I need a poop, there is no tissue left

omg.... this thread is absolutely hilarious.... funny... smelly..

thanks for the laughs .....

i can think of 2 newspapers in my country that absolutely should be used as toilet paper...BH and UH....oh and one more STar

Reply 21

CAElite

19

This is why I miss £1 notes.

Reply 22

Elelia

13

Original post by Rybee

Same. Was in Amsterdam and our coach was leaving imminently, had a twitchy bum and there was no toilet roll.

No way could I have held that in for the coach ride to the ferry. I did laugh when someone pointed out I only had 1 sock on. At the time I just said I was getting ready in a rush, but now I do look back and laugh at what happened :rolleyes:

Hahaha this thought made me lol hah

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 23

Fullofsurprises

20

Do you think the people at the Star and Sun know this and have adjusted their paper accordingly? If so, it's good to know they care.

Reply 24

username133326

16

stick a bit of lube/vaseline up your anus... it'll repel most of the faeces and make wiping a much simpler job

apparently people in the forces do this when in the field but that's just hearsay

Reply 25

HighwayUnicorn

16

Be classy and use leaves.

Here buddy use this:

If you were getting - or still are getting, perish the thought - THAT desperate then how come you're sitting on the PC instead of on the bog? And why not go to a neighbour's house and ask to borrow a roll, you'll probably look like a tit, but not as much of a tit as posting this whole dilemma for the whole of TSR to see has!! :wink:

Reply 28

bluemax

16

You came on TSR to find out which newspaper will best suit you? :lolwut:

However, considering the replies I see from people here, you probably came to the right place.

Reply 29

Fullofsurprises

20

Ah yes. Clever. The FT are keeping the poor away from their kind of quality by causing rectal pain. That's why their staff earn the big bucks. Although the pink colour is kind of OK for toilet paper.

Reply 30

StartSomething

16

Original post by HumanSupremacist

Additionally, are you eight years old?

It happens. I once encountered this problem of no toilet roll. It was rather awkward.

There's many things that you can do:
1. Newspaper, magazine, yellow pages...
2. Go to Asda/Tesco/Some public place that has toilet roll and steal it. Although I do not encourage stealing. Stealing is bad. Or you could just buy it.
3. Cut up a bed sheet and use that.
4. Get some grass from the garden, or some leaves.
5. Crisp packet.
6. Jump in the shower straight after.
7. Toothbrush.
8. Baby wipes.

The list is endless. You just need to be creative :awesome:

Reply 31

HumanSupremacist

12

Original post by CAElite

This is why I miss £1 notes.

Why did you restart this pitiful thread? :rolleyes:

Reply 32

marcus2001

14

Original post by StartSomething

It happens. I once encountered this problem of no toilet roll. It was rather awkward.

There's many things that you can do:
1. Newspaper, magazine, yellow pages...
2. Go to Asda/Tesco/Some public place that has toilet roll and steal it. Although I do not encourage stealing. Stealing is bad. Or you could just buy it.
3. Cut up a bed sheet and use that.
4. Get some grass from the garden, or some leaves.
5. Crisp packet.
6. Jump in the shower straight after.
7. Toothbrush.
8. Baby wipes.

The list is endless. You just need to be creative :awesome:

But..but...girls don't poo :cry2: