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Was/am I being bullied at halls in university? watch

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    I'm 18 and I live in halls at uni. I made a good effort to get to know the 7 other people I live with at the start in September, but I didn't have anything in common with them at all and they never bothered with me.

    For a long time, they would all hammer at my door all at once at night shouting my name and knocking and if I answered they didn't want anything, so I started to ignore them when they did that. They kept doing it night after night and it got louder when I ignored them. They did this nearly every night before February and since then they still do it sometimes but not as often. I'm on a course where I have to get up quite early a lot which they knew/know and they still did/do it. They play games in the small hours outside my door too, which they do a lot now.

    The day after I came back from the Christmas holidays they told me to clean out my food cupboard because it was a bit dirty, which I said sorry for. I cleaned it out and took everything I wanted to keep like pans into my room to clean them in my bathroom sink because there was too much of their stuff in the kitchen sink to do anything with mine. I didn't eat anything which needed a pan for a few days (I was ill for a week and only ate toast and cereal in my room) and when I went to put my stuff back I discovered somebody had taken over my food cupboard without asking, leaving me with nothing. There was noone else in the kitchen at the time so I put my stuff back in my room. I now keep all my food in my room.

    They have people over from other halls and outside of uni every day and every night non-stop (I hear the doorbell ring and them coming in) and whenever I have someone in my room they get annoyed and a few times they've said stuff like 'You bring back so many guys they could rape us or kill us or anything, so stop it', yet the people they bring in could do exactly the same to me yet I don't make a fuss about it. It's my room and I bring back whoever I want; I don't care what they say.

    At the start I said things about what they were doing but they didn't care and I just gave up and got on with it. I don't speak to any of them out of choice and only say hi if I see them in the corridor. I cook when I get up early in the morning and put things in foil in my room to eat when I get back so I don't have to go in the kitchen when people are in there (sometimes when I don't have to get up early too, other times I don't bother and just east toast and cereal in my room for the day.) I know should say something and I want to but I'm scared things will get worse.

    Am I overreacting or was/am I being bullied in halls? Thanks.
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    Sounds like it. I don't know what to say, you really should say something but they sound the type to gang up on you which will be hell for the rest of the year.
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    Oooh that's awful, I feel bad for you as I know very well how much a bad living situation brings you down in every department.

    My advice would be to try and move out. You often have a lot more control than you realise. You just don't need this stress, and it sounds like they're too in their nappies to be worth trying to talk to/sort it out with.

    I find their comments about you and guys quite interesting. Are they guys or girls? Smells like jealousy to me.
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    I feel so sorry for you, it really does sound like bullying. It's a real shame to see grown adults acting like it's still Year 9.

    As another user has said, my advice is to get out of there. Report them if you have to, you shouldn't have to live under those conditions.
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    (Original post by Rainbowscarf)
    I'm 18 and I live in halls at uni. I made a good effort to get to know the 7 other people I live with at the start in September, but I didn't have anything in common with them at all and they never bothered with me.

    For a long time they would all hammer at my door all at once at night shouting my name and knocking and if I answered they didn't want anything so I started to ignore them when they did that. They kept doing it night after night and it got louder when I ignored the. They did this nearly every night before February and since then they still do it sometimes but not as often. I'm on a course where I have to get up quite early a lot which they knew/know and they still did/do it. They play games in the small hours outside my door too.

    The day after I came back from the Christmas holidays they told me to clean out my foo cupboard because it was a bit dirty, which I said sorry for. I cleaned it out and took everything I wanted to keep like pans into my room to clean them in my bathroom sink because there was too much of their stuff in the kitchen sink to do anything with mine. I didn't eat anything which needed a pan for a few days (I was ill for a week and only ate toast and cereal in my room) and when I went to put my stuff back I discovered somebody had taken over my food cupboard without asking, leaving me with nothing. There was noone else in the kitchen at the time so I put my stuff back in my room. I know keep all my food in my room.

