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am i worrying about my boyfriend and other girl for no reason? Watch

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    I was friends with this guy for a few weeks and there was clearly a mutual liking. He has this girl mate who he has been friends with for several years. He ditched me at least twice to hang out with this girl when we were friends. He also told me a few weeks ago that he liked her as more than friends. And then a few days after said he didnt?! She also apparently got really jealous when he got a text off me.

    However, we are now in a relationship and I just feel really worried. Almost all his friends are girls which I have no problem with- except this one.

    When hes with his friends, he always texts me- when hes with her, I get nothing at all (which i dont mind, but its always when hes with her). Hes been with her today and I havent heard from him in hours and hours.

    I know weve only been together a short while, but you always hear stories how someone runs off with their childhood sweetheart and because of him ditching me on a couple of occasions and not that long ago telling me he 'liked' her and ignoring me only when hes with her, I cant help but feel worried.

    Am i being silly?
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    I think you should ask him about it. Tell him what you've noticed and mention the difference in how he behaves.
    They could just be best friends what do you know about this girls relationships? Have you met her?
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    Why don't you speak to him about it - if he understands how you feel and accepts it then clearly, he cares!

    Otherwise if he goes on a rant and ignores your worry as paranoia then you may as well dump him, if he can't care less about how you feel (as any partner should)...evidently he'd be happier with the other girl in this case.
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    I wouldn't be happy with it either tbh, especially since he said he had feelings for her before. Id say talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel and hopefully he'll listen and reassure you that they're just friends.
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    (Original post by dijay_94)
    I think you should ask him about it. Tell him what you've noticed and mention the difference in how he behaves.
    They could just be best friends what do you know about this girls relationships? Have you met her?
    I dont know, i know she went in a mood when he got attention off other girls.

    Not met her. Dont really want to ask him about it yet as not been together long he will think im paranoid.
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    (Original post by ss_s95)
    Why don't you speak to him about it - if he understands how you feel and accepts it then clearly, he cares!

    Otherwise if he goes on a rant and ignores your worry as paranoia then you may as well dump him, if he can't care less about how you feel (as any partner should)...evidently he'd be happier with the other girl in this case.
    Weve only been boyfriend and girlfriend just over a week i cant really say anything or he will think im paranoid.
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    (Original post by xStaceyy)
    I wouldn't be happy with it either tbh, especially since he said he had feelings for her before. Id say talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel and hopefully he'll listen and reassure you that they're just friends.
    yep its that what bothers me
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    This probably isn't what you want to hear, but from everything you've said, I'd be worried too. Out of interest, how old are you both? How strong are your feelings for this guy, or are you treating it like a casual thing for now?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Weve only been boyfriend and girlfriend just over a week i cant really say anything or he will think im paranoid.
    considering he told you he liked this girl, i think you're fully justified to bring it up even if it is a new relationship. the longer you wait to confront him, the more you will be potentially upset if things don't work out, so i would do it sooner rather than later!
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    I completely understand how you feel. I've been in a similar situation and tbh, you have every right to confront him about how you feel. See how he reacts. You ARE in a relationship together and it doesn't matter how long, you got every right. If he reacts badly then he's not worth it and will always have feelings towards her. If he respects how you feel, he'd deal with things nicely so that you shouldn't feel this again. Good luck
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    (Original post by .Heather.)
    This probably isn't what you want to hear, but from everything you've said, I'd be worried too. Out of interest, how old are you both? How strong are your feelings for this guy, or are you treating it like a casual thing for now?
    We are all almost 23.

    I like him an awful lot and we are quite serious considering weve only been together a VERY short time
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    (Original post by yen1995)
    I completely understand how you feel. I've been in a similar situation and tbh, you have every right to confront him about how you feel. See how he reacts. You ARE in a relationship together and it doesn't matter how long, you got every right. If he reacts badly then he's not worth it and will always have feelings towards her. If he respects how you feel, he'd deal with things nicely so that you shouldn't feel this again. Good luck
    But I dont know what to say if I do bring it up.

    Hes known her for years, a few weeks ago he said he had feelings for her before changing his mind, hes ditched me a couple of times to see her

    Now Im like
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    (Original post by beccafairy)
    considering he told you he liked this girl, i think you're fully justified to bring it up even if it is a new relationship. the longer you wait to confront him, the more you will be potentially upset if things don't work out, so i would do it sooner rather than later!
    but i dont even know what to say.

    Plus isnt he just gonna say ''dont worry we're just friends'' reassure me, then whats it achieve other than making me look jealous
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But I dont know what to say if I do bring it up.

