Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    A year ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. I wanted to be able to focus on my final years at uni, and we were long distance (over 200 miles apart) so things were getting tricky as I had less and less time due to my uni and part time job commitments.

    He is honestly a really really great guy, we had a great relationship, and have miraculously managed to stay friends and I see him whenever I visit home and we still have a good time just hanging out. My issue was that because I hadn't really ever been serious with anyone else, and he is the perfect guy you would want to settle down with in the future, but I just didn't think I wanted that right now. I was only 20, and wanted to enjoy my time being young. But now, I'm surrounded by friends with partners and all they seem to care about is their bloody boyfriends whilst I sit in the flat alone feeling sorry for myself, wondering why I gave up my boyfriend.

    So tonight, my ex called me regarding plans for when I come home next week as we are going to meet for a catch up. He'd had a couple of drinks and told me that he missed me, well, missed us basically. I said I missed us too, and my first instinct thoughts were happiness.

    However I have this constant battle in my head about whether I should ever get back with him, at least without experiencing other things. I haven't been with anyone since we broke up, I just kind of wish I had just so I could have something to compare our relationship to and make me more certain on whether it would work out in super long term, I wouldn't want to have any regrets if I settled down with him properly. Plus I still live 200 miles away so if we wanted to try and get back together things would be relatively awkward. And I would hate to mess him around if we did get back together and then I had second thoughts about it maybe not working out after all...

    Anyone care to share their thoughts?
    • TSR Support Team
    Online

    19
    TSR Support Team
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A year ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. I wanted to be able to focus on my final years at uni, and we were long distance (over 200 miles apart) so things were getting tricky as I had less and less time due to my uni and part time job commitments.

    He is honestly a really really great guy, we had a great relationship, and have miraculously managed to stay friends and I see him whenever I visit home and we still have a good time just hanging out. My issue was that because I hadn't really ever been serious with anyone else, and he is the perfect guy you would want to settle down with in the future, but I just didn't think I wanted that right now. I was only 20, and wanted to enjoy my time being young. But now, I'm surrounded by friends with partners and all they seem to care about is their bloody boyfriends whilst I sit in the flat alone feeling sorry for myself, wondering why I gave up my boyfriend.

    So tonight, my ex called me regarding plans for when I come home next week as we are going to meet for a catch up. He'd had a couple of drinks and told me that he missed me, well, missed us basically. I said I missed us too, and my first instinct thoughts were happiness.

    However I have this constant battle in my head about whether I should ever get back with him, at least without experiencing other things. I haven't been with anyone since we broke up, I just kind of wish I had just so I could have something to compare our relationship to and make me more certain on whether it would work out in super long term, I wouldn't want to have any regrets if I settled down with him properly. Plus I still live 200 miles away so if we wanted to try and get back together things would be relatively awkward. And I would hate to mess him around if we did get back together and then I had second thoughts about it maybe not working out after all...

    Anyone care to share their thoughts?
    My advice if you really want him, go get him, but don't play games. On the other hand it sounds like you got doubts so it might be an idea not to mess him around and be honest, obviously seeing others with boyfriends has got you feeling like this, but they are perfectly allowed to be happy. In short you need to figure out what you really want.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A year ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. I wanted to be able to focus on my final years at uni, and we were long distance (over 200 miles apart) so things were getting tricky as I had less and less time due to my uni and part time job commitments.

    He is honestly a really really great guy, we had a great relationship, and have miraculously managed to stay friends and I see him whenever I visit home and we still have a good time just hanging out. My issue was that because I hadn't really ever been serious with anyone else, and he is the perfect guy you would want to settle down with in the future, but I just didn't think I wanted that right now. I was only 20, and wanted to enjoy my time being young. But now, I'm surrounded by friends with partners and all they seem to care about is their bloody boyfriends whilst I sit in the flat alone feeling sorry for myself, wondering why I gave up my boyfriend.

    So tonight, my ex called me regarding plans for when I come home next week as we are going to meet for a catch up. He'd had a couple of drinks and told me that he missed me, well, missed us basically. I said I missed us too, and my first instinct thoughts were happiness.

    However I have this constant battle in my head about whether I should ever get back with him, at least without experiencing other things. I haven't been with anyone since we broke up, I just kind of wish I had just so I could have something to compare our relationship to and make me more certain on whether it would work out in super long term, I wouldn't want to have any regrets if I settled down with him properly. Plus I still live 200 miles away so if we wanted to try and get back together things would be relatively awkward. And I would hate to mess him around if we did get back together and then I had second thoughts about it maybe not working out after all...

    Anyone care to share their thoughts?
    The reasons why you broke up with him will still be an issue even if you get back together. Yes, it's inevitable that you will miss him and miss what you had. But you say you want to try dating other people and see what you want. Maybe you need to do that to see if he is the right guy for you. You have your doubts for a reason and there is no point suppressing that.

    Sometimes time apart and new experiences can get rid of doubts and reaffirm things for you. You have your doubts and your gut instincts. Go with them. You broke up with him for a reason and you need to figure things out. So take the time to figure things out and stay friends.

    If it's meant to be it'll work itself out for the best. You broke up for a reason so make the most of that
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 6, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.