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Hit my absolute limit. Need to make some pretty big decisions and no-idea what to do. watch

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    I could really do with some advice, if anyone has any helpful or supportive thoughts.

    As of now I have a major deadline on Tuesday, (with others upcoming) and I am no-where near meeting it. I'm studying 2nd year (resit) architecture, which of course has a huge workload attached to it.

    Put simply I can't cope with the workload any more, the work im producing is poor and miles off what it needs to be to pass my studio portfolio this year, which is my second attempt at the module thanks to a mental breakdown last academic year, which i kept quiet from most people.

    I'm making myself ill-er the more i try and catch up/keep up, i find i cant focus at all, and am having panic and anxiety attacks again. Im seeing a psychotherapist to try and help me cope, having been sent her way by a doctor, although i find all she is doing is just telling me what i already know... although there is little i can physically change to improve my circumstances. I don't feel the sessions are helping, and it is clear im not well, mentally and more and more physically. The stress of uni and my family/private life are only getting worse.

    As i've basically used up all my lifelines at my uni, with regards to resits and extenuating circumstances, i can't see that i can pass this year because of the quality/volume/content of my work (let alone next year and my degree as a whole).

    I'm feeling sick to my core because i have a huge amount riding on this degree, financially, and from my family expecting me to succeed, not to mention how difficult it is to make a career (or at least get a job) for yourself without a degree, experience or skill-set these days. I feel like a total worthless failure, and don't have any confidence in myself or my future anymore. I've got nothing to fall back on if..when it fails. My other modules arent going so well either and i'm pretty much broke.

    I'm just wondering if anyone knows how i can approach my family, and hold myself together when the inevitable happens.. all of my friends pretty much have degrees and good jobs, or are still at uni, and are very competitive, (and somewhat judgemental) in nature with their successes in life.

    I dont know what to do with myself or my life now. My family is in a pretty bad state, and only getting worse, and i have got to be financially self-reliant as soon as i can be, because they cant support me anymore. I haven't got anyone else to talk to... and its hard to be taken seriously with things like this as a guy...

    Has anyone else been in this boat? A course friend of mine committed suicide in the Autumn under similar circumstances, and I know i'm on a slippery slope, another close friend had to leave uni a year before due to her mental health and she is in a pretty bad situation both financially and with her wellbeing and with regards to her future. I'm scared of how far im going to slide as things get worse.

    As i'm most probably going to be leaving uni this summer, with very little to show for it apart from a large chunk of debt, anyone got any ideas what i can do next, to look after myself, improve my chances of getting a job that i can survive on? Any thoughts appreciated. I'm just trying to build something for my life, because it hasn't exactly gone to plan so far.. x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As i'm most probably going to be leaving uni this summer, with very little to show for it apart from a large chunk of debt, anyone got any ideas what i can do next, to look after myself, improve my chances of getting a job that i can survive on? Any thoughts appreciated. I'm just trying to build something for my life, because it hasn't exactly gone to plan so far.. x[/FONT]
    You don't need a degree to earn a good wage. Pretty much everyone I know with a degree just does the same jobs as people without degrees.

    Don't you have a mentor or counsellor at your university that you can have a good discussion about your options?
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    Just tell them. If anyone is going to be there for you in your time of need it's your family.

    If you don't feel like trying to get a degree again you could just go straight into employment or try to find an apprenticeship. There are plenty of jobs that would let you be self-reliant and don't require any degrees or at least not full degrees. Here's a list of some high paying jobs that don't require a bachelors degree.
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    My dad is an architect and lectured at a university for quite a few years so I can understand the pressure you're under. It might be best to speak to the university about an interruption of studies and see if you can take a year out to get well. I took 2 years out after my first year (I had twins so slightly different reasons) and the university were fine with it. I know other students who have taken 1 or 2 years out for mental health reasons. I wouldn't walk away completely, you may just need a bit of time to get everything clear. You could, in that time, do some assistant work for an architectural practice which might give you a bit of experience that could help you. I really hope things come together for you, I've had some extremely dark days during the course of my degree but have really come through the other side now. Have courage
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    I was in a similar situation, but final year of university. As a last desperate resort, it was agreed by myself and my GP to merely treat the anxiety and panic attacks with fast-acting methods with --- (and currently, --- for insomnia) to get me through the final year - it's essentially an escape from reality whenever you need it - in this way it is also a dangerous trap and requires self-control to counter the temptation of taking more. After which (graduation), therapy would then be considered and further analysis of the situation.

    In other words, if your degree is really worth it to you, then see your GP about shorter acting medications that immediately eliminate your conditions.

    Alternatively, you might be able to take a year out and opt for a longer, safer treatment option.
    • #1
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    Thanks for your replies everyone, it means a lot.

    I had a university councillor, but recently i have not been able to get to see one, as my university normally only allows 6 weeks of sessions max, and they are all booked out as for the rest of this year by others. Ive spoken to my uni, and i HAVE TO complete this year with a pass in my studio module, as I am resitting it anyway. If i do find a way to get it together for portfolio/tuesday, then i am planning on taking a year out anyway.

    I had been to see a doctor, who decided that i was not 'that unwell' even though I, others and other medical professionals think I am to benefit from medication, however, I find the thought terrifying, because my mother committed suicide from an overdose, as the medication she was taking for her severe depression made her much more ill than better, but she was unable to stop taking it due to the withdrawal symptoms being so severe in her case. I know my family would be very critical should they find out I am/or would be taking medication for a similar thing. The same applies to me failing the course, as their expectations are high and they have made that clear to me, which doesn't help in the slightest... x
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    Also, I took a look at that AOL list of Jobs not requiring degrees, and as much as it shows its possible, and there are many successful people out there, I really cant see how some of those positions, in the UK job market would take a person on at even a lower/junior level without a degree from a similar field. A company I had worked for were looking for an operations manager, with a much lower pay grade and required skill/experience level, and a degree was an absolute... as it was for the assistant which i had applied for (and failed to get because i didn't have a degree) even though i was probably just as capable. I think maybe AOL might have been a bit optimistic with that story!
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    Do you think you could get the work done if you just really get your head down for the next few days? Might be worth going back to your teachers to see if you can get an extension? If you fancy a chat feel free to PM me best of luck to you, just remember, you were good enough to get in in the first place and you CAN do it x
    • #1
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    I'm pushing my luck really with deadlines, but for what i am doing i'd need another week, but a week with a clear head, which is where i fall atm.

    Its unlikely that i can get an extension from tuesday due to the nature of studio work, i could possibly be allowed to drag it out until thursday, but im in London then for a hospital appointment, so thats no use. The following weeks are student holidays then its the portfolio deadline -_-

    I'll just keep plugging away tomorrow and see where I'm at x
 
 
 
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