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    I used to see a girl I worked with and we were with each other for about 9 months. We went on a couple of holidays together and both (said we) loved each other. To cut a long story short, she broke up with me at first suggesting we should 'take a break' and then, at the end of the preassigned break period, decided she not only didn't want to get back with me, but also didn't want to be friends with me.

    At first I found this difficult to take, not because we weren't going out anymore (we argued a lot, I once attempted to break up with her) but because I had just assumed she would at least attempt to be friends. I texted her a bit after she had made it clear she didn't want to hear from me (maybe 5 times over the course of a month) but then found out, through another friend at work, that she had changed her number.

    I also saw her a couple of times in the street and tried to talk to her, with genuine intention of just catching up, and she ignored me. It was upsetting really, because I always thought the 'done thing' was to attempt to have a friendly relationship with the person you broke up with, unless that break up was for a reason such as cheating, or domestic violence.

    It occurred to me recently if someone had just seen her side of it, her reactions were similar to the actions of someone being stalked.

    So I'm interested to know if people think I was doing the wrong thing or not?
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    I wouldn't say that was remotely stalkerish, at the end of the day she's just blanked you. As for being friends afterwards, people say it but it rarely happens because so many emotions get mixed up when you're in a relationship with someone and to go back to how it was is really difficult.
    But she shouldn't act the way she has, completely leaving you out of the loop and refusing to get into contact with you, without giving you a reason as to why she's decided to cut contact. Try and move on because it seems to me like she selfishly has no intention ever of being friends with you again




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    (Original post by catb94)
    I wouldn't say that was remotely stalkerish, at the end of the day she's just blanked you. As for being friends afterwards, people say it but it rarely happens because so many emotions get mixed up when you're in a relationship with someone and to go back to how it was is really difficult.
    But she shouldn't act the way she has, completely leaving you out of the loop and refusing to get into contact with you, without giving you a reason as to why she's decided to cut contact. Try and move on because it seems to me like she selfishly has no intention ever of being friends with you again
    I guess when someone doesn't attempt to be friends after a relationship, it makes you think 'why were they in the relationship to begin with'.

    I find it slightly embarrassing to have to say to people that ask about her - 'she's not speaking to me anymore' rather than 'we're just friends now'. And it's particularly difficult because of the fact that there are quite a few people that I'm friends with that know us both.
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    I know what you mean because I had a friend who just turned on me and hasn't spoken to me since, without giving me a reason why.
    The worst thing about what she's done is not given you a reason why she doesn't want to be friends which is really shallow but then that puts you in the position of wanting to find out why


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    Not sure whether that made any sense hahaha


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    your doing the righ thing and id disagree to say its stalkerish
    however, if you have a brain, take the hint and leave her alone
    i know its tough for you but it seems like the right thing to do
    sorry
 
 
 
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