Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I love my boyfriend but I fancy other guys Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 years now and I really do love him, there is nothing wrong with our relationship. But I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be with other guys?
    He is a year younger than me and I am more attracted to older guys and I feel like he is sometimes immature.
    I don't want us to break up but I don't know what to do?
    I am 17 and have never been with anyone else.
    Advice please?
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    The whole point of being in a relationship is to overcome feelings like that, if they're too strong then there wouldn't be a need to be with him in my opinion.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Of course you still fancy other guys, everyone else doesn't instantly become ugly to you the second you are in a relationship
    • PS Helper
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    Peer Support Volunteers
    You might have to re-assess your relationship. Why are you thinking about other boys when you love your boyfriend? What is it you like about your boyfriend that you think these other boys would be different? You might have to make a difficult decision, if you really love him I personally (might be different for others) wouldn't feel right about thinking about going with other boys.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    He probably thinks about other girls too- he's a guy after all!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think I just miss the excitement of a new relationship... Is that normal?
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    Chill, you've got a bit of a disney view of love. It doesn't stop you liking other people, it's just a social convention to pretend it does.

    Him being potentially too immature is a separate, and real, issue.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    No, you do not love him then.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    It's normal! You're human and allowed be attracted to or even wonder what it would be like. Just once it stops at fantasy then it's no harm.
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    TSR Support Team
    (Original post by lyrical_lie)
    You might have to re-assess your relationship. Why are you thinking about other boys when you love your boyfriend? What is it you like about your boyfriend that you think these other boys would be different? You might have to make a difficult decision, if you really love him I personally (might be different for others) wouldn't feel right about thinking about going with other boys.

    (Original post by jam96)
    I think I just miss the excitement of a new relationship... Is that normal?
    May I refer you to the above comment, is your relationship losing it's spark and gone stale or routine. I am wondering if you are looking for excuses or faults in your boyfriend.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    What do you mean by "fancy them"? I think everyone is guilty of having a silly crush on a stranger sometimes but it's whether you want to act on it that shows you whether its serious or not...
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I would never act on it but that doesn't mean I don't want to. And above ^ maybe it has lost it's spark but I really don't want to break up


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lyrical_lie)
    You might have to re-assess your relationship. Why are you thinking about other boys when you love your boyfriend? What is it you like about your boyfriend that you think these other boys would be different? You might have to make a difficult decision, if you really love him I personally (might be different for others) wouldn't feel right about thinking about going with other boys.
    I do agree with this. The posters who say "of course you fancy other guys" are of course right, but there's a difference between a relatively impartial physical attraction and actively considering what it would be like to be with others.

    If you're happy in a relationship, if the relationship is working, that doesn't really become an option in your head. It's not a conscious process but rather a simple fact - if you're with someone and you really do like them, you don't see anyone else (or at least, I don't).

    For me, when my head starts to turn, I know there's a problem. I wouldn't cheat, and never have, but the idea that I'd really want to sleep with someone else suggests to me I don't care for my partner as I once did. That's usually a bad sign.

    You're young. You naturally want to experiment, you naturally want to try new things. (Oops, tautology). It's tough, but you should really think about where your relationship is.

    Sorry, I know that's probably not the answer you wanted...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jam96)
    Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 years now and I really do love him, there is nothing wrong with our relationship. But I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be with other guys?
    He is a year younger than me and I am more attracted to older guys and I feel like he is sometimes immature.
    I don't want us to break up but I don't know what to do?
    I am 17 and have never been with anyone else.
    Advice please?
    Whatever you do, have the decency not to cheat on him. If you're going to leave him, do it decently, you have no idea what cheating him could put him through.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    You LOVE your boyfriend! LOVE Is what amatters when your in a relationship.
    Yeah, you may look at other people, thats normal, cause their not invisible.

    Fancy is just a word...doesn't mean you actually love that other guy. Anyways.

    But when some people are in a relationship, they must feel how it would be different if they where with soneone else and yeah they probly fancy someone, its not like they will run off with them. But then again thry could.... So it goes either way really.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    so long as you still imagine that your bf is next to you in bed at night (when he physically isn't obviously), then there's nothing to worry about
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 1, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What's your favourite Christmas sweets?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.