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    So yeah basically just what the title says. Ive found a way to get accommodation without a guarantor but my parents are firmly against me moving out. They're acting as if Im moving out because I don't like living at home when really I want to move out:

    - To be independent
    - To have my own space
    - To have fun living with my friends
    - Living in the real world so I know how to cope when I finish uni

    Lots of my friends say Im an adult now and I dont need their permission but I really dont want to fall out with them....Advice?
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    (Original post by hoggjz000)
    So yeah basically just what the title says. Ive found a way to get accommodation without a guarantor but my parents are firmly against me moving out. They're acting as if Im moving out because I don't like living at home when really I want to move out:

    - To be independent
    - To have my own space
    - To have fun living with my friends
    - Living in the real world so I know how to cope when I finish uni

    Lots of my friends say Im an adult now and I dont need their permission but I really dont want to fall out with them....Advice?
    so what happens when you try to explain that you're moving out because of those reasons?
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    (Original post by Acruzen)
    so what happens when you try to explain that you're moving out because of those reasons?
    They don't listen...they just act really hurt :/ and like where Im living isnt good enough. Their main argument is money but I have a job now and I have the whole summer to save.
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    (Original post by hoggjz000)
    So yeah basically just what the title says. Ive found a way to get accommodation without a guarantor but my parents are firmly against me moving out. They're acting as if Im moving out because I don't like living at home when really I want to move out:

    - To be independent
    - To have my own space
    - To have fun living with my friends
    - Living in the real world so I know how to cope when I finish uni

    Lots of my friends say Im an adult now and I dont need their permission but I really dont want to fall out with them....Advice?
    Your points are the exact reason why you should be able to move out. You need to be able to achieve independence away from your parents! Living on your own with friends is very different, and enjoyable for most! I hope you get to move out and enjoy yourself!
    P.s. Moving out should not infringe on your relationship at all, it is just the way life goes! I have an incredible relationship with my parents and I live in a different country to them, and will most likely never live in the same one as them again!
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    (Original post by hoggjz000)
    They don't listen...they just act really hurt :/ and like where Im living isnt good enough. Their main argument is money but I have a job now and I have the whole summer to save.
    Hm, sounds like they're a bit like my parents, already made up their minds and are probably not going to change their minds . I assume you're going to be a first year, so maybe explain that (all) most first years live in halls, and that to mix with new people is almost impossible if you don't live near them.
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    (Original post by Acruzen)
    Hm, sounds like they're a bit like my parents, already made up their minds and are probably not going to change their minds . I assume you're going to be a first year, so maybe explain that (all) most first years live in halls, and that to mix with new people is almost impossible if you don't live near them.
    Haha yeah my parents are very very stubborn :L once they decide on something nothing u do can change their minds :L No im going in to second year and wanted to move in with some of my friends I had met in my first year.
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    (Original post by ANB1993)
    Your points are the exact reason why you should be able to move out. You need to be able to achieve independence away from your parents! Living on your own with friends is very different, and enjoyable for most! I hope you get to move out and enjoy yourself!
    P.s. Moving out should not infringe on your relationship at all, it is just the way life goes! I have an incredible relationship with my parents and I live in a different country to them, and will most likely never live in the same one as them again!
    Exactly how I feel! :P thank u but moving out looks very unlikely now My mum says im going against her wishes and advice and will end up in a tonne of debt so if I move out its gonna look like im just brushing her to the side :C
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    (Original post by hoggjz000)
    Exactly how I feel! :P thank u but moving out looks very unlikely now My mum says im going against her wishes and advice and will end up in a tonne of debt so if I move out its gonna look like im just brushing her to the side :C
    I know it may be hard to go against their wishes now, but you will regret it if you do not do what YOU want to do. Your parents will understand in the long run, I guarantee. You have to learn to stand on your own two feet, and living with new people in first year is the best way to make new friends and learn!
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    (Original post by ANB1993)
    I know it may be hard to go against their wishes now, but you will regret it if you do not do what YOU want to do. Your parents will understand in the long run, I guarantee. You have to learn to stand on your own two feet, and living with new people in first year is the best way to make new friends and learn!
    But what if things dont work out and I do mess things up? and they wont let me come home or help me out?

    Or what if we do fall out big style? Im really close with my mum and I dont want to mess that up :/
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    (Original post by hoggjz000)
    So yeah basically just what the title says. Ive found a way to get accommodation without a guarantor but my parents are firmly against me moving out. They're acting as if Im moving out because I don't like living at home when really I want to move out:

    - To be independent
    - To have my own space
    - To have fun living with my friends
    - Living in the real world so I know how to cope when I finish uni

    Lots of my friends say Im an adult now and I dont need their permission but I really dont want to fall out with them....Advice?
    I'm assuming your parents want grandkids? Because you can always try the argument of how are you going to be able to look after any kids you have in the future if you never learn to look after yourself independently? How are you ever going to have grandkids if you can't move out and won't be able to have any space with a future partner?

    And is it not better to move out now when everyone at university is living on their own, so you can get the support you need from your parents, your friends, and your university? It's better now than later...

    Hope you can persuade them
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    (Original post by hoggjz000)
    But what if things dont work out and I do mess things up? and they wont let me come home or help me out?

