Argh! Boyfriend too 'mushy'... Watch

Rock Fan
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#41
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#41
So many girls would crave for attention like this from their boyfriends, i smoother my girlfriend in hugs and kisses and she loves it.
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Anonymous #4
#42
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#42
To a certain extent I can relate to what your bf is going thru because I used to be the same (probs still am a bit, just not as bad). I wouldnt say I ever went completely OTT but I was a bit too mushy; unfortunately my gf at the time wasnt really the best communicator of feelings and kept it quiet and chose to give me the cold shoulder. But this, if anything, just made me more clingy...and eventually we broke up because of it. I know its a huge cliché which youve been told a hundred times but u have to talk to him - try and be understanding and sensitive and Im sure things will be fine. best of luck!
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Helenia
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#43
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(Original post by Carl1982)
So many girls would crave for attention like this from their boyfriends, i smoother my girlfriend in hugs and kisses and she loves it.
As with so many relationship things, it's all about finding a balance. If your other half is constantly hugging and kissing you and you're not comfortable with it, then it's going to get annoying (e.g. if it means you can't walk anywhere without stopping every 5 steps, or if you're in the pub with friends and can't have a normal conversation). Of course, nobody wants to be mistreated, but not everyone wants to be petted the entire time.
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Anonymous #5
#44
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exactly the thing i've been neg-repped for in the past ... so i'll post as anon :mad:

To the OP: when a guy gets too 'mushy' and basically has 'no backbone', one thing i can tell you is: HE IS THAT WAY

nothing you do can change him!!

... no amount of pushing, talking, slapping, whining, "eye-rolling", and showing attitude is gonna change the way he behaves with you

because he is programmed to behave with women that way...by acting "submissive" he thinks he can win your heart

i know it sucks, but its a hard truth

and i'm gonna tell you one more hard truth: you dont like him as much as you think you do

you probably "believe" that you have met the "perfect gentleman" who knows how to treat women very well ...

i tell you what, being submissive hardly makes anyone a "gentleman", no more than it makes the local beggar become Tommy Lee Jones by acting "cool"

HONESTLY ask yourself, do you REALLY like him? Would you GIVE him what he WANTS from you (i.e. sex)? If not, then there is very low level of attraction from your side

so follow my advice: think over it, examine your relationship, and break up with him (depending on how long you have been going out ... if it's more than say 3~4 months, then you need to carefully examine your relationship)

trust me these guys can turn into nightmares, since they are the most insecure ones...insecure that they might lose you if you do something wrong ... insecure that if they "put their toe outside the line", you might leave them ... so they want to be (or try to be) in the "safe zone" by acting like a little submissive girl
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zav
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#45
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#45
i think what you have wrote anon is quite a bitter and selfish stement and that you will realise that you won't find somebody who will love u if you keep pushing people away like this
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anjurdsg
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#46
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(Original post by zav)
i think what you have wrote anon is quite a bitter and selfish stement and that you will realise that you won't find somebody who will love u if you keep pushing people away like this
the pimp is talking
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zav
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#47
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#47
(Original post by anjurdsg)
the pimp is talking
I will take that as a complement
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Anonymous #6
#48
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#48
(Original post by Anonymous)
exactly the thing i've been neg-repped for in the past ... so i'll post as anon :mad:

To the OP: when a guy gets too 'mushy' and basically has 'no backbone', one thing i can tell you is: HE IS THAT WAY

nothing you do can change him!!

... no amount of pushing, talking, slapping, whining, "eye-rolling", and showing attitude is gonna change the way he behaves with you

because he is programmed to behave with women that way...by acting "submissive" he thinks he can win your heart

i know it sucks, but its a hard truth

and i'm gonna tell you one more hard truth: you dont like him as much as you think you do

you probably "believe" that you have met the "perfect gentleman" who knows how to treat women very well ...

i tell you what, being submissive hardly makes anyone a "gentleman", no more than it makes the local beggar become Tommy Lee Jones by acting "cool"

HONESTLY ask yourself, do you REALLY like him? Would you GIVE him what he WANTS from you (i.e. sex)? If not, then there is very low level of attraction from your side

so follow my advice: think over it, examine your relationship, and break up with him (depending on how long you have been going out ... if it's more than say 3~4 months, then you need to carefully examine your relationship)

trust me these guys can turn into nightmares, since they are the most insecure ones...insecure that they might lose you if you do something wrong ... insecure that if they "put their toe outside the line", you might leave them ... so they want to be (or try to be) in the "safe zone" by acting like a little submissive girl
There is nothing wrong with showing lots of affection, at least he isnt going to stop seeing her and start cheating on her/sleeping with lots of randoms.

And also whats wrong with being submissive, if girls can be submissive why cant guys be? We live with equality, so guys and girls are EQUAL not the male dominates the female.

