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Should I even bother being his friend? watch

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    Basically one of my supposed 'best friends' has kind of upset me. A few years ago a guy stalked me, threatened me and made up rumours that I told people he raped me - all because when he asked me out I rejected him. Thankfully he's not been in touch since (I threatened to get the police involved and he's currently training to become a police officer, so obviously that would've ruined his chances!).

    Anyway. This supposed best friend of mine has started hanging out with him again, despite everything he did to me. He made life so difficult, alienated me from my year in sixth form and made me so depressed I considered dropping out of school at the time. I have explained to my 'friend' how this person makes me feel, and am asking him why he thinks it's appropriate to be friendly with someone who did that to someone you call your best friend. His reply was that it's a 'long time ago' and he made some 'stupid choices' but is a 'nice guy'?!

    Is it even worth arguing about? I just feel disgusted that he's going out drinking and clubbing with a guy that tried to ruin my life and threatened to hurt me if I didn't break up with my boyfriend of the time, all because I didn't reciprocate his feelings. :confused: If the tables were turned, I wouldn't give them the light of day.

    Am I overreacting or would you be annoyed too?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically one of my supposed 'best friends' has kind of upset me. A few years ago a guy stalked me, threatened me and made up rumours that I told people he raped me - all because when he asked me out I rejected him. Thankfully he's not been in touch since (I threatened to get the police involved and he's currently training to become a police officer, so obviously that would've ruined his chances!).

    Anyway. This supposed best friend of mine has started hanging out with him again, despite everything he did to me. He made life so difficult, alienated me from my year in sixth form and made me so depressed I considered dropping out of school at the time. I have explained to my 'friend' how this person makes me feel, and am asking him why he thinks it's appropriate to be friendly with someone who did that to someone you call your best friend. His reply was that it's a 'long time ago' and he made some 'stupid choices' but is a 'nice guy'?!

    Is it even worth arguing about? I just feel disgusted that he's going out drinking and clubbing with a guy that tried to ruin my life and threatened to hurt me if I didn't break up with my boyfriend of the time, all because I didn't reciprocate his feelings. :confused: If the tables were turned, I wouldn't give them the light of day.

    Am I overreacting or would you be annoyed too?
    What happened to you wasn't good however, you can't stop one of your friends being friends with someone else.
    You have explained that you don't like it and as long as he doesn't expect you to start hanging out together or ditching you for the other guy I think you should just let him get on with it, it is his life and his choice, try not to let it change your friendship with him.

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    Yes, it's horrible what happened to you, but all the same I'm afraid you can't go around telling other people who they can and can't be friends with.
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    But should I even be someones friend when they want to be all buddy with someone who made my life such a misery? For such a pathetic reason? :/ I know I can't tell him not to be mates with him but I'm wondering if he's even that great a friend if he can be civil with someone who did that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But should I even be someones friend when they want to be all buddy with someone who made my life such a misery? For such a pathetic reason? :/ I know I can't tell him not to be mates with him but I'm wondering if he's even that great a friend if he can be civil with someone who did that.
    there is no reason not to. i felt similarly betrayed when a friend of mine became friends with a girl who'd been horrible to me (not quite as bad as this guy though) but we are still good friends now and its not affected our friendship
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    I'm friends with quite a few people that dont like each other and I dont think it has affected our friendships. Although no one has ever done anything as bad as what was done to you. I do however understand that you would like a degree of loyalty from your friend. Has the guy that harassed you ever apologised to you about his behaviour??
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    (Original post by heirloom)
    I'm friends with quite a few people that dont like each other and I dont think it has affected our friendships. Although no one has ever done anything as bad as what was done to you. I do however understand that you would like a degree of loyalty from your friend. Has the guy that harassed you ever apologised to you about his behaviour??
    No, he never apologised. He said that what he was doing was 'right' and he would not apologise for doing 'the right thing'. I honestly think he has mental issues. The only reason he stopped was because I told him I'd get the police involved and (as stated in the original post) he's currently on a course to become a police officer sometime in the future. He still makes disgusting comments about me to people (so I have been told), spreading yet more lies about me even after all this time. :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, he never apologised. He said that what he was doing was 'right' and he would not apologise for doing 'the right thing'. I honestly think he has mental issues. The only reason he stopped was because I told him I'd get the police involved and (as stated in the original post) he's currently on a course to become a police officer sometime in the future. He still makes disgusting comments about me to people (so I have been told), spreading yet more lies about me even after all this time. :/
    I can only imagine how annoying that must be and I sympathise with you. I remember a situation that occurred with one of my friends and their best friend. The best friend became friends with a girl who was a prolific lier. They fell about about it when my friend warned her what she was like. In the end this girls true colours shone through and the two friends made up. I think you are just going to have to bite your tongue and allow your friend to continue this relationship. If indeed this boy hasn't changed your best friend will find out soon enough
 
 
 
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