Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I am a guy and just wondering how people go about this/how it happens. It never does for me.

    I have had ONS's but I am more thinking has anyone had a mate who then became a **** buddy?

    I am in a long term relationship but it always annoys me how I never did this.

    Every girl I got to know over time, ended up wanting a relationship and it really p****** me off. I had no feelings whatsoever and just wanted to screw lol.

    Am I being harsh on myself or was something missing from my game? I wasn't overly nice otherwise they would wanna be friends I guess.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Bump
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    Most people want a relationship with the person they're repeatedly having sex with. One offs with people you aren't dating are pretty common, but a sustained relationship, where you get to have sex all the time but not commit in any way? You really wonder why that's not happened to you yet? :facepalm:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I have a **** buddy. We were never friends, nor are we really in the same social circle, but we do see each other out and about.

    We first got together in freshers. And as we were in the same halls we just started calling each other when we got back from a night out and sleeping together. We both made it clear from the start neither of us wanted a relationship; we were starting uni of course! And then it just became a habit.

    We have become close over the years. But we're very open about our feelings, and even other relationships we have. And we've said to each other that if we ever develop feelings for each other we'd break it off immediately. We even talk about failed relationships we have. A couple of months ago I was kinda seeing a guy (but not really), and he turned out to be a bit of a **** to me. I told the whole story to my **** buddy (I phoned him up crying about it. Pathetic, I know), and he sure did cheer me up when I went over to his :P

    That's my story. Might not have been yours though. I don't see why you've missed out on having a **** buddy. The only reason I have one, is because I'm not ready nor mature enough for a proper relationship. But you are, you can get everything from a **** buddy relationship and more.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by edithwashere)
    Most people want a relationship with the person they're repeatedly having sex with. One offs with people you aren't dating are pretty common, but a sustained relationship, where you get to have sex all the time but not commit in any way? You really wonder why that's not happened to you yet? :facepalm:
    Not true. There are people in **** buddy situations. Read below you. It does happen.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Mother_Russia)
    I have a **** buddy. We were never friends, nor are we really in the same social circle, but we do see each other out and about.

    We first got together in freshers. And as we were in the same halls we just started calling each other when we got back from a night out and sleeping together. We both made it clear from the start neither of us wanted a relationship; we were starting uni of course! And then it just became a habit.

    We have become close over the years. But we're very open about our feelings, and even other relationships we have. And we've said to each other that if we ever develop feelings for each other we'd break it off immediately.

    That's my story. Might not have been yours though. I don't see why you've missed out on having a **** buddy. The only reason I have one, is because I'm not ready nor mature enough for a proper relationship. But you are, you can get everything from a **** buddy relationship and more.
    Thanks for that! So it was more a random thing and you weren't really that close. Did he initiate it with you first?

    No I do think I have missed out on just having fun. Ok ONS. But to see the same girl for fun regularly and no emotions, i really wanted that.

    I must not be too confident as I am worried I will offend them with this suggestion. I guess I needed to hint more back then. Maybe I lost several chances in the past and they wanted to date which was a big no for me.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for that! So it was more a random thing and you weren't really that close. Did he initiate it with you first?

    No I do think I have missed out on just having fun. Ok ONS. But to see the same girl for fun regularly and no emotions, i really wanted that.

    I must not be too confident as I am worried I will offend them with this suggestion. I guess I needed to hint more back then. Maybe I lost several chances in the past and they wanted to date which was a big no for me.
    To be honest, I can't remember who initiated it. It was 3 years ago! I think we both did, I remember him knocking on my door at 2 in the morning, and I definitely did the same to him.

    It is a tricky one. I am extremely open when it comes to casual sex, but I know other girls might be different. But then, how can a girl think you want anything more if you just sleep with them from a ONS?

    I still don't know why you wouldn't want emotions and sex! Like me and him do talk when we go over to each other's. Frankly, I would be annoyed if he just rolled over after sex and it was a wham, bam, thank you m'am moment. I can get that from ONS's thankyou, and it's not fun.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Mother_Russia)
    To be honest, I can't remember who initiated it. It was 3 years ago! I think we both did, I remember him knocking on my door at 2 in the morning, and I definitely did the same to him.

    It is a tricky one. I am extremely open when it comes to casual sex, but I know other girls might be different. But then, how can a girl think you want anything more if you just sleep with them from a ONS?

    I still don't know why you wouldn't want emotions and sex! Like me and him do talk when we go over to each other's. Frankly, I would be annoyed if he just rolled over after sex and it was a wham, bam, thank you m'am moment. I can get that from ONS's thankyou, and it's not fun.

    Lol I want what you have! Genuine friend/**** buddies! I have been in a intense relationship for many years and I love her. I guess this light hearted stuff I am missing with no attachment to sex. I think I could have had exactly this in the past with someone in particular. We used to flirt, have banter but then she said she is beginning to like me for real. I didn't want anything intense. If only the emotions hadnt progressed on her side!

    Do you or him talk about other people you are sleeping with during this period?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lol I want what you have! Genuine friend/**** buddies! I have been in a intense relationship for many years and I love her. I guess this light hearted stuff I am missing with no attachment to sex. I think I could have had exactly this in the past with someone in particular. We used to flirt, have banter but then she said she is beginning to like me for real. I didn't want anything intense. If only the emotions hadnt progressed on her side!

    Do you or him talk about other people you are sleeping with during this period?
    Yup. Like the time above when I came to his in tears! He knew all about that. And then when I was out one time, and this ******** was out and so was my ****buddy. I just went up to FB and said "he's here", he just made a spectacle of kissing me in front of him :P Might not have done much to him, but it made me feel better in front of that guy :P And he told me about a girl he'd liked for ages, and I gave him advice over her.

    Also, I'd like to make it clear. We're not really friends. We go weeks without talking to each other. And we have this unwritten law where we only call each other after midnight, haha :P

    But you're in a relationship! You've got everything I've got! Plus more!!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Mother_Russia)
    Yup. Like the time above when I came to his in tears! He knew all about that. And then when I was out one time, and this ******** was out and so was my ****buddy. I just went up to FB and said "he's here", he just made a spectacle of kissing me in front of him :P Might not have done much to him, but it made me feel better in front of that guy :P And he told me about a girl he'd liked for ages, and I gave him advice over her.

    Also, I'd like to make it clear. We're not really friends. We go weeks without talking to each other. And we have this unwritten law where we only call each other after midnight, haha :P

    But you're in a relationship! You've got everything I've got! Plus more!!

    Ah I guess the other side that you don't have always seems more attractive. I know I have it all but I guess I have lost some excitement with routine. It sounds like you do are good mates in a weird way, yet you don't talk for weeks! Lol.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not true. There are people in **** buddy situations. Read below you. It does happen.
    I'm well aware, I'm in an open relationship myself. You have to wait for the right person, you can't just expect it to pop up in front of you with some quick fix.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by edithwashere)
    I'm well aware, I'm in an open relationship myself. You have to wait for the right person, you can't just expect it to pop up in front of you with some quick fix.
    As a girl you can pick and choose in this situation. Unlucky for us being labelled as relationship guys
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 5, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.