Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    So now that I've graduated and have a job, I want to leave home and find a house/flat share with other graduates of a similar age and situation. I would rather die than live alone, so this is really the only option for me to leave home.

    I started looking at places last year and I can't believe what a piss take the whole thing is.

    On probably around 7 or 8 occasions now, I have responded to an advert, viewed the house, met at least one of the existing housemates, and sent them a message saying that I would like to take the room in question; only to either:


    • Never hear from them ever again
    • Be told that the room has 'already been taken by someone else' (an obvious lie, as their advert is still online)
    • Be told that they 'don't think I would fit in'


    This is disgusting; these people are judging me negatively based on spending less than five minutes with me. I am decent looking, well dressed, and have outstanding personal hygeine. There isn't anything that they could possibly dislike about me. I have lived in many house shares when I was at University and I was always popular and well-liked. I hardly say much at all when I visit a house, so they have no reason at all to take a dislike to me.

    What the **** is going on??
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Do you wear glasses?
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by inmyhead)
    So now that I've graduated and have a job, I want to leave home and find a house/flat share with other graduates of a similar age and situation. I would rather die than live alone, so this is really the only option for me to leave home.

    I started looking at places last year and I can't believe what a piss take the whole thing is.

    On probably around 7 or 8 occasions now, I have responded to an advert, viewed the house, met at least one of the existing housemates, and sent them a message saying that I would like to take the room in question; only to either:


    • Never hear from them ever again
    • Be told that the room has 'already been taken by someone else' (an obvious lie, as their advert is still online)
    • Be told that they 'don't think I would fit in'


    This is disgusting; these people are judging me negatively based on spending less than five minutes with me. I am decent looking, well dressed, and have outstanding personal hygeine. There isn't anything that they could possibly dislike about me. I have lived in many house shares when I was at University and I was always popular and well-liked. I hardly say much at all when I visit a house, so they have no reason at all to take a dislike to me.

    What the **** is going on??
    Don't blame yourself, just view it as a statistical thing.

    Suppose each viewing has a half chance of being successful, independently of each other. Then you would expect 1 out of every 128 people to have your experience.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    If you aren't saying much it's probably got less to do with not liking you and more to do with them not finding you interesting. Someone who doesn't talk to a potential housemate at a viewing is going to come off as boring, an having no personality, who wants to live with someone that's boring? Talk more at the viewings and you'll get noticed more.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Yes on the web, there is something wrong, with Google,, always when u google "i search a rent house", the top 100 results are houses that are already gone.... Thats a real bugger always... Has something to do with buying commercial space on Google, wich lots of house renting compagnies do...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by justanotherposter)
    If you aren't saying much it's probably got less to do with not liking you and more to do with them not finding you interesting. Someone who doesn't talk to a potential housemate at a viewing is going to come off as boring, an having no personality, who wants to live with someone that's boring? Talk more at the viewings and you'll get noticed more.

    Tbh I'd prefer to have a shy and introverted housemate than the usual loud and very colourful common lot.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    Out of curiosity, why would you rather "die than live alone?" If it's a financial issue, which it usually is, I can understand. But I live alone in a 1 bedroom now, and it's ideal. I can be social when I want to and alone when I want to. I can have my boyfriend over, cook what I want, clean when I want and have washing machine and closet to myself. Friends live a few minutes away. I honestly thought anyone would want a flat to themselves if finances allowed it.

    Before I got my flat, I looked for available rooms. I viewed two places. The first one I got along with the woman living there and she wanted me to move in, but there was a dispute regarding the council tax: she was a professional and wanted me to pay half of it, whereas I usually don't have council tax as I'm a student.
    The second was a flat shared with two other girls. I thought the meeting went well but they never responded to me after, and I have no idea why. Another girl I know viewed it as well, and she heard nothing from them either (also a nice, well-presented girl). The ad was still up, so clearly none of the 10 people viewing it got the room.

    In your situation, it's impossible to know without knowing you. You say you "hardly say much at all" when visiting a house - some people are not just looking for someone to share the rent, they're looking for a mate and if you aren't extroverted, they may think you won't be much fun to live with.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dejah Thoris)
    Tbh I'd prefer to have a shy and introverted housemate than the usual loud and very colourful common lot.
    I don't mean act rowdy, but for example if they showed the house and you see someone has a playstation asking what kind of games they play is more likely to get them to like you than just silently following them from room to room as they show the house.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by inmyhead)
    There isn't anything that they could possibly dislike about me.

    What the **** is going on??
    I wonder if your arrogance plays a role?

    I know an absolutely amazing girl who is so king and outgoing, and she went through multiple 'interview' processes for flats, even going out for drinks with the people, and didn't get picked a few times.

    It's just the way it goes. Why not find your own flat and recruit your own perfect people?
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by inmyhead)
    What the **** is going on??
    Its all "in your head"
    • #1
    #1

    Urgh I know exactly what you mean.

    I ended up living alone in my final year of university because I couldn't be arsed with the ridiculous charade of responding to adverts only to be met by people who 'want someone I can be friends with and not just a housemate.' I think it's ridiculous to have to put people through multiple stages like going out for drinks etc. I want someone to live I DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE MY FRIEND necessarily.

    It is so silly. anyway, living alone I found pretty depressing too so I am not really sure what I want!!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Millie228)
    Out of curiosity, why would you rather "die than live alone?" If it's a financial issue, which it usually is, I can understand. But I live alone in a 1 bedroom now, and it's ideal. I can be social when I want to and alone when I want to. I can have my boyfriend over, cook what I want, clean when I want and have washing machine and closet to myself. Friends live a few minutes away. I honestly thought anyone would want a flat to themselves if finances allowed it.
    You're an insensitive moron. I have no friends and I would be totally alone if it wasn't for housemates.

    In your situation, it's impossible to know without knowing you. You say you "hardly say much at all" when visiting a house - some people are not just looking for someone to share the rent, they're looking for a mate and if you aren't extroverted, they may think you won't be much fun to live with.
    I am fun to live with once I have got to know someone. That can't happen in a 4 minute viewing.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    No-one has any answers
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe it's your sense of entitlement putting them off. Besides, it's up to them who let to.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by inmyhead)
    You're an insensitive moron. I have no friends and I would be totally alone if it wasn't for housemates.
    Well I wonder why you don't have any friends... :curious: or housemates... maybe you shouldn't just call people insensitive morons?
    I am fun to live with once I have got to know someone. That can't happen in a 4 minute viewing.
    And how do you know you're fun to live with if you've only lived at home?

    The main question here is: Why don't you have any friends?!
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pitseleh)
    Well I wonder why you don't have any friends... :curious: or housemates... maybe you shouldn't just call people insensitive morons?


    And how do you know you're fun to live with if you've only lived at home?

    The main question here is: Why don't you have any friends?!
    This - OP, the fact that you're so quick to call people insensitive morons shows you've maybe got a chip on your shoulder or some kind of entitlement like feeling .. you must be doing something wrong or giving off a vibe, and the very fact that you would 'rather die' than live alone speaks volumes. Do you hate your own company that much or do you just prefer to be around other people most of the time? There is no shame in living alone and seeing your mates when you want to, you say you don't have any friends but I find that hard to believe after you've just graduated uni. Maybe reach out to some old course-mates and ask to meet/catch up?
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    Some people probably just want to live with others that they actually know and/or are friends with...not complete strangers who have just messaged them. It's completely understandable. It seems you're bitter because you feel like you're entitled to be universally liked.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: June 3, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.