    Or what if we do fall out big style? Im really close with my mum and I dont want to mess that up :/
    You won't mess them up though! I honestly do think you should do what you want.
    You could sit them down and start off by telling them that you have made a decision to move into uni accommodation (or whatever you are moving into). Then explain that you are doing it for the reasons you stated and explain to them that it will not change your relationship and that you love them and all of that, reassuring them.
    However, only you know if your parents will take it really to heart and fall out!
    My friend had the same problem and told them it was something he had to do. However they did get over it and have a close relationship now after realising it was best for her!
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    (Original post by SaySaam)
    I'm assuming your parents want grandkids? Because you can always try the argument of how are you going to be able to look after any kids you have in the future if you never learn to look after yourself independently? How are you ever going to have grandkids if you can't move out and won't be able to have any space with a future partner?

    And is it not better to move out now when everyone at university is living on their own, so you can get the support you need from your parents, your friends, and your university? It's better now than later...

    Hope you can persuade them
    Thank you They've got like three other kids :L I'm sure their pretty certain their gonna be grandparents. They keep coming up with the same argument about money but everytime I tell them that I have a job they say yeah but how long will that last? I know I can cope but they just wont listen...
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    (Original post by ANB1993)
    You won't mess them up though! I honestly do think you should do what you want.
    You could sit them down and start off by telling them that you have made a decision to move into uni accommodation (or whatever you are moving into). Then explain that you are doing it for the reasons you stated and explain to them that it will not change your relationship and that you love them and all of that, reassuring them.
    However, only you know if your parents will take it really to heart and fall out!
    My friend had the same problem and told them it was something he had to do. However they did get over it and have a close relationship now after realising it was best for her!
    U really give amazing advice I think once I move out and a little time has gone past my parents will realize that I am able to cope and things will be fine but I really dont want to have to deal with the bit thats inbetween. All the fighting an tears.... I'll have to try and convince them again but I think their tired of this conversation. Its something I really want but Im on the verge of giving up :C
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    (Original post by hoggjz000)
    U really give amazing advice I think once I move out and a little time has gone past my parents will realize that I am able to cope and things will be fine but I really dont want to have to deal with the bit thats inbetween. All the fighting an tears.... I'll have to try and convince them again but I think their tired of this conversation. Its something I really want but Im on the verge of giving up :C
    It is hard, no matter what the disagreement with parents is! You can not give up! The only time I would give up is if you think 100% in your heart that you are really going to hurt your parents! Because from what you have said, you would want a good relationship with your parents over moving out this year!
    I know the conversation may get tedious, but it is a big deal for them so everything needs to be talked out!
    If you need any advice just ask! Plenty of people on TSR who are willing
    to help!
    I hope you get what you want!
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    (Original post by ANB1993)
    It is hard, no matter what the disagreement with parents is! You can not give up! The only time I would give up is if you think 100% in your heart that you are really going to hurt your parents! Because from what you have said, you would want a good relationship with your parents over moving out this year!
    I know the conversation may get tedious, but it is a big deal for them so everything needs to be talked out!
    If you need any advice just ask! Plenty of people on TSR who are willing
    to help!
    I hope you get what you want!
    Thank you I'll try again but I think I already know how the conversations gonna go :L
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    It's only out of love and they don't want to see you in unnecessary debt.

    They give advice because that's the only thing they can do for you now that you are an adult.

    Don't see it as though they are trying to 'rain on your parade' but look on it that they just want what is best for you.

    Once you respect their opinions and start to understand why they say and do the things that they do, they will start to realise you are grown up and they will respect your opinions etc.
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    (Original post by xxxxLillyxxxx)
    It's only out of love and they don't want to see you in unnecessary debt.

    They give advice because that's the only thing they can do for you now that you are an adult.

    Don't see it as though they are trying to 'rain on your parade' but look on it that they just want what is best for you.

    Once you respect their opinions and start to understand why they say and do the things that they do, they will start to realise you are grown up and they will respect your opinions etc.
    Thanks for your reply so u think its best if I stay at home?
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    (Original post by xxxxLillyxxxx)
    It's only out of love and they don't want to see you in unnecessary debt.

    They give advice because that's the only thing they can do for you now that you are an adult.

    Don't see it as though they are trying to 'rain on your parade' but look on it that they just want what is best for you.

    Once you respect their opinions and start to understand why they say and do the things that they do, they will start to realise you are grown up and they will respect your opinions etc.
    But also they should respect hers. She is an adult now and just because she disagrees with them and wants something different does not mean she disrespects them.
    They only way people learn is by making their own informed decisions and acting upon them, bearing the consequences.
    However I do agree with your first three paragraphs. And I apologise if that is not what you meant in your final one!
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    (Original post by ANB1993)
    But also they should respect hers. She is an adult now and just because she disagrees with them and wants something different does not mean she disrespects them.
    They only way people learn is by making their own informed decisions and acting upon them, bearing the consequences.
    However I do agree with your first three paragraphs. And I apologise if that is not what you meant in your final one!
    I can see both sides of the argument but unfortunately my parents arent making the effort to look at my side....
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    (Original post by hoggjz000)
    I can see both sides of the argument but unfortunately my parents arent making the effort to look at my side....
    An unorthodox method would be to show your parents this thread haha with everyone's opinions!
 
 
 
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