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Is it normal to be into much older men? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm 18, and I've noticed that the men I'm interested are in their mid-late twenties...or early thirties. I don't have daddy issues, but I'm just not attracted to or interested in men my age or closer to my age.

    I've been speaking to someone who's 30, and am beginning to develop feelings for him and he feels the same way. I'm not sure what to do. Obviously I won'e be having sex with him anytime soon, I'm not stupid. He and I want to go out for coffee soon, and we most likely will.

    Is this normal? Anyone else feel this way?
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    Normal? No. But not being the norm doesn't mean it's a bad thing. If you like him and he likes you, there's no issue.
    • #2
    #2

    I don't think it's any less normal than falling for someone your own age.

    I'm also 18, and have developed feelings for a guy who is nearly 30, and we have acted on those feelings, but haven't felt like this for ALL kinds of older guys, just this particular guy who I have connected with

    If you have a connection, you have a connection. You're 18, it's not illegal or anything so it's cool.
    • #3
    #3

    I think this is more normal than you probably realise.

    A lot of women find the idea of an older man attractive, I suppose it's just frowned up when the girl is still in her teen years especially.

    If a 35 and 45 year old were dating, it's unlikely anyone would really bat an eyelid, but an 18 and a 28 year old will raise a few eyebrows.

    My previous boyfriend was 10 years older than I am and my partner before him was 5 years older than me.

    The only thing you may notice with older men is that they often date younger women for a reason. Men who are in their late twenties/early thirties and date 18/19 year old girls are often very immature or there's some deeper underlying issue, although they may not appear to be immature at first it often shines through with time...

    I'm not saying this is the case for every relationship with a large age gap, but quite often it's because they aren't able to hold down a relationship with someone their own age.

    Anon or delete, thanks.
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    A lot of people associate being into older men with daddy issues. I personally don't think that's the reason. If you do have a strained relationship with your Dad people might just blame it on that.

    How do you think your family would take it ? I wouldn't be happy if my 18 year old sister brought home a 30 year old. I wouldn't intervene because I'm not that kind of person but if he started touching her up in front of me I'd be more likely to say something in this case (I can't explain why but I'm trying to be honest. I can feel the neg coming.)

    Honestly despite the fact that I think the age of consent is fine how it is, seeing couples with a huge difference (that's right couples so save your cries of sexism for someone else) does slightly weird me out. A friend of mine isn't into older men at all but her sister is. She was seeing a 35 year old when she was 21 and her brother kicked off about it. On xmas day he walked out and her Dad had been devastated from the start and finally had enough one day.


    Also the same applies for him. My Mum wouldn't be best pleased if I brought home an 18 year old at 30. Then again what do I know ? Maybe you have a very accepting family and so does he and you can handle any criticism from other parties.
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    if my sister brought home a 30 year old man while she was 18 he would be shown the door, and if that did not work a swift left hook, yes it is strange.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    What would you say the chances of him just wanting sex are lol? I realise it's quite the generalization, but I've grown to like him over the past few days so it would be quite the slap in the face if that's all he was interested in. He does make sexual jokes at times, then again so do I...I just think of it as good fun.

    I'm not really interested in anything very serious, however, I don't want him to think of me as 'easy' because of my age. I'm young, but I have standards and morals. I just want to see how things go without putting a label to anything so soon.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What would you say the chances of him just wanting sex are lol? I realise it's quite the generalization, but I've grown to like him over the past few days so it would be quite the slap in the face if that's all he was interested in. He does make sexual jokes at times, then again so do I...I just think of it as good fun.

    I'm not really interested in anything very serious, however, I don't want him to think of me as 'easy' because of my age. I'm young, but I have standards and morals. I just want to see how things go without putting a label to anything so soon.
    I can speak with authority, as I'm a dirty old man.

    I would rate the chances of his interest in you being sexual as extremely high - close to 100%. Unless he has some kind of weird Batman/Robin mentor complex, there is no reason on earth why he would be forming a relationship with a teenage girl for any other purpose.

