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Think I want a baby but there are several issues Watch

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    Im getting close to 30 now (age 28) and have just decided (after discovering that labour can be made painless by epidural) that I probably want to have a baby sometime in the future. Im someone who others would least expect to have a baby Ive never even had a relationship/sex lol. I dont get many offers but Ive turned potential relationships down because I like my own company and am a huge tomboy who goes to the gym loads and loves cars. This is the problem though I need to find a mate/man first (preferably with good genes for sport as I want an active family who keep fit). So I need to be planning and thinking about the future.

    Im not great with interpersonal skills I have trouble getting close to others so the whole bonding etc might take some time. Therefore Im wondering how much time do I actually have left? I read that a good idea to find out is to ask your mum when she started menopause as apparantly the daughters start theirs around the same time. Problem is.. shes the very awkward/private type and won't tell me! She gets annoyed/stressed at the slight mention of it and tells me its nothing to do with me. I remember her mood swings and yelling at me for no reason in her 40's so my guess wuld be she started menopause sometime mid 40's..

    Whats even more worrying is my grandma started in her early/mid 30's so she says, she tells that many stories though I dont know what to believe.

    So yea firstly how would you resolve the finding a relationship issue if you enjoy being on your own?

    Also what age about would you start to worry about losing the chance to have a baby?

    Is my mum right at getting annoyed at me for asking?
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    No she's not right to be annoyed.
    What age should you worry?
    30 if you're planning ahead. After 35 fertility declines.
    The first question is odd? Well do you want to be alone or find a relationship? You can find one but still ahve time to yourself.
    As for being a tomboy, maybe that is putting men off a bit if you compete with them.
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    (Original post by Chillaxer)
    No she's not right to be annoyed.
    What age should you worry?
    30 if you're planning ahead. After 35 fertility declines.
    The first question is odd? Well do you want to be alone or find a relationship? You can find one but still ahve time to yourself.
    As for being a tomboy, maybe that is putting men off a bit if you compete with them.
    I was thinking more around 40 as i feel like ive just started my life despite being late twenties. Hm guess its facebooks fault people keep posting pictures of babies.
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    your mother shouldn't be annoyed but have you explained why you are asking? Fertility declines steeply from 35.

    Labour is unlikely to be totally painless, even with an epidural, but it's only one day.

    Having a baby at 40 is Ok but having a teenager at 46 isn't much fun. So start looking for that relationship now, you want some time together before a baby comes along. You can always try online dating.
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    Adoption can be done at any age, Think to yourself why bring another child into this world when theres loads that need a home, just an option.
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    The fact that you want a baby may put some men off. Don't mean that to sound nasty, just some men see things like that as alarm bells. Just want them as a sperm donor, trapped, needy etc....

    Focus on yourself and make yourself happy and everything will fall into place. It's always when you are least expecting, that great things happen. I am an only child and LOVE my own space, this is an advantage in a relationship as most blokes love their own space and will appriciate their alone time too.
    You don't have to live in each others pockets to be in love!

    As for the age issue, please don't put this pressure on yourself, yes fertility does decrease, but rushing into something as huge as bringing a life into the world is not the way to go about things.

    My fiance and I will not be having kids until early thirties (if we are blessed enough to concieve) as I decided to go back to university and would graduate until I am 30 and then I have to get a job etc. This is the way it is meant to be for us, that's our path.

    We priorised our lives for us, by the time we come to have children we will be married and own our home, as well as my degree under my belt.
    Prioritise your life for you and everything else will fall into place, trust me!
 
 
 
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