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    Please bear with me, this might end up incredibly long as it's quite complicated.

    When I was 14, I started chatting to a guy online who was 17 and lived in London (I live in Scotland). We chatted for around 1.5 years and I thought I was madly in love with him, as you do at that age. Eventually, he cut off contact and told me that we couldn't even talk anymore and I was gutted. I found out at the end of 2007 that the reason he'd cut contact with me was because he had a girlfriend, and a baby on the way. And he was 24 when we spoke, not 17. I got on with my life and didn't think about him much after that, I had no way of getting in touch with him anyway.

    A few months ago, I decided to Google him out of curiosity and was shocked to stumble across a news article with a picture of him. Basically, his dad had passed away and I wanted to send my condolences so I eventually managed to find him on Facebook (he had blocked me before) and I sent him a message from a different account, not expecting him to reply. He did reply, and we've been chatting again over the past few months.

    The messages started off innocently at first and I didn't think much of it, but eventually they ended up getting a bit flirty and suggestive. I had a trip to London planned and told him about it, and he offered to meet me to show me the sights. I didn't think he would, but I went along with it anyway. About a week before I went to London, I got a phone call from his girlfriend and then she messaged me on Facebook. She'd seen the messages and wanted to know what was going on, and weirdly we ended up in a conversation and she told me that she asks herself why she's with him and that she doesn't want to break up the relationship between him and their child.

    I went to London last week, and he met me one afternoon. It was pretty surreal, considering it's been over 7 years now since we first started talking. I'm 21 now, he's 31. He ended up kissing me, and I know it was wrong but I didn't stop him. He left about dinner time to get back home, and as soon as he left, I just broke down in tears. I was almost hoping that when I met him, I'd think he was a bit weird or not be that bothered, but it was like all these feelings came flooding back all at once. I told him I felt miserable once he'd left, and he managed to come back that night to see me. We ended up sleeping together - again, wrong I know, but it just felt right. Again, he had to leave me.

    We talked a lot, and he pretty much echoed what his gf had told me. He said he can't leave her because their son means everything to him. He doesn't want to be one of those part-time dads who only sees their kid at weekends, and he got pretty upset talking about it. He says him and gf don't get on.

    I know that the first thing to think reading this would be that I shouldn't have met him, he has a girlfriend and is unavailable, I'm a homewrecker or something... But I really just need honest opinions on this horrible situation. I'm back in Scotland now, and I feel so low and depressed at the thought of being 100s of miles away from him again. He's told me it won't be a one-time thing, and that maybe things will be different when I move down south in September.

    I just don't know how to convince him that staying with someone for the sake of a child isn't right. I understand where he's coming from and I know it's difficult, but I don't want him to regret staying in an unhappy relationship when he's older and the child has grown up. And I know it's unlikely for men in relationships to leave for the 'other woman' but if even his girlfriend has admitted they're only together for a child, isn't it just a matter of time before one of them has had enough and leaves?

    I absolutely hate the sneaking around and only being able to text him at certain times of day. He calls me on his lunch at work and texts when he can, and he wants to meet me next month but I just hate that I'm so far away and he's at home living a completely different life. I don't want to just be a bit of fun for him, a distraction from his relationship. Normally, I'd be cynical and think that he's just saying what I want to hear about only being with her because of the child but the thing is, she's admitted that too.

    I don't want to be the homewrecker, I don't want to cause trouble and I know that I could ruin everything between them if I wanted to - I could easily message her and ruin everything. But I don't want to do that, there's a child involved and it isn't fair on anyone. Similarly, I don't want her to find out by him slipping up. I guess I want him to realize that he shouldn't be with her, and leave of his own accord. But I can't even ask him to do that, because it would be like asking him to choose me over his child.

    It's such a messed up situation, and if you've read all of this then I applaud you, I really do! Any advice would really be appreciated. Please don't just tell me to leave it and forget about him, because I just can't do that, it's out of the question. x
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    what you did was disgusting there is no excuse for what you did you knew he had a child and a girlfriend, you even haad the cheek to talk to the girlfriend and then go sleep with her partner.

    Yes people will say you had no moral obligation to his girlfriend hes in the wrong but really i dont understand how you could do what you did.

    you need to let him go, even if he does leave his girlfriend for you why do you think he'd stick around with you? he'll get bored of you after a while and go find another young girl to sleep with and then dump him. Once a cheat always a cheat he sounds like some low life scum bag that really his girlfriend needs to chuck. He also sounds like a creep he tried to seduce you when you were 14.

