So, basically I was with my ex boyfriend for a couple of years and he broke up with me suddenly and didn't give me many reasons, just that he wanted to be single and of course he said he still wanted to be friends. We tried the friends thing for a while but we just ended up sleeping together because he said he still had feelings for me and I always got hurt because of it. I've asked him to leave me alone many times because I am trying to move on and I couldn't do that whilst he was confusing me by claiming to love me but not want to be together.
He would usually go around one week without contacting me, then begin calling and texting saying that he needed to talk to me and he missed me and he wouldn't stop doing this until I responded. He tells me that he doesn't trust anybody else and that he can't talk to anyone properly, only me.
We have the same circle of friends so we see each other regularly, he goes through phases of talking to me and phases of ignoring me and I am at the end of my tether now. I just need to know if what he feels for me is real, and if he can see us getting back together.
Part of me thinks he is just scared, he hasn't had any sexual experience outside of me and I think he wants to know what it's like. But he won't let me go, which makes me think he might be unsure of his decision still. He goes crazy when we don't talk and says he can't cope with not being my friend.
I still love him, it's been a few months since the break up and I would like to give it another shot. Everyone around us can't see why we aren't still together, and I don't understand what his problem is.
Just looking for any advice really?
Ex Boyfriend Situation Watch
- Thread Starter
- 04-04-2013 16:20
- 04-04-2013 19:01
When you broke up, did he give any reasons why other then wanting to be single? Right now he is having his cake and eating it: contacting you when he needs you, and sleeping with you too. This obviously isn't fair on you. Tell him that it's either a relationship or nothing.
You need to talk to him! Explain to him that what he's doing now isn't fair on either of you, as you both aren't able to move on. If he wants to get back together that's great, but if not, he has to respect you and keep his distance. I know that you're both in the same friendship group but if he doesn't want a relationship with you, you should cut contact. It will make the moving on process much easier for both of you.
- Thread Starter
- 05-04-2013 01:23
Thank you for the advice, I've found it hard to talk to him about how I still feel about him as I didn't want to scare him away. But I agree, I need to be honest with him.
Thankyou for the advice!
- 05-04-2013 12:29
Sounds like he has trust issues maybe he wants the best of both worlds, probably wants to have sex with you still and maybe others, but also doesn't want you to move on because probably doesn't like the fact of you being with someone else sexually, which is common.
I would personally delete everything of him, fb, number etc and just move on and then you wont have to deal with this s*** any more, sounds like you are being played and I believe he says he loves you etc still is so that you stay his and remain his, hence why he gets mad when you don't talk to him.
That's my view anyway.
- 06-04-2013 00:17
Agree with the "he is having his cake and eating it too" comment.
It sums it up, really.
Make an ultimatum. Either he is with you proper, or he isnt.
None of this in between business.