Years ago I suffered from anorexia alongside having problems with anxiety and depression, I managed to weight restore and make lots of progress since and up til very recently had been okay. However I seem to have just regressed massively and I don't know how to deal with it. I am eating fine but my body image is absolutely awful. I gained past my target weight as I maintained at my target for a while and despite a good diet I stayed chronically tired, hungry and my low in various nutrients and gaining weight made me feel much better. However I now feel that literally everyone is thinner than me and it's really affecting my life, I never going clubbing anymore because I feel rediculous dressed up as I feel like I'm just trying to fit in withall these attractive people when I just don't and people take photos and I look fat and horrible in them. My friends who I haven't seen in ages keep bugging me to come with them and I literally cried for hours about it because I just can't face it, I literally feel sick at the thought. I'm supposed to be going on holiday and I'm thinking of cancelling the whole thing because the idea of wearing a bikini is too much. My OCD symptoms are getting worse again, I can't sleep at night because I can't stop checking the front door is locked and I just sit there in bed counting in complex patterns and repeating things.
And before someone suggests counselling or something, I went to my uni counselling centre and they told me not to bother. I really don't think there's any point in counselling, I've worked on all my issues, I have a good relationship with my parents, I know all the logic against my thoughts. I just don't know how to fix it.
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Recovered and 'fine' but struggling watch
- Thread Starter
- 01-04-2013 20:08
- 01-04-2013 22:29
Sounds like your having a rough time! Uni is stressful and it helps to get away from your university city even if for just a couple of days - try going home and staying with your folks for a weekend. I really know nothing about anorexia, but also suffer from OCD and can sympathise with how incredibly painful it can be - take one day as it comes and be gentle to yourself. Try CBT techniques and have faith that over time you will conquer the crippling evil parasite that is ocd! I don't know what city you're in but try searching for an ocd anonymous meetings and attend + I've heard a lot of people with anorexia go to overeaters anonymous (don't be put off by the name) (http://www.obsessivecompulsiveanonymous.org.uk/) (http://www.overeatersanonymous.org/) If i'm honest I think you should go on your holiday because if you avoid doiong so, you give power to you intrusive thought that you are not good enough --> if you give power to it you just re-enforce it and it gets worse, this is called avoidance behaviour and you must be brave and confront those things you illness tells you not to, expecially with something like going on holiday which i'm sure will actually be a well deserved break for you and chance to relax. Hope this helps =)