    Im sorry to sound nasty but 1) I think your head over heels and need to realise this guy is a lying cheating scumbag your not an exception your no better than his girlfriend its not going to end in a happy fairytale if he leaves her for you, he will then leave you when the next girl comes along
    2) If he;s been with his girlfriend for over 7 years i dont think he's suddanly going to leave her for you
    3) Your sex, if he 'cared' he wouldnt have popped back to sleep with you, he wouldnt be sneaking around he'd have left his girlfirned.


    I realise i may be coming across harsh but what you doing is wrong and the only person whose going to end up hurt in this mess is you, and you are going to look like that bad one and the other woman, if you really want him ask him to leave his girlfriend but i guarntee although he may tell you he will he wont actually ever walk away from her for you
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    Can I just asked, how did he jump from 17 to 31 in 7 years?

    Or did he say he was 17 when he was really 24?
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    You disgusting women, just ruined a kids life. WELL DONE
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    (Original post by Scienceisgood)
    Can I just asked, how did he jump from 17 to 31 in 7 years?

    Or did he say he was 17 when he was really 24?
    He lied about his age saying he was 17 when he was 24. Which should set off alarm bells anyway I would say.
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    1st thing I though was that this has to be a wind up


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    I know this may sound hard but, I think it best you two don't see each other again.
    This is not going to benefit the child at all in the future and I think it is important that the child has both parents if possible and if you being there is going to jeopardise it, 2 or possibly 3 people's lives will be affected in a negative way.

    Sorry but is the honest truth.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please bear with me, this might end up incredibly long as it's quite complicated.

    When I was 14, I started chatting to a guy online who was 17 and lived in London (I live in Scotland). We chatted for around 1.5 years and I thought I was madly in love with him, as you do at that age. Eventually, he cut off contact and told me that we couldn't even talk anymore and I was gutted. I found out at the end of 2007 that the reason he'd cut contact with me was because he had a girlfriend, and a baby on the way. And he was 24 when we spoke, not 17. I got on with my life and didn't think about him much after that, I had no way of getting in touch with him anyway.

    A few months ago, I decided to Google him out of curiosity and was shocked to stumble across a news article with a picture of him. Basically, his dad had passed away and I wanted to send my condolences so I eventually managed to find him on Facebook (he had blocked me before) and I sent him a message from a different account, not expecting him to reply. He did reply, and we've been chatting again over the past few months.

    The messages started off innocently at first and I didn't think much of it, but eventually they ended up getting a bit flirty and suggestive. I had a trip to London planned and told him about it, and he offered to meet me to show me the sights. I didn't think he would, but I went along with it anyway. About a week before I went to London, I got a phone call from his girlfriend and then she messaged me on Facebook. She'd seen the messages and wanted to know what was going on, and weirdly we ended up in a conversation and she told me that she asks herself why she's with him and that she doesn't want to break up the relationship between him and their child.

    I went to London last week, and he met me one afternoon. It was pretty surreal, considering it's been over 7 years now since we first started talking. I'm 21 now, he's 31. He ended up kissing me, and I know it was wrong but I didn't stop him. He left about dinner time to get back home, and as soon as he left, I just broke down in tears. I was almost hoping that when I met him, I'd think he was a bit weird or not be that bothered, but it was like all these feelings came flooding back all at once. I told him I felt miserable once he'd left, and he managed to come back that night to see me. We ended up sleeping together - again, wrong I know, but it just felt right. Again, he had to leave me.

    We talked a lot, and he pretty much echoed what his gf had told me. He said he can't leave her because their son means everything to him. He doesn't want to be one of those part-time dads who only sees their kid at weekends, and he got pretty upset talking about it. He says him and gf don't get on.

    I know that the first thing to think reading this would be that I shouldn't have met him, he has a girlfriend and is unavailable, I'm a homewrecker or something... But I really just need honest opinions on this horrible situation. I'm back in Scotland now, and I feel so low and depressed at the thought of being 100s of miles away from him again. He's told me it won't be a one-time thing, and that maybe things will be different when I move down south in September.

    I just don't know how to convince him that staying with someone for the sake of a child isn't right. I understand where he's coming from and I know it's difficult, but I don't want him to regret staying in an unhappy relationship when he's older and the child has grown up. And I know it's unlikely for men in relationships to leave for the 'other woman' but if even his girlfriend has admitted they're only together for a child, isn't it just a matter of time before one of them has had enough and leaves?

