Used and Abused...

Hi everyone.

I could really do with a chat or just a friendly ear I think. I am a 23 year old female. When I was in my last year of university, I started to date a guy from back home who I met at the supermarket I worked at. I guess some would say it was meant to go wrong from the start as a week after we started dating, I found out he actually had a fiance with the venue booked and everything. He made her out to be a psycho to me and he essentially dumped her for me.

Anyway, things were great but like anything, it turned out to be the most craziest two and a half years of my life. I did everything for this guy - treated him with care and respect. In turn, he cheated on me with a prositute, shouted at me, locked me in rooms. What is even worse is that I let him treat me so badly and I would have sex with him on demand and I would always take him back. Anyway, in the summer just gone, I had failed in many jobs. I am an intelligent person and I couldn't hold down any jobs because he would also do things like argue with me when I was at work and things. So in September I entered a teaching training course (where I am now practically a qualified secondary school teacher).

In November, he rang me up and said he had booked flights to Australia and he wanted to travel for a year. (Bear in mind he has no qualifications, aspirations or anything). He dumped me and he refused to speak to me until he left. Later on that week, (about three days later) he rang me up saying he was coming back from Australia as he couldn't handle it out there. (Honestly 3 DAYS). He did go to Australia as well because I saw pictures of it on Facebook. Anyway, because I am such a mug when he came back I fell into bed with him in a heartbeat. I just really missed him and wanted to take care of him. But he was seeming distant and almost like he was fed up with me. Then, a couple of weeks after (end of January) he completely stopped talking to me and he changed his number.

Now he has a 16 year old girlfriend, (he is 24). I know as a teacher now this isn't how I should feel but I feel so incredibly screwed up. I feel that he is happy and I am just sat here in plain misery. I am on anti-depressants and the only thing at the moment keeping me going is my teacher training course - but I even feel like a failure at that.

It is killing me inside knowing that a young girl is out there and he will end up probably treating her the same. I have seen on Facebook (due to extensive stalking), that she calls him her "amazing boyfriend" etc. I don't know what to do. As bad as it sounds, I miss him so much. A part of me even wants him back. I am scared he will lead a happy life and he won't receive any karma for what he has done to me. I used to be such a confident person but now I am just lost inside.

Can anyone give me any advice please?

Hi everyone.

I could really do with a chat or just a friendly ear I think. I am a 23 year old female. When I was in my last year of university, I started to date a guy from back home who I met at the supermarket I worked at. I guess some would say it was meant to go wrong from the start as a week after we started dating, I found out he actually had a fiance with the venue booked and everything. He made her out to be a psycho to me and he essentially dumped her for me.

Anyway, things were great but like anything, it turned out to be the most craziest two and a half years of my life. I did everything for this guy - treated him with care and respect. In turn, he cheated on me with a prositute, shouted at me, locked me in rooms. What is even worse is that I let him treat me so badly and I would have sex with him on demand and I would always take him back. Anyway, in the summer just gone, I had failed in many jobs. I am an intelligent person and I couldn't hold down any jobs because he would also do things like argue with me when I was at work and things. So in September I entered a teaching training course (where I am now practically a qualified secondary school teacher).

In November, he rang me up and said he had booked flights to Australia and he wanted to travel for a year. (Bear in mind he has no qualifications, aspirations or anything). He dumped me and he refused to speak to me until he left. Later on that week, (about three days later) he rang me up saying he was coming back from Australia as he couldn't handle it out there. (Honestly 3 DAYS). He did go to Australia as well because I saw pictures of it on Facebook. Anyway, because I am such a mug when he came back I fell into bed with him in a heartbeat. I just really missed him and wanted to take care of him. But he was seeming distant and almost like he was fed up with me. Then, a couple of weeks after (end of January) he completely stopped talking to me and he changed his number.

Now he has a 16 year old girlfriend, (he is 24). I know as a teacher now this isn't how I should feel but I feel so incredibly screwed up. I feel that he is happy and I am just sat here in plain misery. I am on anti-depressants and the only thing at the moment keeping me going is my teacher training course - but I even feel like a failure at that.

It is killing me inside knowing that a young girl is out there and he will end up probably treating her the same. I have seen on Facebook (due to extensive stalking), that she calls him her "amazing boyfriend" etc. I don't know what to do. As bad as it sounds, I miss him so much. A part of me even wants him back. I am scared he will lead a happy life and he won't receive any karma for what he has done to me. I used to be such a confident person but now I am just lost inside.

