I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months now and we're going to be moving in together very soon. We're really happy together though we've had some ups and downs like everyone else but we really get on well and don't argue much at all. We've talked about us and where we're heading and we both are in this for the long haul and want to set up our lives together. Thing is we both have kind of different views on what life that'll be. I want to get married have kids and all that stuff and I've known that since I was little. He's not so sure about it though he's said kids one day when he's ready which is fair enough I feel the same no rush there. Marriage is different though. For me marriage is important and it's a step I'd want to take but for him it's not really that important it's just expensive and doesn't change anything.
I'm 2 years older (I'm 25 he's 23) and I think that it probably makes a big difference. I look around me and loads of my friends are getting married and having kids and that seems like a long long way off for us yet and I don't want it to be that long though I don't want it right this instant either. I'd like to know that's where we are headed though and it's not 5-10 years down the line either. It's just so frustrating! Anyone else found themselves in a similar position? Any advice?
TLDR: I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 23. I want to get married in the next couple of years and he doesn't see the point in marriage. He wants to move in together and then just stay like that really and I want more. Feel frustrated and looking for advice.
Different views on our future Watch
- 02-04-2013 15:49
- 02-04-2013 16:04
I feel like a complete traitor to the feminist cause here but if you want to marry him don't agree to move in. Once he has the situation he wants, why would he have any impetus to change?
In any case I wouldn't move in with him until we had had that conversation and I had pinned him down to whether he wanted it or not. Otherwise you might just drift on for years this way.
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- 02-04-2013 16:22
I want to move in together though. We couldn't afford to get married now and I'm not sure that I want to get married just yet but I do in the not too distant future. Apparently he sees getting engaged as something for when you've been together 4 or so years but when you then have to save for a wedding that makes it a long way off.
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- 02-04-2013 16:32
I wouldn't move in with him without finding out exactly what he thinks about marriage. There's no point in encouraging a situation you're unhappy with.
- 02-04-2013 19:20
I kinda view marriage the same as your boyfriend. However I know it is very important to some people and if the person I was going to spend my life with felt that way I would do it for them. Try and talk to him about it from that perspective, ok its not important to him but it is to you and he loves you and wants to have his life with you so can't he do this for you.
- 02-04-2013 23:29
I think he's like you boba he doesn't think much of it but he would for my sake but when the time was 'right'. Who knows when that would be though.
- 03-04-2013 14:26