    I absolutely hate the sneaking around and only being able to text him at certain times of day. He calls me on his lunch at work and texts when he can, and he wants to meet me next month but I just hate that I'm so far away and he's at home living a completely different life. I don't want to just be a bit of fun for him, a distraction from his relationship. Normally, I'd be cynical and think that he's just saying what I want to hear about only being with her because of the child but the thing is, she's admitted that too.

    I don't want to be the homewrecker, I don't want to cause trouble and I know that I could ruin everything between them if I wanted to - I could easily message her and ruin everything. But I don't want to do that, there's a child involved and it isn't fair on anyone. Similarly, I don't want her to find out by him slipping up. I guess I want him to realize that he shouldn't be with her, and leave of his own accord. But I can't even ask him to do that, because it would be like asking him to choose me over his child.

    It's such a messed up situation, and if you've read all of this then I applaud you, I really do! Any advice would really be appreciated. Please don't just tell me to leave it and forget about him, because I just can't do that, it's out of the question. x
    1. You first started talking when you were 14 and he was 24. You don't think that's a little peculiar?
    2. You've only met a few times. I think you're more in love with the idea of him not actually with him.
    3. He lied about his age at first then kept his girlfriend and child quiet. What else is he lying about?
    4. He cheated with you, so he would most probably cheat on you.
    5. He sounds like a bloody weirdo and honestly I think you're being stupid getting involved.
    6. What you've done is out of order. When he blocked you you should have taken the hint. You sound a bit obsessive.
    7. You'll always come second to his kid. If that's his reason for staying with his .gf don't expect it to change. However I think it's a load of bull**** and he's just enjoying having a bit on the side. To him you are fresh easy meat.
    8. If he loved you he wouldn't be sneaking around. He'd be doing whatever he could do to be with yo and make things work.
    9. He's a douchebag.
    10. You sound incredibly naive and gullible

    Get him out of your life
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    so he lied and he cheated damn girl thats definitely a keeper. what stops him doing the same to you if you get him?
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    There seems to be a HUGE discrepancy between what you say you 'want', or 'don't want', and what you actually DO.

    You DID want to be the homewrecker, you consciously weighed up the consequences of your actions before sleeping with him, and you did it anyway, fully aware of the circumstances. Who do you think you're going to fool, telling us that 'you don't want to be a homewrecker' after that? If you didn't want to, you would not have done it. In that moment, it was worth being the homewrecker. In that moment, you simply did not CARE that he has a CHILD and a GIRLFRIEND.

    You just wanted what YOU wanted, didn't you? Just admit it. You were selfish and should be totally ashamed of yourself. And now, to reinforce your pathetic behaviour, you're telling us that letting him go is 'out of the question'?

    Get a grip! Stop acting like this isn't a direct result of your CHOICES. YOU chose to keep messaging him, YOU chose to meet up with him, YOU spread your legs, and now you're trying to say 'I can't walk away from this'.

    Yes you can. You can walk away right now, right this moment, and that is exactly what you SHOULD do, but you're not gonna do it because it's hard and you don't want to. It doesn't matter to you who gets hurt, it doesn't matter that a child's feelings are in the mix - just like before, you're just gonna get what you want and screw everyone else.

    What do you want us to say exactly? Awww, poor you, love is a battlefield, stand by your man? Sorry, I mean, stand by someone ELSE'S man? I can't bring myself to say what you want to hear. You should absolutely walk away, tell him you made a stupid series of choices and that basically, you don't want to be any more responsible for the breakup of his relationship than you already have been. But of course, you're not gonna do that. You're gonna be his meat when he wants it, and even if not - even if he leaves his girlfriend and becomes everything you want him to be - you think that justifies your actions, or his? It doesn't. See you on the Jeremy Kyle show.

    Oh, and one more thing: shame on you for using his father's death as an excuse to throw yourself at a taken man.
    • #1
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    #1

    This kind of response is exactly why I was hesitant to post here.

    It's all fine and well for an outsider to read something, judge a situation and throw whatever comments out there. It's easy to judge a situation, it's not so easy to be the person in the situation.

    Like I said, I didn't plan for any of this to happen and of course I feel guilty about it so please try and refrain from hurling insults and abuse my way. You can have your opinion, I respect that, but aggressive and abusive messages aren't going to help.
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    This isnt going anywhere. He doesnt have feelings for you, he's you for sex and a bit of attention and flirting since he isnt getting any at home. He's lied to you on several occassions, that at least should give you cause for concern.

    Do you honestly see any kind of realistic future you could have with him?

