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    Okay so I haven't been with my ex for over a year now. For the most part it doesn't bother me and I have moved on and structured my own life now and in the sense I date and what not. Since my ex broke up with me which literally broke me then, I have had some really traumatic events occur within like 6-9 months to add to it and became very depressed which I am over for the most part.

    My ex has contacted me and I have contacted him from time to time, although he denies it but that's another story. I don't hate him. I just resent him. I know this is irrational and that is probably why I am writing it on here, but I really do. Somewhere in my mind when I talk to him or see him I actually want to just be abusive towards him a lot, which sometimes I am. In my mind I think I blame him for everything that has happened. Don't get me wrong, we do 'talk' a bit then I can literally flip. I know this is wrong and I may seem so weird, but I am not. It's only with him. I can't be happy for his achievements and I don't feel in love with him, I just want to hurt him emotionally. I am quite embarrassed of the way I feel and it seems the longer we don't talk, the harder it becomes as I think, why should he have a good life when he began the downward cycle of mine?

    I do have self-control and I don't stalk him. He was abusive and still can be manipulative etc which doesn't make it easier. He can go from hot to cold then deny it as though I have made it up, which annoys me. I know your going to think I am psycho but this is just how I feel and I have never felt like this at all about anyone. I don't cry about him, I don't want him back, I don't even really want to speak to him as I have no common ground with him anymore and he just speaks to me when he wants and is lonely or trying to 'prove a point'.

    Please can someone help me to let go of this anger. Or any suggestions just to make it easier. It's hurting me now too
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    I have felt like towards an ex that assaulted me, the only thing i can suggest is totally cutting off contact and getting on with it. There is no magical cure, you will always feel wronged by him and angry that his life seems to be going better than yours but eventually you will think about it less and less. By occasionally feeding your anger you are just putting yourself right back to where you were a year ago.

    Hope this is helpful.
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    I have felt like towards an ex that assaulted me, the only thing i can suggest is totally cutting off contact and getting on with it. There is no magical cure, you will always feel wronged by him and angry that his life seems to be going better than yours but eventually you will think about it less and less. By occasionally feeding your anger you are just putting yourself right back to where you were a year ago.

    Hope this is helpful.
    Thats really good advice I just find it so hard, especially when he feels the need to boast about something or wind me up then make me feel stupid. Last year I felt terrible but more sick because of love, now I don't feel loving at all just a lot of anger about how great his life is apparently. Some may say it's jealousy and I would have to agree. In some ways it is comforting to see that others have felt this way and it's not just my weird and wonderful emotions :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thats really good advice I just find it so hard, especially when he feels the need to boast about something or wind me up then make me feel stupid. Last year I felt terrible but more sick because of love, now I don't feel loving at all just a lot of anger about how great his life is apparently. Some may say it's jealousy and I would have to agree. In some ways it is comforting to see that others have felt this way and it's not just my weird and wonderful emotions :rolleyes:
    Is it possible to totally cut him out?
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    Is it possible to totally cut him out?
    Yeah it is. Sometimes we don't talk for a couple of months anyway but one of us, usually me but sometimes him, gives in. Then it's just the cycle of anger again
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah it is. Sometimes we don't talk for a couple of months anyway but one of us, usually me but sometimes him, gives in. Then it's just the cycle of anger again
    Well let that be your goal today, block his number, delete it, block him from FB, twitter, delete his email address, get rid of any mutual friends you have on FB you dont talk to anymore to prevent his face popping up. YOu will eventually feel so much better and doing all that is so empowering.
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    Well let that be your goal today, block his number, delete it, block him from FB, twitter, delete his email address, get rid of any mutual friends you have on FB you dont talk to anymore to prevent his face popping up. YOu will eventually feel so much better and doing all that is so empowering.
    I only have his number. I don't have any of his friend or anything as that was annoying me and also they were keeping watch over me. I will delete his number though :rolleyes:

    It's just all so hard. I know I shouldn't be communicating with him though especially now I am meeting new new guys and stuff. I am determined to let go of this anger. It must get easier than this with the right steps. I have overcome feeling the worst I have ever felt, just for some reason the final step seems so hard. But I am sure it can be done. I just want it over with now. It's tedious.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I only have his number. I don't have any of his friend or anything as that was annoying me and also they were keeping watch over me. I will delete his number though :rolleyes:

    It's just all so hard. I know I shouldn't be communicating with him though especially now I am meeting new new guys and stuff. I am determined to let go of this anger. It must get easier than this with the right steps. I have overcome feeling the worst I have ever felt, just for some reason the final step seems so hard. But I am sure it can be done. I just want it over with now. It's tedious.
    You owe it to yourself to just get rid of him and concentrate on living your own life.
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    You owe it to yourself to just get rid of him and concentrate on living your own life.
    That's actually a really nice thing to say, thank you I have never looked at it like that
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's actually a really nice thing to say, thank you I have never looked at it like that
    Like i said, i have been there.

    "Holding a grudge is like allowing someone to live in your head, rent free"
 
 
 
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