Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Going Uni at 23 ... thinking how I'll fit in Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Going Uni again this september and wondering how I'll fit in. Just thinking about people in and around my age (18-23ish) and how obnoxious they are. Every time I go on Facebook/Twitter I see the same things again and again.

    Why are the youth in this country (particularly students) so obnoxious? I remember going to Uni at 19 and thinking what a bunch of pathetic individuals I was around. Everyone was having a front and did whatever it took to conform to being in a group. I felt like I saw a different side to humanity, it was awful. This is a big reason I despised University, because of the sheep like mentality and absolute lack of any sincerity. It was like a bunch of Frankie Cocozza's/Helen Flanagan's on the loose. Every time I go on Facebook/Twitter I see the same things again and again. The whole student culture is so in your face on that site. Everyone posing and posting snaps to look cool. People reposting twitter posts to look cool or knowledgable. Showing off etc etc University was like a real life version of Facebook, and not about the study whatsoever .. and I went to a top uni.

    I found myself feeling alienated from these people. I couldn't relate to their ingenuine selves. It didn't feel natural. I found that people who were working were much more with it, and genuine. There wasn't any false pretences or showing off. Suddenly people seemed real again.

    But I'm going back in September to study and just wondering if others have done the same as me/share similar views? .. and how you coped.

    I can't see myself hanging out with these childlike 18 year olds again.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Just ignore the uni lifestyle. When I was at uni (finished last year, I'm 23 now) I just did the work, went to the gym, went back to my uni flat, went on the internet, did some hobbies, that's all. The only thing I liked about it was having the chance to live away from home. All of the cultural nonsense was ignored. It's the best way to deal with it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by bored.i.am)
    Going Uni again this september and wondering how I'll fit in. Just thinking about people in and around my age (18-23ish) and how obnoxious they are. Every time I go on Facebook/Twitter I see the same things again and again.

    Why are the youth in this country (particularly students) so obnoxious? I remember going to Uni at 19 and thinking what a bunch of pathetic individuals I was around. Everyone was having a front and did whatever it took to conform to being in a group. I felt like I saw a different side to humanity, it was awful. This is a big reason I despised University, because of the sheep like mentality and absolute lack of any sincerity. It was like a bunch of Frankie Cocozza's/Helen Flanagan's on the loose. Every time I go on Facebook/Twitter I see the same things again and again. The whole student culture is so in your face on that site. Everyone posing and posting snaps to look cool. People reposting twitter posts to look cool or knowledgable. Showing off etc etc University was like a real life version of Facebook, and not about the study whatsoever .. and I went to a top uni.

    I found myself feeling alienated from these people. I couldn't relate to their ingenuine selves. It didn't feel natural. I found that people who were working were much more with it, and genuine. There wasn't any false pretences or showing off. Suddenly people seemed real again.

    But I'm going back in September to study and just wondering if others have done the same as me/share similar views? .. and how you coped.

    I can't see myself hanging out with these childlike 18 year olds again.
    I agree with you. I went to a university where there were mostly 18 - 21 year olds in my classes to another university where there were mostly mature students (many in their 30s, 40s and 50s). Mature students were more friendly and non-conformist.

    I guess just be yourself. There's no need for you to conform and fit in with any group. At the end of the day, you're there to get a degree.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    This reminds me a lot of my uni experience, almost to the word. It was incredible how ridiculous it was. I was living with complete morons who spent their time ALWAYS smoking and drinking with a distinct lack of conversational skills and then trying to act intelligent on social networks .... Bad memories!

    Anyway. I can only presume you're going to meet similar sorts of people this time round, (Uni "culture" hasn't changed all that much), maybe you should be prepared to venture further afield from your campus/accommodation/house or whatever to meet the right people. Maybe you'll get lucky and meet similar-minded people close by. I most certainly agree with you though, mingling with the standard 18-year old uni type isn't my idea of fun either.

    Best of luck!
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    I suggest making your life as much outside uni as possible. Maybe live away from student areas, have hobbies which are not linked to the uni etc. I really really really wish I hadn't gone to uni when I did, I wish I had waited until I had established my own life and family and done it part time when I was ready to. I feel very much an outsider, I don't have any friends in uni at all, because of all the reasons you said. The only people I got along with were some Asian girls , but I eventually realised they were racist and so didn't talk to them again. Probably doesnt help that I don't drink either.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by bored.i.am)
    Going Uni again this september and wondering how I'll fit in. Just thinking about people in and around my age (18-23ish) and how obnoxious they are. Every time I go on Facebook/Twitter I see the same things again and again.