    Leave him alone, let him and his girlfriend patch things up and sort their lives out for the sake of their innocent child
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    a 24 year old was chatting up a 14 year old & pretending to be 17? he sounds like a catch.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please bear with me, this might end up incredibly long as it's quite complicated.

    When I was 14, I started chatting to a guy online who was 17 and lived in London (I live in Scotland). We chatted for around 1.5 years and I thought I was madly in love with him, as you do at that age. Eventually, he cut off contact and told me that we couldn't even talk anymore and I was gutted. I found out at the end of 2007 that the reason he'd cut contact with me was because he had a girlfriend, and a baby on the way. And he was 24 when we spoke, not 17. I got on with my life and didn't think about him much after that, I had no way of getting in touch with him anyway.

    A few months ago, I decided to Google him out of curiosity and was shocked to stumble across a news article with a picture of him. Basically, his dad had passed away and I wanted to send my condolences so I eventually managed to find him on Facebook (he had blocked me before) and I sent him a message from a different account, not expecting him to reply. He did reply, and we've been chatting again over the past few months.

    The messages started off innocently at first and I didn't think much of it, but eventually they ended up getting a bit flirty and suggestive. I had a trip to London planned and told him about it, and he offered to meet me to show me the sights. I didn't think he would, but I went along with it anyway. About a week before I went to London, I got a phone call from his girlfriend and then she messaged me on Facebook. She'd seen the messages and wanted to know what was going on, and weirdly we ended up in a conversation and she told me that she asks herself why she's with him and that she doesn't want to break up the relationship between him and their child.

    I went to London last week, and he met me one afternoon. It was pretty surreal, considering it's been over 7 years now since we first started talking. I'm 21 now, he's 31. He ended up kissing me, and I know it was wrong but I didn't stop him. He left about dinner time to get back home, and as soon as he left, I just broke down in tears. I was almost hoping that when I met him, I'd think he was a bit weird or not be that bothered, but it was like all these feelings came flooding back all at once. I told him I felt miserable once he'd left, and he managed to come back that night to see me. We ended up sleeping together - again, wrong I know, but it just felt right. Again, he had to leave me.

    We talked a lot, and he pretty much echoed what his gf had told me. He said he can't leave her because their son means everything to him. He doesn't want to be one of those part-time dads who only sees their kid at weekends, and he got pretty upset talking about it. He says him and gf don't get on.

    I know that the first thing to think reading this would be that I shouldn't have met him, he has a girlfriend and is unavailable, I'm a homewrecker or something... But I really just need honest opinions on this horrible situation. I'm back in Scotland now, and I feel so low and depressed at the thought of being 100s of miles away from him again. He's told me it won't be a one-time thing, and that maybe things will be different when I move down south in September.

    I just don't know how to convince him that staying with someone for the sake of a child isn't right. I understand where he's coming from and I know it's difficult, but I don't want him to regret staying in an unhappy relationship when he's older and the child has grown up. And I know it's unlikely for men in relationships to leave for the 'other woman' but if even his girlfriend has admitted they're only together for a child, isn't it just a matter of time before one of them has had enough and leaves?

    I absolutely hate the sneaking around and only being able to text him at certain times of day. He calls me on his lunch at work and texts when he can, and he wants to meet me next month but I just hate that I'm so far away and he's at home living a completely different life. I don't want to just be a bit of fun for him, a distraction from his relationship. Normally, I'd be cynical and think that he's just saying what I want to hear about only being with her because of the child but the thing is, she's admitted that too.

    I don't want to be the homewrecker, I don't want to cause trouble and I know that I could ruin everything between them if I wanted to - I could easily message her and ruin everything. But I don't want to do that, there's a child involved and it isn't fair on anyone. Similarly, I don't want her to find out by him slipping up. I guess I want him to realize that he shouldn't be with her, and leave of his own accord. But I can't even ask him to do that, because it would be like asking him to choose me over his child.

    It's such a messed up situation, and if you've read all of this then I applaud you, I really do! Any advice would really be appreciated. Please don't just tell me to leave it and forget about him, because I just can't do that, it's out of the question. x
    Guys although OP knew she was sleeping with someone who had a gf and child, the person who is to blame for most of this is the guy himself. HE'S the one with the responsibility of having a son; HE'S the one who lied about his age and tried to seduce someone who was underage when he was ten years older. That's sick.

    OP: he's essentially trying to make you something akin to a mistress. You're having to sneak around and lie to everyone. You can't be happy being yourself in this situation. You can't be happy with the role you're playing, or the deception you're undergoing.