    If he knows anything about women, he won't assume that young girls are easy. Quite the opposite. They're a nuisance, a runaround and subject to all kinds of strange ideas. Older women are more upfront and honest - if they want to have sex, they'll more often agree - they're less likely to involve ideas from TV programmes, their friends' emotions or their horoscopes.
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    I'm 21 and I wouldn't even look at an 18 year old seriously. Now for a 30-year old? I guess it all depends on the individual but you're both at very different stages in your lives - but hey it's your life - I have no right to tell you what you can or can't do, you can do whatever the fuarrrkk you wanna do!!

    At 30 I'd be thinking about having kids, and a mortgage etc - there is a high chance he just wants sex. Then again I'm different.... lol

    EDIT: Oh, if you don't want anything serious then I have no complaints dating a 30-year old.
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    normal is non-existent.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    He didn't find out about my age until about two days ago...he was completely shocked as he thought I was in my 20's. He asked me if I'd want to go out for coffee sometime...and thats when I told him my age. I asked him if he wanted to stop speaking and he told me he didn't as he liked me. Since then we've been speaking every day, however, I have been the one initiating the conversation most of the time.

    Ugh, I'm not sure what to make of all of this. It's all very confusing at the moment.
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    Sure.

    I'm into older women too, I find so many girls of our generation irritable and superficial.

    Unfortunately it's much easier and socially acceptable for a younger girl to start a relationship with an older man than vice versa :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 18, and I've noticed that the men I'm interested are in their mid-late twenties...or early thirties. I don't have daddy issues, but I'm just not attracted to or interested in men my age or closer to my age.

    I've been speaking to someone who's 30, and am beginning to develop feelings for him and he feels the same way. I'm not sure what to do. Obviously I won'e be having sex with him anytime soon, I'm not stupid. He and I want to go out for coffee soon, and we most likely will.

    Is this normal? Anyone else feel this way?
    I don't think there are any hard and fast rules. Charles was about 33 when he married 19 yr old Diana (I think). Go for coffee and see where it goes, take it one step at a time.
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    I'm exactly the same. :/
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    Look, young boys play Call of Duty or whatever and shoot each other up for gratification. It's fantasy.

    For a man older than say 35, going out with an 18 year old is like being Keanu Reeves in The Matrix. Instead of being surrounded by office work and stuff, all of a sudden you know kung-fu.

    Not so long ago, I went on a crew date that included a couple of the university netball teams. It was like the internet had invaded reality, and all these awesome girls that are normally only jpegs on TheChive, are in your face in fancy dress.

    In this context, you don't sit there thinking about how great their personalities are, or how many ucas points they have. They either don't realise you're old enough to be your dad, or they think you might have access to some amazingly cool bar that they otherwise won't be going to.
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    Go for it OP.

    Personally I've just gone 24 and even now i prefer girls a couple of years younger than myself, primarily because when you get involved with them they are less prone to talking about marriage and babies and can be fobbed off with a cocktail as opposed to wanting the works.

    I imagine the 30 year olds have a similar mindset.
    • #4
    #4

    OP, that age difference is fine, wouldn't really think anything of it if it works for you. I'm currently involved with a guy 18 years my senior and we are great together. I'm in my mid-twenties, but at 18 you are probably mature enough to know your own mind and what you want
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    Well it isn't completely unheard of....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 18, and I've noticed that the men I'm interested are in their mid-late twenties...or early thirties. I don't have daddy issues, but I'm just not attracted to or interested in men my age or closer to my age.

    I've been speaking to someone who's 30, and am beginning to develop feelings for him and he feels the same way. I'm not sure what to do. Obviously I won'e be having sex with him anytime soon, I'm not stupid. He and I want to go out for coffee soon, and we most likely will.

    Is this normal? Anyone else feel this way?
    I am in high school and i've dated 2 college guys, there is like 3 or 4 years of age difference, but i believe it is alright if you know how to handle it? There are no judgements when it comes to feelings, unless the aggressive part comes out. Haha.
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    well thats hardly much older in my opinion but yes thats normal (i hope haha)
 
 
 
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