Its soemthing that is so small and silly yet really bugs me. My boyfriend of over a 18 months cleaned out his room about 7 months ago, he hasnt cleaned out since he broke up with his long term ex 2 and a half years ago.
He kept things like valatines cards from her, he said he wouldnt show me becuase they be wierd but he's kept them all with all her soppy love notes, he kept the photo book she made to try win him back, i have no issues with the photobook as i understsand they were in love and its sentimental.
However the thing that really bugs me is a stupid little keyring, its off them at the themepark kissing on a rollercoaster. He's lef it on his side table for over 7 months, its a bit wierd and off putting to see this girls face as its on my side of the bed where i put all my stuff, its just odd when i wake up in the night to get a drink of water and its there or even after sex when i have to put my watch on and i have to see it. I asked him why he kept it and he just blanked me, i put it in the draw and the next week it was back on the side. Part of me just wants to chuck it in the bin but i know i have no right too.
I dont mind photos of them like sentimental important stuff but keeping a keyring on the bedside table of her when weve been together nearly two years or keeping her valatine cards with my valatine cards just bugs me a bit maybe im over reacting though?
Would you be bothered by your partner having a picture of their ex still? Watch
- Thread Starter
- 02-04-2013 19:21
- 02-04-2013 19:32
First of all, don't throw it away. That'd be the worst thing you could do and you'd seem like a bunny boiler.
But I don't think you're in the wrong here. Personally I keep all things from my ex in my cupboard or somewhere else out of view, which I think most people would do. I don't think him keeping the Valentines cards is a bad thing, but keeping them with the ones from you is a bit weird. But the fact he has a keyring with a PHOTO of them two KISSING on his TABLE is too far in my opinion.
Just ask him about it. If he blanks you, then just get his attention because it's completely rude of him to ignore you like that.
- 02-04-2013 20:20
I used to have the same problem from my boyfriend, who is now my husband. I used to get annoyed with him for keeping things like photos, gifts, books from his ex gfs but I slowly found out it wasn't worth getting upset about this because:
1)most men cannot tidy up or can't organise these things so they just leave it like that.
2)they didn't mean to keep it as a treasure but they want to prioritise their time in doing more important things than cleaning up stuff from their ex gfs.
3)they aren't any emotional about those things anymore
So, no need to worry. Just ignore those things and give importance to your relationship.Last edited by Sarjana; 02-04-2013 at 20:22.
- 02-04-2013 20:25
Yes I would be annoyed.
I still have pics of my ex about the flat cos we lived together for 2 years, you've reminded me I need to get rid of those...
- 02-04-2013 20:27
No it wouldn't really bother me, generally you are with someone because you shared happy memories and it was a good part of your life, why would you throw or hide all memories of that away?
- 02-04-2013 20:42
No. They were a big part of their life and will always be a part of it whether their is visual evidence or not and that's fine.
Just ask him about it and then go from there based on his answer. Only you know whether you can live with it or not.
- 02-04-2013 20:50
I wouldn't be annoyed if he kept things, especially sentimental things, but as you've said, put them away somewhere. The fact that the keyring is on the side would annoy me. If its really bugging you, bring it up again! He should definitely be happy to put it away somewhere, its his ex, and you're way more important than her. How would he feel? Just ask him to put it away, if he doesn't, then you can question him...