    'Please don't just tell me to leave it and forget about him, because I just can't do that, it's out of the question. x' <-- Yep, that's fine, I won't do that. You can carry on being an emotional doormat, sleeping with someone who doesn't care about you enough to do the right thing and instead only uses these encounters for his own self-gratification and who lies to everyone, INCLUDING YOU. I won't advise you because, frankly, it's your life. I understand that you've been hurt by him; it's completely natural and acceptable to have been so. However, as long as you continue to perceive yourself as the victim and him as the perpetrator, and as long as you go along with whatever he asks you, then you will be stuck in that toxic relationship (if I can even call it that). I'm not going to advise you to forget it and leave him, because that could almost be counter-productive: you could cling on to this façade of a relationship and hope it will last. However, know this: NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE. He's not going to leave his girlfriend or his kid, and you're going to forever be his person-on-the-side. I hope you're happy with this arrangement, because you're the one who is putting themself there. Only you can change it, and you frankly sound like you don't want to. There is no other logical advice but to leave him, but you sound like you're not going to take it - so how else can we help you? Answer: we can't.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please bear with me, this might end up incredibly long as it's quite complicated.

    When I was 14, I started chatting to a guy online who was 17 and lived in London (I live in Scotland). We chatted for around 1.5 years and I thought I was madly in love with him, as you do at that age. Eventually, he cut off contact and told me that we couldn't even talk anymore and I was gutted. I found out at the end of 2007 that the reason he'd cut contact with me was because he had a girlfriend, and a baby on the way. And he was 24 when we spoke, not 17. I got on with my life and didn't think about him much after that, I had no way of getting in touch with him anyway.

    A few months ago, I decided to Google him out of curiosity and was shocked to stumble across a news article with a picture of him. Basically, his dad had passed away and I wanted to send my condolences so I eventually managed to find him on Facebook (he had blocked me before) and I sent him a message from a different account, not expecting him to reply. He did reply, and we've been chatting again over the past few months.

    The messages started off innocently at first and I didn't think much of it, but eventually they ended up getting a bit flirty and suggestive. I had a trip to London planned and told him about it, and he offered to meet me to show me the sights. I didn't think he would, but I went along with it anyway. About a week before I went to London, I got a phone call from his girlfriend and then she messaged me on Facebook. She'd seen the messages and wanted to know what was going on, and weirdly we ended up in a conversation and she told me that she asks herself why she's with him and that she doesn't want to break up the relationship between him and their child.

    I went to London last week, and he met me one afternoon. It was pretty surreal, considering it's been over 7 years now since we first started talking. I'm 21 now, he's 31. He ended up kissing me, and I know it was wrong but I didn't stop him. He left about dinner time to get back home, and as soon as he left, I just broke down in tears. I was almost hoping that when I met him, I'd think he was a bit weird or not be that bothered, but it was like all these feelings came flooding back all at once. I told him I felt miserable once he'd left, and he managed to come back that night to see me. We ended up sleeping together - again, wrong I know, but it just felt right. Again, he had to leave me.

    We talked a lot, and he pretty much echoed what his gf had told me. He said he can't leave her because their son means everything to him. He doesn't want to be one of those part-time dads who only sees their kid at weekends, and he got pretty upset talking about it. He says him and gf don't get on.

    I know that the first thing to think reading this would be that I shouldn't have met him, he has a girlfriend and is unavailable, I'm a homewrecker or something... But I really just need honest opinions on this horrible situation. I'm back in Scotland now, and I feel so low and depressed at the thought of being 100s of miles away from him again. He's told me it won't be a one-time thing, and that maybe things will be different when I move down south in September.

    I just don't know how to convince him that staying with someone for the sake of a child isn't right. I understand where he's coming from and I know it's difficult, but I don't want him to regret staying in an unhappy relationship when he's older and the child has grown up. And I know it's unlikely for men in relationships to leave for the 'other woman' but if even his girlfriend has admitted they're only together for a child, isn't it just a matter of time before one of them has had enough and leaves?

    I absolutely hate the sneaking around and only being able to text him at certain times of day. He calls me on his lunch at work and texts when he can, and he wants to meet me next month but I just hate that I'm so far away and he's at home living a completely different life. I don't want to just be a bit of fun for him, a distraction from his relationship. Normally, I'd be cynical and think that he's just saying what I want to hear about only being with her because of the child but the thing is, she's admitted that too.

