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    Hi, I've got a GCSE French speaking coursework after Easter. The topic is celebrities, and we've had to prepare answers to some questions about a famous person. I've made a draft version, but I'm not too strong on my French, was wondering if someone could check for errors or parts that would sound better worded differently?

    Would be very much appreciated if anyone could take the time to have a look through this and point out improvements or errors, thanks!

    French:
    Je vais parler de David Beckham parce qu'il est l'un des footballeurs que j'admire. Il est un modèle pour beaucoup de gens dans le monde parce qu'il est très bon dans ce qu'il fait. Il a joué pendant dix équipes différentes dans le monde, y compris son pays d'origine.
    Il est très fort car il a beaucoup de muscle qui lui fait un bon joueur! Il est rapide, sa taille lui permet avec cela. Il est très gentil et fait beaucoup pour la charité. Comme il a quatre enfants, il est un grand homme de famille et il se soucie de leur avenir beaucoup.
    Beckham a OCD qui signifie que tout doit être propre et bien rangé. Il aime que les choses soient en paires. Il aime à se maintenir en forme et en bonne santé, afin qu'il puisse bien performer. Il n'aime pas être malade, car il s'arrête lui être actif. Il n'aime pas les choses qui ne sont pas vraies se dit sur lui par le public et ses fans.
    Il est devenu célèbre en étant très bon au football. Il est bien connu parce qu'il a joué pour plusieurs équipes, dont l'Angleterre. Jouer pour l'Angleterre a fait de lui bien connu dans le public.
    Dans l'avenir, il va probablement entraîner des équipes de football ou de devenir un gestionnaire. Il sera probablement passait son temps libre avec sa famille et regarder des matchs de football.
    Je n'aime pas la femme de David Beckham parce qu'elle pense que tout le monde l'aime. Je n'aime pas qu'elle dépense son argent sur ​​elle-même et ne pas aider les autres qui en ont besoin.

    English:

    I am going to talk about David Beckham because he is one of the footballers that i look up to. He is a role model for many people in the world because he is very good at what he does. He has played for ten different teams in the world including his home country.
    He is very strong as he has a lot of muscle which makes him a good player! He is quick, his height helps him with this. He is very kind and does a lot for charity. As he has four children he is a big family man and he cares about their future a lot.
    Beckham has OCD which means everything has to be neat and tidy. He likes things to be in pairs. He likes to keep himself fit and healthy so he can perform well. He doesn't like being ill because it stops him being active. He dislikes things that aren't true being said about him by the public and his fans.
    He has become famous through being very good at football. He is well known because he has played for many teams including England. Playing for England has made him well known throughout the public.
    In the future he will probably coach different football teams or become a manager. He will probably be spending his spare time with his family and watching football games.
    I dislike David Beckham's wife because she thinks everyone loves her. I dislike that she spends her money on herself and doesn't help out others that need it.
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    Someone else with a better grasp of the grammar might be able to help you in terms of that (I'm a lot stronger at Spanish grammar and wouldn't want to tell you something that's actually wrong), but I can help with some general stuff:

    Is it definitely long enough? It depends how fast you speak, so maybe it's just me, but I remember writing slightly more than that when I did the controlled assessments. Though I think a nice way for you to improve your grade and add a bit to it, would be by adding some "wow" phrases to impress the examiner, and maybe try to incorporate multiple tenses into sentences.

    I linked these in another thread too, but they're great threads for higher level vocab, so you might want to look at them:

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1561324
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=897820
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    I'm sleepy right now but I shall endeavour to reply tomorrow :beard:

    Edit: Just seen you don't need me to any more
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    (Original post by Star Light)
    Je vais parler de David Beckham parce qu'il est l'un des footballeurs que j'admire. Il est un modèle pour beaucoup de gens dans le monde parce qu'il est très bon à ce qu'il fait. Il a joué pour dix équipes différentes dans le monde, y compris son pays d'origine.
    Il est très fort car il a beaucoup de muscle ce qui fait de lui un bon joueur! Il est rapide, sa taille le lui permet. Il est très gentil et fait beaucoup de travail pour les charités. Puisqu'il a quatre enfants, c'est un homme de famille et il se soucie beaucoup de leur avenir.
    Beckham a un TOC (trouble obsessionnel compulsif), ce qui signifie que tout doit être propre et bien rangé. Il aime que les choses soient en paires. Il aime se maintenir en forme et en bonne santé, afin qu'il puisse faire une bonne performance sportive. Il n'aime pas être malade, car cela lui empêche d'être actif. Il n'aime pas que le publique et ses fans répandent des rumeurs fausses sur lui.
    Il est devenu célèbre en étant très bon au football. Il est bien connu parce qu'il a joué pour plusieurs équipes, dont l'Angleterre. Jouer pour l'Angleterre l'a rendu bien connu du public.
    A l'avenir, il va probablement entraîner des équipes de football ou devenir un gestionnaire. Il passera probablement son temps libre avec sa famille et à regarder des matchs de football.
    Je n'aime pas la femme de David Beckham parce qu'elle pense que tout le monde l'aime. Je n'aime pas qu'elle dépense son argent sur ​​elle-même sans aider les autres qui en ont besoin.
    Here you go

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    (Original post by Audrey...)
    Here you go

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    Audrey, thank you very much for all those little changes, you've been a great help!
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    (Original post by Star Light)
    Audrey, thank you very much for all those little changes, you've been a great help!
    No problem, there wasn't much to correct in the first place!


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    (Original post by Audrey...)
    No problem, there wasn't much to correct in the first place!


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    Good to hear, hopefully the same will be able to be said for my actual coursework
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    (Original post by Dougieowner)
    Is it definitely long enough? It depends how fast you speak, so maybe it's just me, but I remember writing slightly more than that when I did the controlled assessments.
    If it helps, people usually speak at around 150-160 words per minute, but since it's a foreign language I'd consider that a maximum If you're doing AQA I think it's meant to be 4-6 mins, so aim for around 4 mins 30, that leaves you space for questions being asked, the surprise question and a bit of stumbling (or if you go too fast- it happens when you're nervous!)

    My last speaking CA was 643 words long (but I had to mentally slice off some towards the end, it was nearly too long!). But you should definitely time yourself reading it aloud
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    (Original post by jubjubbird01)
    If it helps, people usually speak at around 150-160 words per minute, but since it's a foreign language I'd consider that a maximum If you're doing AQA I think it's meant to be 4-6 mins, so aim for around 4 mins 30, that leaves you space for questions being asked, the surprise question and a bit of stumbling (or if you go too fast- it happens when you're nervous!)

    My last speaking CA was 643 words long (but I had to mentally slice off some towards the end, it was nearly too long!). But you should definitely time yourself reading it aloud
    Thanks for the advice Dougie and Jubjub, I'm going to be extending this by a fair bit to make sure it's long enough! Don't want to be finished 2-3 minutes in
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    (Original post by Star Light)
    Thanks for the advice Dougie and Jubjub, I'm going to be extending this by a fair bit to make sure it's long enough! Don't want to be finished 2-3 minutes in
    you could mention his tattoos and so forth.
 
 
 
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