Jeez if he likes drugs let him enjoy them, raves are awesome, especially on MDMA. I'm not into coke that much but I know people who take it occasionally and they don't have a problem. You're just not compatible and if you've got a problem with him enjoying himself then you should leave him.
Boyfriend with a drug problem watch
- 01-04-2013 16:40
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 01-04-2013 18:33
Hi, I'm 17 years old. A lot of my friends use recreational drugs because, in my area, its relatively normal. I don't, and never have, used any drugs because I simply don't see the incentive, although I am obviously often around people who do.
I've been with a boy for around five months. We get on really well and I love to spend time with him; I'm pretty crazy about him. I never thought the drugs thing would be an issue, but I think it very much is. He is always out partying and at raves doing hardcore drugs (mostly MDMA, occasionally cocaine) and I go with and stand awkwardly sober in the corner. He tells me its okay and he appreciates my choice of not doing drugs, but he still won't stop. I'm beginning to think he has an addiction, but he laughs when I tell him this - and given that its so common for our social circles, I'm not surprised he thinks he's okay.
I like him very much and dont want to hurt him, but his lifestyle is bringing me down. I spend long Sundays with him nursing his hangover and listening to his drug related problems and I can't do it anymore. My work is beginning to suffer and I can't spend my life taking care of a problem that I myself dont even have.
Should i try to help him or leave him?
You don't need to go and stand awkwardly at raves or nurse his hangover. You can have different interests and the relationship still work. He said he respects your decision not to do drugs, I think you should respect his decision to do them. In a healthy relationship you should have the freedom to make your own choices and be left to get on with it unless it is impacting to much on your partner.
If he is off his tits 24/7 and not spending enough time with you then you should leave him. But if your enjoy your relationship apart from his drug use then separate your relationship from that. Let him take drugs if he wants to and ignore it.
(Original post by noobynoo)
- 01-04-2013 18:41
If you want him to stop taking drugs: Dump him. And tell him the reason you're dumping him is because of his drug taking. That may be the only thing that will shock him enough to stop. Otherwise he obviously likes drugs more than you. In which case good riddance.
Yeah, a "bit of cocaine" and a "bit of MDMA" and maybe even a "bit of heroin" probably won't kill him (even if it is cut with rat poisson as is usually the case) but nor will 20 pints of alcohol. What they all do is turn a nice interesting person into a ****er.
I meet lots of druggies on a daily basis. They usually asking me for spare change. I just ignore them. Wastes of space.
And most people I know that do drugs are rich kids with quite a bit of fund. Drugs aren't cheap
- 01-04-2013 18:59
I'd dump him if I were you. You're young and you shouldn't be jeopardising your future (you said your work was suffering) for a guy who you probably won't be with in a year or ten.
I would say it's not wise to hang out with people who take drugs if you're against them because you risk being tarred with the same brush. People may assume that you also take drugs if everyone else you hang out with does.
5 months is not a long time. Get out while you're still not too attached. I ended up spending 4 years with a guy that I didn't like because the longer I was with him, the more I felt like I'd wasted all those years if I left him now. My exams also suffered as a result of him so my advice is to get out!
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- 20-04-2013 01:49
You don't need drugs to be cool. You need sunglasses to be cool.
- 20-04-2013 01:56
Give him an ultimatum - the drugs or me.