him and move on
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    (Original post by AnnaWood)
    I have been involved with a guy from uni since October from my course. We both do music so we have loads in common, we have the same taste in music so we always have a lot to talk about. He's lovely and when we're together its always great but the problem is it always seems to be fuelled by alcohol. He is a quiet person but he'll have a drink and change and then his feelings come out. I have slept with him a couple of times and he stayed till the afternoon at my place afterwards, just chatting and playing guitar and generally making me fall for him. Then he said that he doesn't want a relationship but he doesn't just want to be my friend either so I feel like he's used me for sex yet still leads me on to thinking he cares for me more by the things he does. He told me he loved me after a night out once and I'm not naive I know it could be the alcohol talking but it just messes with my head. He doesn't want to admit to his friends that maybe he does care for me, he wants to look the big man and be a bit of a player, I asked him about this and he said he's not being a player with anyone else (he was drunk at the time. He drinks too much!!!) just makes me feel rubbish all the time and I don't know what to do about it because I really do care about him a lot. Would love some advice hope this doesn't sound too pathetic, and that I have taken a fresher lad too seriously thank youu x


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    I would stop seeing him personally if you want more than just sex, hard as it is but to me if he said he don't want a relationships then I am afraid you are chasing a lost cause.
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    Have some self respect. Life is too short to waste time on people like this. So I would say forget about him and move on...but you wont and you will continue torturing yourself and validating his ego for him to have the confidence to sleep with other girls.
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    It is tough I know but the other posters are right. Get out and see some other people - you are being a doormat and then some. Boys at uni just want to have a good time and play the field - and you are part of the field. Harsh but true. And seeing things through the bottom of a beer/spirit glass - even worse. Just go out and have a good time - he is not the only lad around.
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    (Original post by AnnaWood)
    I have been involved with a guy from uni since October from my course. We both do music so we have loads in common, we have the same taste in music so we always have a lot to talk about. He's lovely and when we're together its always great but the problem is it always seems to be fuelled by alcohol. He is a quiet person but he'll have a drink and change and then his feelings come out. I have slept with him a couple of times and he stayed till the afternoon at my place afterwards, just chatting and playing guitar and generally making me fall for him. Then he said that he doesn't want a relationship but he doesn't just want to be my friend either so I feel like he's used me for sex yet still leads me on to thinking he cares for me more by the things he does. He told me he loved me after a night out once and I'm not naive I know it could be the alcohol talking but it just messes with my head. He doesn't want to admit to his friends that maybe he does care for me, he wants to look the big man and be a bit of a player, I asked him about this and he said he's not being a player with anyone else (he was drunk at the time. He drinks too much!!!) just makes me feel rubbish all the time and I don't know what to do about it because I really do care about him a lot. Would love some advice hope this doesn't sound too pathetic, and that I have taken a fresher lad too seriously thank youu x


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    First signs of a player, lack of commitment, either accept it or move on.
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    (Original post by AnnaWood)
    I have been involved with a guy from uni since October from my course. We both do music so we have loads in common, we have the same taste in music so we always have a lot to talk about. He's lovely and when we're together its always great but the problem is it always seems to be fuelled by alcohol. He is a quiet person but he'll have a drink and change and then his feelings come out. I have slept with him a couple of times and he stayed till the afternoon at my place afterwards, just chatting and playing guitar and generally making me fall for him. Then he said that he doesn't want a relationship but he doesn't just want to be my friend either so I feel like he's used me for sex yet still leads me on to thinking he cares for me more by the things he does. He told me he loved me after a night out once and I'm not naive I know it could be the alcohol talking but it just messes with my head. He doesn't want to admit to his friends that maybe he does care for me, he wants to look the big man and be a bit of a player, I asked him about this and he said he's not being a player with anyone else (he was drunk at the time. He drinks too much!!!) just makes me feel rubbish all the time and I don't know what to do about it because I really do care about him a lot. Would love some advice hope this doesn't sound too pathetic, and that I have taken a fresher lad too seriously thank youu x
    You're expecting him to change? Sorry, he won't. Time to move on.
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    It is hard but I will do it. Thanks for your advice x


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