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The thought of my ex being with anyone else physically repulses me Watch

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    So me and my ex broke up earlier this year, and I'm doing OK with it. Not that good but OK. I won't bother with the details of the relationship or breakup, but basically at this point, the only thing that bothers me or makes me feel down is thinking of her being with someone else.

    I mean in both a relationship or in a sexual sense. I know we aren't together anymore and she will eventually be with someone else and have sex, but at this point in time, I can't bear it. The sex one is worse as that seems more likely - I just think of her going out at uni and sleeping around.
    I sometimes feel physically sick from thinking about it.

    I don't want to get back with her because I know it won't work, but I can't get these thoughts out of my head.


    Any advice?
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    **** before you get ****ed
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    ^I wish I could, but she's the more attractive one. And when I say that, it's not just because of confidence, it's just a fact - based on society's standards, she is more attractive than me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ^I wish I could, but she's the more attractive one. And when I say that, it's not just because of confidence, it's just a fact - based on society's standards, she is more attractive than me.
    Urm...so? She got with you and was your girlfriend for a reason. A girl as equally attractive or better looking will find you just as appealing. My example is perfect:

    Met a girl at halls, fun girl, hot as **** too. amazing in the sack. Good stuff.
    2 months ago she turns up at a party with a random guy getting off and such.
    Did i let her spoil my night? **** that ****. Pulled another girl, took her back to mine...good night had by all.

    Apart from the halls girl who sent texts to my mate containing:

    Her: Was awesome seeing you lot last night who was <my name> with?
    My Mate: Yeh was good lol, urh not sure think her name is Amber, nice girl.
    Her: really? she looked a bit slutty to me. Tell him to be careful.
    My Mate: Tell him yourself lol.

    2 hours later text from her.

    Her: You never text me anymore

    You're letting your ex remain in your head, get rid of her and regain your confidence. Girls love confidence as it makes you stand out from the rest of the group. Be the leader, take control of your life and get that ***** out of your head!

    Go out, talk to other girls, get numbers, flirt, talk, text. Your mind will be off of her within a week.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So me and my ex broke up earlier this year, and I'm doing OK with it. Not that good but OK. I won't bother with the details of the relationship or breakup, but basically at this point, the only thing that bothers me or makes me feel down is thinking of her being with someone else.

    I mean in both a relationship or in a sexual sense. I know we aren't together anymore and she will eventually be with someone else and have sex, but at this point in time, I can't bear it. The sex one is worse as that seems more likely - I just think of her going out at uni and sleeping around.
    I sometimes feel physically sick from thinking about it.

    I don't want to get back with her because I know it won't work, but I can't get these thoughts out of my head.


    Any advice?
    Unfortunately a sad fact of life is that when a relationship ends, we have to go through that nasty phase of 'moving on.'

    There's nothing to say you won't find someone else before she does, but running these thoughts over and over in your head won't help you.
    Nobody likes the idea of the person they care about sleeping with/being in a relationship with someone else, but yes at some point or another it will happen.
    Even when your feelings start to disappear, if you hear your ex is in a relationship/sleeping with someone else you will still probably feel some sort of hurt or loss. There is no simplistic way to make this any easier, you can't force yourself to stop these feelings, although you can try keeping occupying yourself with other things, keeping busy is a good way to try and push those thoughts out of your head for a little while.
    The good thing is that you realise getting back together wouldn't work and so with time you will be able to move on from this, even if it hurts in the process. :sadnod:


    Best of luck.
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    (Original post by Knighted)
    Urm...so? She got with you and was your girlfriend for a reason. A girl as equally attractive or better looking will find you just as appealing. My example is perfect:

    Met a girl at halls, fun girl, hot as **** too. amazing in the sack. Good stuff.
    2 months ago she turns up at a party with a random guy getting off and such.
    Did i let her spoil my night? **** that ****. Pulled another girl, took her back to mine...good night had by all.

    Apart from the halls girl who sent texts to my mate containing:

    Her: Was awesome seeing you lot last night who was <my name> with?
    My Mate: Yeh was good lol, urh not sure think her name is Amber, nice girl.
    Her: really? she looked a bit slutty to me. Tell him to be careful.
    My Mate: Tell him yourself lol.

    2 hours later text from her.

    Her: You never text me anymore

    You're letting your ex remain in your head, get rid of her and regain your confidence. Girls love confidence as it makes you stand out from the rest of the group. Be the leader, take control of your life and get that ***** out of your head!

    Go out, talk to other girls, get numbers, flirt, talk, text. Your mind will be off of her within a week.
    Heh! Great stuff.


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    I back what this guy has said, I thought this when I was younger with women, now I tend to not actually give a f*** about it, delete everything you have of them contact numbers, photos, facebook etc, and move on with your life, once you delete all this it will help trust me, as you are not so much in her life as much.

    As soon as you find another women (although you may feel you don't want one at the minute) your mind will soon change and she will be nothing but a distant memory to you.
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    (Original post by Paulr23)
    I back what this guy has said, I thought this when I was younger with women, now I tend to not actually give a f*** about it, delete everything you have of them contact numbers, photos, facebook etc, and move on with your life, once you delete all this it will help trust me, as you are not so much in her life as much.
    Thanks for backing my statement but I just want to state that I don't find deleting an individual from my life beneficial. My advice for this kind of thing is to just keep her on the sidelines/don't talk or communicate till you are 100% over her/are getting numbers/attention from other girls.

    Then send her a message and I KID YOU NOT ask this question after initial conversations and such.

    Me: Hey, long time no see. Shame we don't even chat anymore.
    <insert conversation bits>
    Me: So just wondering during our time together do you think I could have done anything different, what would you have improved.

    You will think she will just ignore you but girls love this ****. Pointing out your flaws and such. Basically you can use this to

    A) improve yourself in every females eye.
    B) turn her to "your side" then you will either have
    i. A female that tells other girls you're a cool guy and great in the sack (My ex girlfriend is constantly telling any girl who asks her about me that 1) I'm sweet 2) Not spineless 3) have a big ****.
    ii. A female that starts to realise what she missed out on and thus gets jealous about other girls = other girls become more interested.

    (Original post by Paulr23)
    As soon as you find another woman (although you may feel you don't want one at the minute) your mind will soon change and she will be nothing but a distant memory to you.
    This is spot on. Back after I finished college I took a year out, fat loser I was, played World of warcraft for ages and all that nerdy ****. Met a stunning girl who got with me, we had about a year long relationship. Was the best, almost moved in with her, met her parents, all that ****...then she cheated on me.

    I was devastated for 6 months, people couldn't get me to talk, work almost fired me for being constantly moody/telling anyone who tried to argue with me to **** off. Gained more weight.

    After a while I thought **** this ****, lost the weight, stopped playing so many games, went to the gym, went back to college, got into university, got myself slim.

    Now I'm a 22 year old University student on track to a 2:1 and I've managed to bag 2 models in the past year. I'm not bragging I'm merely stating:

    Do not let past failed relationships ruin your future relationships. Take the bad and improve upon it and forget any **** stuff that girls say to you. *****es be crazy
 
 
 
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