    I don't want to be the homewrecker, I don't want to cause trouble and I know that I could ruin everything between them if I wanted to - I could easily message her and ruin everything. But I don't want to do that, there's a child involved and it isn't fair on anyone. Similarly, I don't want her to find out by him slipping up. I guess I want him to realize that he shouldn't be with her, and leave of his own accord. But I can't even ask him to do that, because it would be like asking him to choose me over his child.

    It's such a messed up situation, and if you've read all of this then I applaud you, I really do! Any advice would really be appreciated. Please don't just tell me to leave it and forget about him, because I just can't do that, it's out of the question. x
    emboldened is everything that is wrong with this story
    underlined what is right

    You should wait for him to leave his girlfriend. He wants to have a relationship with his child, yes? If he's found out to be a child their relationship with probably be strained and she might be vindictive and stop them from seeing each other
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This kind of response is exactly why I was hesitant to post here.

    It's all fine and well for an outsider to read something, judge a situation and throw whatever comments out there. It's easy to judge a situation, it's not so easy to be the person in the situation.

    Like I said, I didn't plan for any of this to happen and of course I feel guilty about it so please try and refrain from hurling insults and abuse my way. You can have your opinion, I respect that, but aggressive and abusive messages aren't going to help.
    I know it is hard loving someone but letting them go is the hardest thing in the world. However, I think if you really love him, either REFRAIN from having sex with him and just be friends or break off all contact NOW.

    Before you ruin 2 or 3 lives here.
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    I know this isn't the advice you want, but I'm honestly trying to help.

    If he knew you were 14 when he was 24 then I'd run 1000 miles, and warn his girlfriend. That's a massive age difference. I understand you wouldn't have known it then, but now you are nearly that age you must be able to see that that's just sick?

    Ignoring that, I would just walk away - for your sake, and for his. I do understand that you don't think rationally when you think you are in love, but to an outsider it looks a lot like you are simply lying to yourself about the entire situation. Major warning signs;

    1. He lied about his age on the internet to seduce a child who was ten years his junior.
    2. He is 31, and acting like a twelve year old.
    3. He clearly has no respect for his girlfriend - if he had any maturity he would talk to his girlfriend, and they might agree to stay together for the sake of the child, and to see other people, or to simply split up. As they haven't agreed that, he has just cheated on his long term partner, so there is no way he will treat you better.

    You shouldn't be trying to persuade him that he shouldn't stay with his girlfriend. He's 31 - he should figure that out for himself, or with her.

    I'm sorry to be blunt - as I said, I do understand the strength of feeling involved. I know it's not the advice you wanted, but I wouldn't feel morally right to give you any advice other than walk away now.
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    I got an applause from someone I don't even know
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    (Original post by Octohedral)
    I know this isn't the advice you want, but I'm honestly trying to help.

    If he knew you were 14 when he was 24 then I'd run 1000 miles, and warn his girlfriend. That's a massive age difference. I understand you wouldn't have known it then, but now you are nearly that age you must be able to see that that's just sick?

    Ignoring that, I would just walk away - for your sake, and for his. I do understand that you don't think rationally when you think you are in love, but to an outsider it looks a lot like you are simply lying to yourself about the entire situation. Major warning signs;

    1. He lied about his age on the internet to seduce a child who was ten years his junior.
    2. He is 31, and acting like a twelve year old.
    3. He clearly has no respect for his girlfriend - if he had any maturity he would talk to his girlfriend, and they might agree to stay together for the sake of the child, and to see other people, or to simply split up. As they haven't agreed that, he has just cheated on his long term partner, so there is no way he will treat you better.

    You shouldn't be trying to persuade him that he shouldn't stay with his girlfriend. He's 31 - he should figure that out for himself, or with her.

    I'm sorry to be blunt - as I said, I do understand the strength of feeling involved. I know it's not the advice you wanted, but I wouldn't feel morally right to give you any advice other than walk away now.
    Thank you.

    I really wish I could walk away. In some ways, I wish I hadn't even met him when I was London because it would have been so much easier to cut ties with him. I'm just finding the whole situation so frustrating, more than anything else. I know he doesn't want to be with her, and the only thing keeping him there is his child. And there's absolutely nothing I can do about that.

    I think I'm slowly realizing that I'm being delusional about the situation though. In my head, it's all happy endings and fairytales and that when I move downs south, he'll see me more and leave her and everything will be fine. Think I need to take off the rose-tinted glasses because I know that's not going to happen. x
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    24 seducing a 14 year old...doesn't that kinda make him a pedophile? :confused:
 
 
 
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