Also what happenes if her boyfriend does not want sex? Are you going to tell her to leave him just because he wont shag her? He might not be ready for it, and attraction is not all about sex. But i also gurantee if she likes him and loves him like shes stated, she would definitely want to have sex with him (not that it matters, but to prove against your point)
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anjurdsg
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#49
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good for you
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Anonymous #5
#50
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#50
(Original post by Anonymous)
There is nothing wrong with showing lots of affection, at least he isnt going to stop seeing her and start cheating on her/sleeping with lots of randoms.

And also whats wrong with being submissive, if girls can be submissive why cant guys be? We live with equality, so guys and girls are EQUAL not the male dominates the female.

Also what happenes if her boyfriend does not want sex? Are you going to tell her to leave him just because he wont shag her? He might not be ready for it, and attraction is not all about sex. But i also gurantee if she likes him and loves him like shes stated, she would definitely want to have sex with him (not that it matters, but to prove against your point)
omg you idiot, you completely got the wrong points ... my point is that THAT MAN MENTIONED BY THE OP CANNOT CHANGE ... NO MATTER what therapy you use on him ... let it even be Chinese Torture ... end of story ... now its upto her to decide what to do with this man... jeez
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Ron Stoppable
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#51
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#51
(Original post by anjurdsg)
the pimp is talking
:rofl:
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Anonymous #6
#52
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#52
(Original post by Anonymous)
omg you idiot, you completely got the wrong points ... my point is that THAT MAN MENTIONED BY THE OP CANNOT CHANGE ... NO MATTER what therapy you use on him ... let it even be Chinese Torture ... end of story ... now its upto her to decide what to do with this man... jeez
Im not saying he should change, the OP should just accept him, not all guys are obsessed with sex you know.

Otherwise, the opposite to this person is some stupid arrogant **** who only cares about having sex with her and thats it. I know which i would prefer...
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Helenia
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#53
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Im not saying he should change, the OP should just accept him, not all guys are obsessed with sex you know.

Otherwise, the opposite to this person is some stupid arrogant **** who only cares about having sex with her and thats it. I know which i would prefer...
Why does it have to be an opposite? There are millions of guys in between those two extremes, and most girls would be happier with that than with either end of the spectrum.
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xavier2k3
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#54
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To the OP, be grateful for what you've got, for when it's gone, you will miss it.

regards
--marty
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Anonymous #6
#55
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(Original post by Helenia)
Why does it have to be an opposite? There are millions of guys in between those two extremes, and most girls would be happier with that than with either end of the spectrum.
Im not saying that, only if she does decide to break up ,she should not go for the opposite. But yes, if it does happen, a guy who is in the middle is the best idea.

But she really should not be breaking up with him. She should accept him, like he accepts her as a person. Both are in a relationship, and they do clearly like each other a lot, so that should not have to change because someone is "programmed" to be caring, loving etc... (Which by the way, is good qualities in any human being).

(Original post by xavier2k3)
To the OP, be grateful for what you've got, for when it's gone, you will miss it.

regards
--marty
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jellybones
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#56
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You should tell him, but try and do in a lighthearted kind of way so you don't offend him. Maybe you could tell him that you love him but don't really like public dispalys of affection?

Is this the beginning of the relationship btw? My boyfriend was constantly giving me hugs and kisses at the beginning but he did calm down eventually...
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Ron Stoppable
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#57
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(Original post by xavier2k3)
To the OP, be grateful for what you've got, for when it's gone, you will miss it.

regards
--marty
OP - Ask Westlife:
I should have known I was wrong
When I left [him] for a life in pity
But they say you never miss the water til it's gone.
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Helenia
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#58
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Im not saying that, only if she does decide to break up ,she should not go for the opposite. But yes, if it does happen, a guy who is in the middle is the best idea.

But she really should not be breaking up with him. She should accept him, like he accepts her as a person. Both are in a relationship, and they do clearly like each other a lot, so that should not have to change because someone is "programmed" to be caring, loving etc... (Which by the way, is good qualities in any human being).
I'm not saying they should split up - I disagree with anyone who thinks that's the instant solution. But if something is annoying you in a relationship, it needs to be addressed. It is perfectly legitimate to not want a limpet stuck to you every minute of the day.
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keenya2006
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#59
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(Original post by *titanium*)
thats girl talk for "thats lovely dear, but your not getting any!"
:p: I didnt mean that at all!!...but no guy gets any from me at this moment in time in my life...im not a ho :rolleyes:
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Anonymous #5
#60
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#60
why dont you people accept that being TOO NICE is exactly as much of a problem as being TOO MEAN?

Girls, what do you think? Would you be disgusted by both extremes? Wouldn't you prefer someone who at least has a backbone, but isnt too egoistic?
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