Can anyone give me any advice please?

Hi everyone.

I could really do with a chat or just a friendly ear I think. I am a 23 year old female. When I was in my last year of university, I started to date a guy from back home who I met at the supermarket I worked at. I guess some would say it was meant to go wrong from the start as a week after we started dating, I found out he actually had a fiance with the venue booked and everything. He made her out to be a psycho to me and he essentially dumped her for me.

Anyway, things were great but like anything, it turned out to be the most craziest two and a half years of my life. I did everything for this guy - treated him with care and respect. In turn, he cheated on me with a prositute, shouted at me, locked me in rooms. What is even worse is that I let him treat me so badly and I would have sex with him on demand and I would always take him back. Anyway, in the summer just gone, I had failed in many jobs. I am an intelligent person and I couldn't hold down any jobs because he would also do things like argue with me when I was at work and things. So in September I entered a teaching training course (where I am now practically a qualified secondary school teacher).

In November, he rang me up and said he had booked flights to Australia and he wanted to travel for a year. (Bear in mind he has no qualifications, aspirations or anything). He dumped me and he refused to speak to me until he left. Later on that week, (about three days later) he rang me up saying he was coming back from Australia as he couldn't handle it out there. (Honestly 3 DAYS). He did go to Australia as well because I saw pictures of it on Facebook. Anyway, because I am such a mug when he came back I fell into bed with him in a heartbeat. I just really missed him and wanted to take care of him. But he was seeming distant and almost like he was fed up with me. Then, a couple of weeks after (end of January) he completely stopped talking to me and he changed his number.

Now he has a 16 year old girlfriend, (he is 24). I know as a teacher now this isn't how I should feel but I feel so incredibly screwed up. I feel that he is happy and I am just sat here in plain misery. I am on anti-depressants and the only thing at the moment keeping me going is my teacher training course - but I even feel like a failure at that.

It is killing me inside knowing that a young girl is out there and he will end up probably treating her the same. I have seen on Facebook (due to extensive stalking), that she calls him her "amazing boyfriend" etc. I don't know what to do. As bad as it sounds, I miss him so much. A part of me even wants him back. I am scared he will lead a happy life and he won't receive any karma for what he has done to me. I used to be such a confident person but now I am just lost inside.

Can anyone give me any advice please?

Hi everyone.

I could really do with a chat or just a friendly ear I think. I am a 23 year old female. When I was in my last year of university, I started to date a guy from back home who I met at the supermarket I worked at. I guess some would say it was meant to go wrong from the start as a week after we started dating, I found out he actually had a fiance with the venue booked and everything. He made her out to be a psycho to me and he essentially dumped her for me.

Women...

Such ****ing mugs.

For once in your life, use your brain when considering relationships! A lot of girls need to stop "following their heart" all the time...

This was a disaster waiting to happen. You say you were used and abused, but this could have been avoided if you used your damn brain.

Right, putting on my nice face; Kick him out of your life. Permanently.

Learn from this mistake, next time you're in a **** relationship, engage brain and get the **** out fast.

He will not change, and will continue to flutter between girls, screwing them over. He is a ****.

Do not tarnish all men under this slime-balls brush. Take up a hobby that you've wanted to do, but haven't gotten round to yet. It'll take your mind off the situation, and put you in a better place.

All the best on your teacher training course.

OP, I'm around the same age as you and although I've never been in a relationship like yours, my dad was like that.

My mum was with him for more than 20 years and she left him about a year ago. She found it very difficult to cope with things but there was a book about abusive men in relationships that REALLY helped her when she read it. Not sure if it would help you but if you want it I can PM you what it's called.

Edit: forgot to mention that a lot of people in your situation don't think that this is abuse, but it essentially does count as abuse in many standards.

THIS! I don't even see why anyone would neg him for speaking the absolute truth. What the hell is wrong with you OP?

I am not a troll and no i haven't given anyone a neg rep...i just want to get myself out of the rut I am in actually and need support

Have you talked to your friends about it? OR have you alienated them?

not i did not alienate them - i just keep myself to myself

Well...that is a good thing. Some people cut out their friends because of a relationship. Maybe this is a time not to keep it to you. If you don't want to talk to your friend then you can always use a professional.

It will take you a long time to get over him. You need to build up your self esteem so you don't have self worth so low that you want to go back such a douche.