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    Hello people.

    It has been almost a year since I have radically changed, from a below average student who didn't care about anything to someone who wants to attend top-tier university such as Harvard or MIT. I have discovered my passion for mathematics, my desire to become a successful person, my desire to cross the ocean once for all and start over. This objective is who I am now, it is the only thing I think about when I am falling asleep and waking up, every day is a new opportunity to study, whether it's maths, physics or SAT vocabulary, there is nothing else I care about. I believe I have what it takes to get accepted, grades, ECs, recommendations, self-respect, it's all there. Whenever I think about opening that letter of acceptance, something strange is going on inside me, it's similar to what I felt when I firstly fell in love, it drives me crazy, it's like a dream; too beautiful to be true, but I know that it can happen.

    There is no point studying in our country, our government is too corrupted, economy is in a terrible shape; wherever I would study in the US, I would still end up having a better life than here. It has never been about "being paid well", since the day 1 it was about self-respect, I want to be proud of myself (as there is no one else apart from my girlfriend), I want to meet new people, be independent. But quite obviously, you can't avoid those numbers and sometimes I find myself caring too much how much graduates earn. I am not even accepted to that damn school yet and yet I care, it makes me feel pathetic. I even found myself few times on Mercedes website, figuring out how much would S class cost me, that felt like a whole new level of being pathetic. If that wasn't enough, I am actually thinking about going for a different major, just because of money. (pure CS to applied maths & economics). I am from a poor family, so having that much money seems great, but still.

    Is that a common thing? Do people care that much about their future salaries? Am I really that pathetic?

    If you don't want to go to college/ uni then fine, you can still be successful

    Why would you want to buy a Mercedes S-Class? Like any expensive car it's a depreciating gas-guzzler and unlike, say, a 1.2 Vauxhall Corsa you won't be able to push it to the limit on the public roads.

    Computer science is so popular it's hard to get a job in it, I hear. The computer boom happened years and years ago and it's on its way out, mark my words, the industry is reaching saturation. Maths and economics is much more respectable.

    It's not pathetic to care about your future salary, because at our age and in our times we worry about putting food on the table. But remember money is just a proxy to power, not real power. And it's also a very crude proxy to quality of life, which is the most important thing.

    You have the same problem as me, you're dazzled by the big goals and so three things will happen for you:
    - decision paralysis
    - anxiety
    - disappointment

    To succeed you must think on short-term goals rather than the Mercedes S-Class you will only be able to afford when you're middle-aged and it's 30 years out of date. But you sound like you have a stellar work ethic. Keep it up my son.
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