So I've been feeling bad about myself and pretty low and I've been stressed out, tired and panicking about everything since last year. I booked an appointment today to tell my doctor, without my Mum being there. I made her sit in the car outside. She thought it was because of my stomach problems (I throw up a lot, sulphur stomach, cramps etc.) but I really needed to see the doctor about this.
She asked me loads of questions like "do you hurt yourself?" "do you want to kill yourself?" "are you feeling low?"
I told her that school and exams were stressing me out, that when I got sad or angry I punched myself and that on some days I'm not happy. I told her I was bored with my life, that I had nothing to do. I told her that I had no intention of killing myself or seriously hurting myself. She tapped everything into her screen and she typed in DEPRESSED which made me panic.
She said she wasn't happy with medicating me, but thought I might benefit from some counselling, and she's going to discuss me with some colleagues and ring me back. I have to go back in 2 weeks.
I told my mum, and she was like "what?!" I didn't tell her everything, I told her the doctor asked me the questions, I told her that I said I was unhappy and stressed out and I told her that the doctor thought my stomach problems were down to anxiety and she wanted me to go to counselling.
My mum could not believe it. She wants to come with me next time to make sure that the doctor isn't giving me something I don't need. She said that the doctor will think I'm manic depressive or want to kill myself and I know I'm not or I won't, but the way my mum now wants to get involved, it's like I don't want to go again.
I want to tell her I'm just stressed about school and that I'm fine, but she's given me another appointment and I'm freaking out because I don't want counselling or medication or anything, I just want it to go back to being a secret and I don't want anybody to know.
Please help me. I really need advice, I am freaking out so bad right now? What should I do??
Just saw my doctor about my depression but now I'm panicking! Watch
- Thread Starter
- 05-04-2013 11:23
- 05-04-2013 19:23
Why not let her come along. Just tell the truth and if she starting having a go at the doctor for saying something you think is true, just stop her?
- 05-04-2013 19:33
That's the problem with depression, you always want to keep it to yourself through fear of what others will say. But I really think your mum needs to know what's going on, because the more you bottle it up yourself, the more complicated things may become. Your mum needs to come to terms with what you might be going through and however hard it is, you really need to try and get things out in the open.
Depression can come in all different shapes and sizes - you can be depressed and not necessarily be self-harming and feeling sad and crying all the time. Depression can often just make you feel bored, irritable, lethargic, and just a general feeling of feeling crap. I know how difficult it is though, as you often want to keep it to yourself through fear of being stigmatised and/or that no-one will understand, or even you think to yourself that you don't suffer from 'real' depression.
If you've been feeling this way I think your mum should know exactly what's going on. She obviously cares a great deal about you, and if she's there to hear the interaction between you and your doctor, she'll probably understand it a lot more and no longer jump to conclusions that you're manic-depressive/suicidal.
- 05-04-2013 19:39
For starters, your mother has no right to accompany you on an appointment if you're mature enough. You sound like you've got a very mild case of depression as you meet 2/3 criteria of depression. Asking questions in regards to suicide is standard practice and was not in anyway specific to your consultation. In Med School, if you get ANY psychiatric patient and you don't assess risk to themselves and to others, then you've really cocked up.
So I wouldn't worry about it.
- 05-04-2013 21:59
Seriously, keeping it a secret and not accepting help or dealing with it is probably the least helpful thing you could do fir yourself. Depression, I have found, can almost take on a life of its own. The way it makes you think and feel sustains its own survival. I know its hard, but part of beating it is to admit to yourself its a problem and then start letting people in to help you. What is the worst your mum will do really? Shell want to help you. Counselling can be helpful too. Talking about how you're feeling can help you to deal with it and work out ways of dealing with it.