    Why are the youth in this country (particularly students) so obnoxious? I remember going to Uni at 19 and thinking what a bunch of pathetic individuals I was around. Everyone was having a front and did whatever it took to conform to being in a group. I felt like I saw a different side to humanity, it was awful. This is a big reason I despised University, because of the sheep like mentality and absolute lack of any sincerity. It was like a bunch of Frankie Cocozza's/Helen Flanagan's on the loose. Every time I go on Facebook/Twitter I see the same things again and again. The whole student culture is so in your face on that site. Everyone posing and posting snaps to look cool. People reposting twitter posts to look cool or knowledgable. Showing off etc etc University was like a real life version of Facebook, and not about the study whatsoever .. and I went to a top uni.

    I found myself feeling alienated from these people. I couldn't relate to their ingenuine selves. It didn't feel natural. I found that people who were working were much more with it, and genuine. There wasn't any false pretences or showing off. Suddenly people seemed real again.

    But I'm going back in September to study and just wondering if others have done the same as me/share similar views? .. and how you coped.

    I can't see myself hanging out with these childlike 18 year olds again.
    There are many people of all ages (including 18 year olds) who just like you feel they don't enjoy or fit in with the most common/popular culture for people of their age.

    I would advise - look for them. Don't avoid socialising by hiding away in your room but speak to many people and look in many places. You are bound to find like minded people somewhere. Speak to various people in your lectures, join societies... in particular it sounds like you might enjoy hanging out in the grad bar or attending grad events. Look for events in your uni city which interest you.

    I'd also say be open minded. Someone may give off a bad first impression but when you actually talk to them for a length of time you realise they are a nice person and you have a lot in common. I know people who I thought I would never get on with from our first meeting or two who have turned out to be nice or even good friends! I guess just think of a time you've done something which you look back on and think WHY?! and imagine if everyone you met judged you solely on that.

    On a side note, it sounds like you have the wrong kind of people on your facebook/twitter if you feel like that about them!


    xxx
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    You're not going to fit in, congratulations.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Why are you using Facebook? Pfft about a billion people use that site. Conformist.
    Why are you using Twitter? Pfft about a billion people use that site. Conformist.
    Why are using The Student Room? Pfft about a million people use this site. Conformist.

    Ridiculous, isn't it?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Gravitate towards people who are like you.
    The type of people you seek are not those who showboat on Facebook.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    I went back at 22, and chose to make friends with like minded people, much like i would have if i had gone at 18. Age isnt the issue, it is the fact that you dont want to be with certain people, but you dont have to! Theres so many different types of people, so many groups and things to get involved with inside and outside of uni that its not a problem- just dont come across with the whole 'too good to hang around these cretins' attitude.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    You sound like a stuck-up ****. Imagine, a group of horny 18 year olds all leaving home at the same time, exited for what they hope will be the best time of their lives. At the same time they're all trying their hardest to fit in to a completely different group of people.

    If you go against all that of course you're going to end up being a cynical loner.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm currently in my third year and my experiences were fairly similar. In my first year I stayed in halls for about 4 months then decided to just live at home and commute because everyone in my flat was an idiot. I don't drink, smoke or anything so it was difficult to fit in with those people.

    You'll eventually find people with similar interests on your course, I'm sure
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe you're the one that's different, 23 is exactly that much older than 18, 19 year olds, you should fit in fine


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I drink, but don't smoke. So I can fit in the way of life so to speak but mentally I felt more grown up then the other guys at uni and I was 19 then! Now I'm 23 God knows how I'll find it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Im 23 too and starting uni in sept!...i kinda have the same thoughts of how i'm going to fit in! dont get me wrong, il chat to anyone and can fit in easily... just nervous that everyone will be that much younger than me! little bit scared too, never been to uni before!!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I'm going to be 22 when starting in September. This will be my second time on an undergrad as I withdrew from my first because I strongly disliked the subject. I can understand your worries as many of them are also my own, but I think that uni being such an enormous hive of people, all from different cultures and backgrounds - you're bound to find like minded people if you do some looking around. The type of people you speak of although they may seem like the majority, I've come to realise are actually the minority but they're so damn loud and in your face all the time that that's what you think everybody is like!

    This may sound a bit hocus pocus to most but you do tend to attract the right people into your life if you really want / need them. Don't worry at all OP, just go into uni with passion in whatever you do and you will find the right people

    Good luck.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'll be 26 when I go to university in Sept and my priority isn't if I fit in or not. My priority is to get (hopefully) a good degree and get a job in something I love, so I can afford a decent mortgage and eventually raise a family with a secure income and have a secure life without having too many financial related issues, or work in a dead end job, being spoken too as though you are something that people have trodden in. (which has been the position I have been in for the past 10 years!
    I have an amazing group of friends, family and an amazing fiancé; so I am not there for the student life.

    Don't get me wrong, I will get on with the people I will be studying with, we were all 18 once, however, I am not going to pay £27000 to just make friends and get drunk (been there, got the t-shirt etc). I will be going to get a degree and a positive future.

    Being a mature student is a plus side, you know what you want, what you don’t want and you are not afraid to ask for it.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 2, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.