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Are you gay but have ever felt that you don't want to be? watch

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    I'm not sure whether I'm gay, bisexual or straight. But I'm definitely attracted to the opposite sex, not sure about the same sex. I don't want to be gay though, gay sexual acts don't appeal to me in my mind although they make me aroused. I want to be in a relationship and have kids with a woman. I also feel that telling people or being gay would be shameful upon me, I know in society it isn't but I just don't want to be.

    Has anyone ever had this feeling?
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    Erm, no.
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    Yeah, I'm bi and when I first thought that I might not be straight I felt exactly like that.
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    (Original post by The*****Of96)
    Yeah, I'm bi and when I first thought that I might not be straight I felt exactly like that.
    I made a typo and I meant I'm attracted to the same sex and I'm not sure about the opposite sex.

    How did you end up figuring out your orientation? I feel like I'm gay but I want to be with a woman but it's impossible because I'm gay but I don't even know if I like the opposite sex.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure whether I'm gay, bisexual or straight. But I'm definitely attracted to the opposite sex, not sure about the same sex. I don't want to be gay though, gay sexual acts don't appeal to me in my mind although they make me aroused. I want to be in a relationship and have kids with a woman. I also feel that telling people or being gay would be shameful upon me, I know in society it isn't but I just don't want to be.

    Has anyone ever had this feeling?
    Da*** did I just read.
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    Yes. People are raised with the expectation they will be straight, marry, have children etc etc. So it's fairly normal for gay/bi people to feel like there is something not quite right about themselves. Not everyone, but I've certainly heard it from a few.

    I have felt like that, but then I didn't even know about homosexuality/bisexuality for a long time. As far as I knew, boys liked girls and girls liked boys. My parents/school never told me that this didn't apply to everyone, so I grew up feeling very guilty about my attraction to women, like there was something wrong with me.

    If you're attracted to the opposite sex, then you are not gay. From what you've said, it sounds like you're probably bisexual. You shouldn't worry about it though. It's just a label. In time, you'll figure out what your sexual orientation is with the help of experience.
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    You would know if you were simply gay, you may just have a bit of bi in you alot of men secretly find certain men attractive but dont think of them sexually.
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    (Original post by The*****Of96)
    Yeah, I'm bi and when I first thought that I might not be straight I felt exactly like that.
    I'm in the same boat.

    It's perfectly normal to feel like that when you question your sexuality. You don't have to be both romantically and sexually attracted to both sexes if you're bi; I would prefer to have a relationship with a girl, and prefer sex with a guy, but I'm definitely bisexual. You don't have to be attracted to both genders equally.

    That said, if you don't actually like thinking about things like gay sex, there's a reasonable chance you aren't really sexually attracted to guys. I'm not quite sure why you are aroused while not wanting to fantasise about it, though.
    Perhaps it's even the other way around - you can't help being aroused by guys, but because you want to be straight, you don't allow yourself to want to fantasise about such things. (Subconsciously)

    You may be bisexual, you may be straight. You certainly aren't gay. But whatever the case, ultimately you can't decide your sexuality, so in the end you will probably find that it's best to be honest, otherwise it will be eating away at you until you are truthful to yourself.
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    I'm in the same boat.

    It's perfectly normal to feel like that when you question your sexuality. You don't have to be both romantically and sexually attracted to both sexes if you're bi; I would prefer to have a relationship with a girl, and prefer sex with a guy, but I'm definitely bisexual. You don't have to be attracted to both genders equally.

    That said, if you don't actually like thinking about things like gay sex, there's a reasonable chance you aren't really sexually attracted to guys. I'm not quite sure why you are aroused while not wanting to fantasise about it, though.
    Perhaps it's even the other way around - you can't help being aroused by guys, but because you want to be straight, you don't allow yourself to want to fantasise about such things. (Subconsciously)

    You may be bisexual, you may be straight. You certainly aren't gay. But whatever the case, ultimately you can't decide your sexuality, so in the end you will probably find that it's best to be honest, otherwise it will be eating away at you until you are truthful to yourself.
    I feel that I want to be in relationships with a girl, and want to have sex with her because what gay people do sexually seems disgusting to me, no offence to anyone who likes to do it, it just isn't for me and doesn't appeal to me. Even though, I find men attractive. So I'm kind of on the fence.

    I can allow myself to like other people having gay sex but when I think about being gay with a man it seems wrong to do or something I definitely wouldn't want to do.

    Most people I've asked anon online have said time will tell but it's itching me until I find an answer to what I am. Right now I think I'm bi and I'm ok with that but I'm still unsure.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I made a typo and I meant I'm attracted to the same sex and I'm not sure about the opposite sex.

    How did you end up figuring out your orientation? I feel like I'm gay but I want to be with a woman but it's impossible because I'm gay but I don't even know if I like the opposite sex.
    I don't know, I mean I guess I just thought about all the people I've had genuine feelings for, and accepted that they were both males and females. It took me ages to really accept it though, so don't rush it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel that I want to be in relationships with a girl, and want to have sex with her because what gay people do sexually seems disgusting to me, no offence to anyone who likes to do it, it just isn't for me and doesn't appeal to me. Even though, I find men attractive. So I'm kind of on the fence.

    I can allow myself to like other people having gay sex but when I think about being gay with a man it seems wrong to do or something I definitely wouldn't want to do.

    Most people I've asked anon online have said time will tell but it's itching me until I find an answer to what I am. Right now I think I'm bi and I'm ok with that but I'm still unsure.
    I think one of the key things here is what you mean when you say you want a relationship and sex with a woman. If you simply want to be a man in a heterosexual relationship, then you may not actually be attracted to girls. That is to say, you could desire it due to wanting to be normal, while not actually being attracted to women themselves.

    There are two types of attraction: romantic and sexual.
    It's easy to tell sexual attraction - do you get aroused by women? Do you masturbate/fantasise sexually over girls?
    Or are you fantasising over the idea of being a heterosexual man instead? The two are rather different.

    The romantic one is a little trickier; in this case, it's a matter of whether you want to be in a
    relationship with a girl or whether you want to be someone in a heterosexual relationship.

    If what I've said makes no sense, I guess what I'm asking is this:
    Are you attracted to girls, or are you attracted to the idea of being attracted to girls?

    To me, from what you've said, you seem like a bisexual. You might be finding the idea of gay sex repulsive because of society,or you may just be straight.

    This post is probably a bit too long, but I hope it gives you a bit of help in figuring out what your sexuality is.

    And please try to use a word/phrase other than 'wrong' when referring to gay sex - we aren't immoral!

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