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How to politely tell my controlling older cousin to get stuffed and leave me alone? Watch

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    I have a controlling older cousin who is overprotective of me whenever I go to visit his family up in Norfolk.

    Here's the story:
    My cousin finished university a year ago and got a degree in music. Since I was small, he has always been protective of me as well as controlling. He has gotten worse since he got together with his girlfriend three years ago. He has turned from the cousin I knew and was close with into a complete utter git. He now looks down his nose at me and thinks he's it. His girlfriend is lovely, very sweet and kind but he treats her like utter crap which enrages me each time. He tells her to **** off if she tries to help him when he is annoyed, etc, etc. I don't know how she puts up with him. He has also become very controlling with me. If he tells me what to do, he expects me to do it. Such as today when I had to set the table for dinner, he'd expected me to put side plates on the table when there was clearly no space left. I got annoyed and gave him the v-sign when his back was turned. At this point, I have lost every ounce of respect I had for him. Sometimes he will be nice to me such as asking how I am and what I'm doing but that's just about it. I'm sick of his arrogancy and him expecting me to do stuff when he asks me to all the time. He has also become bery selfish. None of my other cousins (his older siblings) are as controlling or as self centred as he is. They are far different from him.

    I feel upset having to write this out because he used to be sweet and kind. He used to be like an older brother to me but he no longer is. What should I say to him, because I'm close to snapping. I don't want to cause a huge fuss with the family either. Please, can someone give me advice?

    BTW: I'm 15 years old and my cousin is 24.

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    ok! so basically i was in the same situation,jus turned 18 and my cousin 27,used to be like a big sister to me but then her "advice" just turned out to be jabs at me and how i live my life..really silly things like one day she shouted at me and warned me i shouldnt wear a pink dress out one night..really ridiculous things that would grate on my last nerve til it got to the point i couldnt be around her anymore..pretty much the rest of my family used to say it was jealousy so she kept putting me down,it was getting hard to deal with

    but anyway it was my bday last week and she said something that upset me,we were out drinking and all the tension built up and we ended up having a massive argument,it was all her fault but she ended up blocking me on fb [mature right?]. i literally told her everything i thought, about how she treats me like **** etc etc

    BASICALLY, you have two options.

    1. stop being around him if its bringing you down
    2. if you want to spend time with him,lay down the rules that he cant treat you like ****

    my mistake was not speaking up sooner
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    I had a similar problem with my cousin, she would put me down and be quite a bully under the pretence of caring about me. We had a fight and my family are no longer on speaking terms with hers but I feel so much better now knowing I won't have to pretend enjoying their company again. Being honest about it might end badly but the way I see it is you don't have to put up with someone's rubbish just because you're genetically linked, and I don't miss my cousin at all and wouldn't change what happened.


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    (Original post by x-pixie-x)
    I had a similar problem with my cousin, she would put me down and be quite a bully under the pretence of caring about me. We had a fight and my family are no longer on speaking terms with hers but I feel so much better now knowing I won't have to pretend enjoying their company again. Being honest about it might end badly but the way I see it is you don't have to put up with someone's rubbish just because you're genetically linked, and I don't miss my cousin at all and wouldn't change what happened.


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    same sorta situation as me, so surprised that im no tthe only one in this position!
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    I think the problem is that, since he got with his girlfriend, she put up with his **** so he got used to it. Now he automatically expects other people to put up with his **** too.
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    (Original post by JustDisturbia)
    ok! so basically i was in the same situation,jus turned 18 and my cousin 27,used to be like a big sister to me but then her "advice" just turned out to be jabs at me and how i live my life..really silly things like one day she shouted at me and warned me i shouldnt wear a pink dress out one night..really ridiculous things that would grate on my last nerve til it got to the point i couldnt be around her anymore..pretty much the rest of my family used to say it was jealousy so she kept putting me down,it was getting hard to deal with

    but anyway it was my bday last week and she said something that upset me,we were out drinking and all the tension built up and we ended up having a massive argument,it was all her fault but she ended up blocking me on fb [mature right?]. i literally told her everything i thought, about how she treats me like **** etc etc

    BASICALLY, you have two options.

    1. stop being around him if its bringing you down
    2. if you want to spend time with him,lay down the rules that he cant treat you like ****

    my mistake was not speaking up sooner
    Wow, your cousin sounds one hell of a lot worse than mine! She sounds really immature the way she treated you like that!

    I'm trying to avoid my cousin at the moment. My other family members thinks he's an arse so I'm not the only one who thinks that too. He's actually nicer when he's drunk. I will make it clear how he can treat me from now on. Thanks for the advice.

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    (Original post by x-pixie-x)
    I had a similar problem with my cousin, she would put me down and be quite a bully under the pretence of caring about me. We had a fight and my family are no longer on speaking terms with hers but I feel so much better now knowing I won't have to pretend enjoying their company again. Being honest about it might end badly but the way I see it is you don't have to put up with someone's rubbish just because you're genetically linked, and I don't miss my cousin at all and wouldn't change what happened.


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    That's so cruel! Your cousin sounds like a scumbag! My cousin reduced me to tears today when he told me not to use my partial hearing as an excuse to not listen and get away with stuff. As you can imagine, I'm not happy about this at all. I agree completely about the fact that you shouldn't have to put up with someone's rubbish just because you're genetically linked.

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    (Original post by TheGoonerGirl)
    That's so cruel! Your cousin sounds like a scumbag! My cousin reduced me to tears today when he told me not to use my partial hearing as an excuse to not listen and get away with stuff. As you can imagine, I'm not happy about this at all. I agree completely about the fact that you shouldn't have to put up with someone's rubbish just because you're genetically linked.

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    Some of my friends don't get it but family dynamics are different with everyone. My cousin is a classic example of someone who dishes it out but can't take it, I dished it out to her and she flipped. Through me out of her house at midnight miles from where I live with no way to get home. Needless to say my parents were fuming!! I've cut friends off before but always regretted it once I realised they treated me well. I don't miss my cousin one bit, because I don't care
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    get stuffed and leave me alone
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    Oh, hell, damn it, should've made this thread anonymous!! My cousin just told me he has account on TSR! Crap crap crap!!!! **** **** ****!!!! What do I do?!?!?!?!?! He's gonna kill me if he sees this!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
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