    They have people over from other halls and outside of uni every day and every night non-stop (I hear the doorbell ring and them coming in) and whenever I have someone in my room they get annoyed and a few times they've said stuff like 'You bring back so many guys they could rape us or kill us or anything, so stop it', yet the people they bring in could do exactly the same to me yet I don't make a fuss about it. It's my room and I bring back whoever I want I don't care what they say.

    At the start I said things about what they were doing but they didn't care and I just gave up and got on with it. I don't speak to any of them out of choice and only say hi if I see them in the corridor. I cook when I get up early in the morning and put things in foil in my room to eat when I get back so I don't have to go in the kitchen when people are in there (sometimes when I don't have to get up early too, other times I don't bother and just east toast and cereal in my room for the dat). I know should say something and I want to but I'm scared things will get worse.

    Am I overreacting or was/am I being bullied in halls? Thanks.
    Raise the issue again .
    If they annoy you at night, annoy them in the morning! Leave your room to go to Uni playing some LOUD BASE!
    Also take back your cupboard! It's yours!
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    (Original post by Yidette)
    Oooh that's awful, I feel bad for you as I know very well how much a bad living situation brings you down in every department.

    My advice would be to try and move out. You often have a lot more control than you realise. You just don't need this stress, and it sounds like they're too in their nappies to be worth trying to talk to/sort it out with.

    I find their comments about you and guys quite interesting. Are they guys or girls? Smells like jealousy to me.
    Thank you. My contract ends at the end of June so I'll be moving out then and my rent for the next 3 months comes out next week so I don't think I can move until my contract is up.

    I live with 5 girls and 2 guys. I might go to the halls office when I get back and see if they can do anything for me.
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    (Original post by Rainbowscarf)
    Thank you. My contract ends at the end of June so I'll be moving out then and my rent for the next 3 months comes out next week so I don't think I can move until my contract is up.

    I live with 5 girls and 2 guys. I might go to the halls office when I get back and see if they can do anything for me.
    Definitely do that. If you're in halls, then I imagine the rent can simply be carried on to your next place, if it's an identical room.

    Ahhh, majority girls you say. Hmmmm! They're jealous, and the guys want them so they're chiming in.

    That's my analysis, and it's final. Do what you can to move out, don't just go 'oh well, not much longer left now...', this isn't supposed to be an endurance test and it's going to continue affecting your happiness. So moving is definitely worth the hassle.
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    Yep, you're being bullied. I know it's not the answer you want to hear but it sounds like they're not expecting a confrontation and so if you confront them then they will possibly back off.
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    Hell,

    Im very sorry to hear about this, it sounds terrible.
    My advice would be to go to the hall people on campus and tell them what is going on and ask you move flats. There are usually spare rooms available, it's not great for you to have to live with these infantile morons.

    Hope it all gets worked out

    chin up chum x
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    Bullying and harrassment in the school /college or workplace is illegal. Make an appointment to see your Personal Tutor or Student Counsellor. [Don`t know the exact name,I`m not a student]. YOU MUST TELL SOMEONE IN AUTHORITY about this. It is disgraceful behaviour. They should be thrown out of Uni for treating someone in such a way. Also,tell your parents. Not to worry them,but i`m sure they would want to know. Plus,if they are loving and supportive,if YOU don`t do anything,they will.!!
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    Oh one more thing. If you move ,which I hope you do; If someone in accommodation asks you why you wish to move,then TELL THEM THE TRUTH. The Uni really ought to know,in case they start doing the same thing to someone else who moves in with them after you.
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    I have flatmates like this, I tried to be nice and friendly but throughout the whole two terms, they bang on my door at 4am they eat my food i made a pizza for myself and by the time i came to eat it they had eaten it, they ate the cake i had made to take home for my boyfriends birthday, theyve smashed my plates use my stuff take my fridge and freezer space.

    I tried to talk to them abotu it nicely but now and im probably in the wrong for doing this but im at the end of my teather take no ****. I take their stuff out of my freezer or fridge and leave it on the side, i tell them im going to put in a noise complaint, etc you should just stand up to your flatmates just think one more term then you never have to see them aga8in
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    Personally I think you're over-reacting. That's university halls for you, it's going to be loud and lots of drunken behaviour going on. They seem really immature but things like that happen to everyone. If you were friends with them you would think it's just banter/fun but now everything seems to be grating on you. You can't make them like you/you like them but that's life.

