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    We have been fighting a lot recently, and have recently made up. I went out tonight and she asked me to call her no matter how late I got home, so I did, the conversation lasted a good 20-30 mins, and then as there was not much left to talk about, and I want to be up in the morning to go to the gym, I said that I was going to go...

    ...This is when she gets annoyed, and puts me on a guilt trip, asking me not to go to the gym tommorrow so we can talk longer on the phone... I told her I would call in the afternoon when we are both more awake but she still was not happy.

    This kind of thing happens really often. She seems to get annoyed at me easily, pick fights often, and then throws me into guilt trips like tonight when I have plans for my own life. Dont know what to do.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We have been fighting a lot recently, and have recently made up. I went out tonight and she asked me to call her no matter how late I got home, so I did, the conversation lasted a good 20-30 mins, and then as there was not much left to talk about, and I want to be up in the morning to go to the gym, I said that I was going to go...

    ...This is when she gets annoyed, and puts me on a guilt trip, asking me not to go to the gym tommorrow so we can talk longer on the phone... I told her I would call in the afternoon when we are both more awake but she still was not happy.

    This kind of thing happens really often. She seems to get annoyed at me easily, pick fights often, and then throws me into guilt trips like tonight when I have plans for my own life. Dont know what to do.
    Don't let her run your life, frankly it is stupid that she is trying to guilt trip you Don't let her do that, if you want to go to the gym, do it. If she don't like it, then she don't deserve you. She sounds a very difficult person.
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    Why can't you just stay on the phone with her tonight? It's not going to be impossible for you to get up for the gym tomorrow, you can still go, you'll just get less sleep, it's better than not going at all.

    You said there was nothing left to talk about, so what's the point of being on the phone with her?


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    (Original post by RemiMarcelle)
    Why can't you just stay on the phone with her tonight? It's not going to be impossible for you to get up for the gym tomorrow, you can still go, you'll just get less sleep, it's better than not going at all.

    You said there was nothing left to talk about, so what's the point of being on the phone with her?


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    We had already spoken for around half an hour, the reason there was nothing to talk about was mainly why i left. The gym thing is a minor factor, but if it wasnt for that i would have tried to keep it going, almost out of fear of the inevitble guilt trip when i say i am going.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Don't let her run your life, frankly it is stupid that she is trying to guilt trip you Don't let her do that, if you want to go to the gym, do it. If she don't like it, then she don't deserve you. She sounds a very difficult person.

    Thank you I needed to hear that from someone who wasnt me, thought I was being the difficult person thinking like that lol
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    She sounds a bit clingy and needy tbh. How do i know? Because i was in a very similar relationship at one point.

    In a relationship, it is important you bth have your own lives. You rang her tonight when you got in, you kept your word, and you talked for 30 mins.

    Explain to her you have other things in your life and although she is important, you need to go to sleep so you can get up and do the gym etc. Be firm, but assertive.

    If she goes in a mood, dont go chasing her, as she is in the wrong, not you.
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    Yeah, as a couple of other people alluded to, you just kinda need to be strong sometimes. You'd already made a massive concession to your evening by spending half an hour talking to her for whatever reason (perhaps she's a little paranoid about you not being with her?), to expect anything further is pretty uncool.

    Maintain what you do, as soon as you start to slip into always trying to please her, you'll find that it'll actually be fruitless. It seems counter-intuitive, but sometimes girlfriends are made happiest by having boyfriends who just have their own stuff going on. Make time for her, of course. Just make sure it's that way round, not you having to make time from her to do other things. Guilt trips don't work, and won't continue, if she thinks you're oblivious to them
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    Where exactly does the 'guilt trip' come into this?

    As far as I've read, she's just asked you to forfeit some time to talk to her, probably because she feels vulnerable or needs you.

    I don't see how that's 'guilt tripping'.
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    (Original post by Friar Chris)
    Where exactly does the 'guilt trip' come into this?

    As far as I've read, she's just asked you to forfeit some time to talk to her, probably because she feels vulnerable or needs you.

    I don't see how that's 'guilt tripping'.
    That it's about 2:30 in the morning when he's just back from a night out and still she won't let him off the phone to go to sleep. It is controlling behaviour from her, OP, and she needs to be put right. My girlfriend can also be needy as I live abroad at the moment. Obviously you have to make allowances in that sort of situation and I talk to her and reassure her that she need not be insecure. You can do this once or twice but if she carries on it's getting a bit beyond a joke.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We have been fighting a lot recently, and have recently made up. I went out tonight and she asked me to call her no matter how late I got home, so I did, the conversation lasted a good 20-30 mins, and then as there was not much left to talk about, and I want to be up in the morning to go to the gym, I said that I was going to go...

    ...This is when she gets annoyed, and puts me on a guilt trip, asking me not to go to the gym tommorrow so we can talk longer on the phone... I told her I would call in the afternoon when we are both more awake but she still was not happy.

    This kind of thing happens really often. She seems to get annoyed at me easily, pick fights often, and then throws me into guilt trips like tonight when I have plans for my own life. Dont know what to do.
    I reckon she could be depressed - a friend of mine had a girlfriend like this and she was diagnosed with depression.

    She could be just so scared to lose you that she's pushing you away and is fighting for every minute of your attention, which isn't healthy.

    Maybe you could talk to her about it? Try and explain to her that she's pushing you away and that it'd make you happy if you could have time to see your friends and have your own plans etc. She might get a bit mad but I think she just needs some patience. There could be an underlying problem here.
 
 
 
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