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    Hi, I need some advice about my boyfriend, but I dont know if its all in my head so I dont want to discuss it with my friends incase I seem crazy.
    Basically Ive been with my boyfriend for about 8months, and on the whole its great, we have fun together and Im always really happy with him. The problem is his ex girlfriend, he was only with her for about 3months and split up with her not too long before we started dating. However, hes a very laid back person with relationships and likes to take his time getting to know a person, but he didnt with her, they jumped into a very serious loved up relationship very fast and it ended just as quickly. When Ive asked why it ended he wont tell me, he says its personal to them and he doesnt want to talk about it. This worries me, as hes quite open with other things and I feel like theres a big reason why theyre not together, he claims im overthinking it but I feel like im the second option now, as though he wont tell me because hes not over it, or because theyre not together because they cant be, not because they dont want to be.
    Also when talking the other day, I asked what the most romantic thing hed ever done was, it was for her. Hes never really been romantic to me at all and now I feel even more like second best, clearly his feelings for me arent as serious as they were for her in such a short space of time. He also says his biggest regret was something to do with the way he acted with something with her. Im worried his biggest regret is what caused them to split up and he wishes they were together.
    I know this is rambling and long, but Im not usually a jealous person, I trust he wouldnt cheat but Im scared im second best and that given the chance, hed rather be with her. Its making me wonder if I can handle our relationship with this hanging over my head, especially since he knows how much it upsets me and still wont talk about it.
    Am I overthinking things?
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    Honestly, i don't think your otherthinking things at all, if that was me in your situation, I would be thinking the same things as you = ( I'm sorry your going through this.

    The best advice I can give is if your like me and can't get past this then leave him before you develop stronger feelings for him = / or talk to him, if he loves you and is over his ex then he needs to reassure you which by the sounds of it he hasn't been doing very well.

    It is hard getting over a relationship which is why he shouldnt have dated you until he's fully over his ex. You need to know for sure if he is over for her, if he still has strong feelings for his ex then it's just not right in my opinion = /
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    Thanks I've been thinking the same thing to be honest, but he's good at making me think I'm over reacting and I didnt want to throw it away over my own paranoia. But thanks for your advice
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    Hey! Your situation sounds very familar to me, because I was in it too. My ex-boyfriend was still pining over his ex while he was with me, and even though he wouldn't admit it, I could tell and it made me feel so inferior. I should have trusted my intuition, because it turned out in the end that he cheated with her while he was with me. (I was very happy with him and I thought he would never cheat too...)

    I'm not saying that's the case, but I think you're right about him and you need to decide how to act on it. Don't ignore the feeling because you deserve to be someone's one and only, not their second choice.
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    I know you're probably right, its just hard, he says I shouldn't be concentrating on it because its in the past and hes with me now. Which makes me question whether Im overreacting, but I do think ill have to sort it out, thanks
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    If he does not want to tell you it's up to him, what matters the most is he is with you, your the one he wants, he will probably tell you one day, but let him decide when he wants to as long as it does not cause trouble between you two don't worry

    You sound happy with him, do not let little things ruin it.
 
 
 
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