    Have you thought about trying to get on with them? Sometimes you don't need to have things in common to be friends, thinking about it I don't know what I have in common with my friends except our friendship! haha.

    It's only for a few more months
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    (Original post by Rainbowscarf)
    I'm 18 and I live in halls at uni. I made a good effort to get to know the 7 other people I live with at the start in September, but I didn't have anything in common with them at all and they never bothered with me.

    For a long time, they would all hammer at my door all at once at night shouting my name and knocking and if I answered they didn't want anything, so I started to ignore them when they did that. They kept doing it night after night and it got louder when I ignored them. They did this nearly every night before February and since then they still do it sometimes but not as often. I'm on a course where I have to get up quite early a lot which they knew/know and they still did/do it. They play games in the small hours outside my door too, which they do a lot now.

    The day after I came back from the Christmas holidays they told me to clean out my food cupboard because it was a bit dirty, which I said sorry for. I cleaned it out and took everything I wanted to keep like pans into my room to clean them in my bathroom sink because there was too much of their stuff in the kitchen sink to do anything with mine. I didn't eat anything which needed a pan for a few days (I was ill for a week and only ate toast and cereal in my room) and when I went to put my stuff back I discovered somebody had taken over my food cupboard without asking, leaving me with nothing. There was noone else in the kitchen at the time so I put my stuff back in my room. I now keep all my food in my room.

    They have people over from other halls and outside of uni every day and every night non-stop (I hear the doorbell ring and them coming in) and whenever I have someone in my room they get annoyed and a few times they've said stuff like 'You bring back so many guys they could rape us or kill us or anything, so stop it', yet the people they bring in could do exactly the same to me yet I don't make a fuss about it. It's my room and I bring back whoever I want; I don't care what they say.

    At the start I said things about what they were doing but they didn't care and I just gave up and got on with it. I don't speak to any of them out of choice and only say hi if I see them in the corridor. I cook when I get up early in the morning and put things in foil in my room to eat when I get back so I don't have to go in the kitchen when people are in there (sometimes when I don't have to get up early too, other times I don't bother and just east toast and cereal in my room for the dat). I know should say something and I want to but I'm scared things will get worse.

    Am I overreacting or was/am I being bullied in halls? Thanks.

    What do your housemates mean? Aren't those guys your mates or something? :curious:
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    What they're doing is horrible. You'd think that people at university would be more mature than that. I could feel you because I went through the same experience at uni and the only thing that helped was contacting the accommodation office, explaining my situation calmly to them and asked for a move to a different hall. Luckily I was put with some great people and the uni experience went bettet. I wish the OP best of luck...

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    ****ing children, you're all in university. You'd expect everyone to act like adults.

    Dude, move out. If their behavior drags you down, your grades will go down. Wish I was in your hall and be friends with you, you sound like a nice guy, especially that you made an effort to make friends. That takes balls.

    Good luck.
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    Speak to the student warden...

    or make friends with a few big mean looking burly black guys and invite them home for a few drinks. Then see how quickly those little ****s start respecting you.
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    Definitely bullying. I was subjected to this sort of immature behaviour when I was in halls, albeit on a much smaller scale and only occasionally rather than all the time.

    You could just move out but personally I think these people should be made to take responsibility for their actions. Get the University involved, preferably by raising a formal complaint against them.
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    I'm sorry to hear this, it sounds horrible.

    It sounds to me like bullying, subtle and unnoticable to others it may be, even to those doing it, but it's definitely bullying.

    I hope you get it sorted, OP.
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    Yes it is and you do not deserve this. Get as much evidence as you can and go to as many authority figures as possible, your warden/hall tutor, personal tutor, anyone possible. Move out as soon as possible as well. God how I hate little s***ts like this (met a few in my time at uni too)
 
 
 
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