    Hes known her for years, a few weeks ago he said he had feelings for her before changing his mind, hes ditched me a couple of times to see her

    Now Im like
    Well, the next time he ditches you or doesn't reply to you when he's with her, you can bring it up then. There's never a perfect time
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    Don't bother with him, he clearly wants to get into her pants.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Weve only been boyfriend and girlfriend just over a week i cant really say anything or he will think im paranoid.
    Doesn't matter if it's a week or a decade - it's still a relationship and you've got every right to take this matter up with him...if he thinks you're being paranoid then he's the one being a ********, not you.
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    Ok, a few things.

    You're not going to like this but I'm afraid to say to have this issue at such an early stage on is not a good sign, it sort of suggests you are not in the right place to have a relationship right now, if you are panicking over this. Trust me, I've been there, and you know what I mean, it's just that looming insecurity that tends to jinx things so nip it in the bud right now if you are really serious about this bloke. And only you can know if you are serious and only you can know if he is right. Deep down. Your instincts will guide you and you have to let them sometimes, you know.

    A second thing, you say you are considering things quite seriously at the moment, but to be honest, once again without being harsh, try not to jump the gun too much with things. It's ok to have these feelings of wanting something lasting but make sure to be wary; dont transfer those feelings into expectations - not because it won't happen just because it's better to take things step by step. You know what I mean, it's a bit like solving a long maths problem, you don't jump to the solution right at the end, you pace yourself and take things step by step or you'll never get the working right and you won't end up at the solution. So just take it slow ok, don't jump to conclusions about stuff.

    Someone else has suggested you broach the subject but that's a bad idea. First you don't want to give him the impression you don't trust them and second you don't want to create a rift so early on, and confronting him about this thing will do so. Confront him about this now and you are saying 'I am insecure' - immediate turn off.

    The key to thing to remember here is he is with YOU not her. Why do you think that is? Well there's a reason for it honey and that's enough reason not to be paranoid! If you're serious about him just be confident and relaxed with who you are, and he will find that more alluring than anything this other friend has to offer. On the other hand, buckle and things could go pear-shaped.

    As someone who has been there with anxiety and paranoia, it is not a thought pattern you want to get yourself into.

    Above all, turning things over in your head creates negative vibes for you. You need to be calm, chill, relaxed with yourself, you know. As soon as you do that you will be closer to unleashing the real you, and only once you've done that will he be able to get into into you. Watch a film or show you like to take your mind off it. And quit panicking honey. Good luck!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    but i dont even know what to say.

    Plus isnt he just gonna say ''dont worry we're just friends'' reassure me, then whats it achieve other than making me look jealous
    say the truth - that you're uncomfortable that he's spending lots of time with a girl which he has told you he likes. if not, the worry will only build up and there's no point in having to deal with that, especially in such a new relationship.
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    Sounds like he loves her (hence why he said he liked her), she rejected him shortly after (hence the change of tone two days later) and then he gets with you as second choice/rebound.

    He isn't even being respectful and trying to move on or hide it. Get rid before you develop too strong feelings for him. You deserve to be someones number one. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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    (Original post by SummitOfReason)
    Ok, a few things.

    You're not going to like this but I'm afraid to say to have this issue at such an early stage on is not a good sign, it sort of suggests you are not in the right place to have a relationship right now, if you are panicking over this. Trust me, I've been there, and you know what I mean, it's just that looming insecurity that tends to jinx things so nip it in the bud right now if you are really serious about this bloke. And only you can know if you are serious and only you can know if he is right. Deep down. Your instincts will guide you and you have to let them sometimes, you know.

    A second thing, you say you are considering things quite seriously at the moment, but to be honest, once again without being harsh, try not to jump the gun too much with things. It's ok to have these feelings of wanting something lasting but make sure to be wary; dont transfer those feelings into expectations - not because it won't happen just because it's better to take things step by step. You know what I mean, it's a bit like solving a long maths problem, you don't jump to the solution right at the end, you pace yourself and take things step by step or you'll never get the working right and you won't end up at the solution. So just take it slow ok, don't jump to conclusions about stuff.

    Someone else has suggested you broach the subject but that's a bad idea. First you don't want to give him the impression you don't trust them and second you don't want to create a rift so early on, and confronting him about this thing will do so. Confront him about this now and you are saying 'I am insecure' - immediate turn off.

    The key to thing to remember here is he is with YOU not her. Why do you think that is? Well there's a reason for it honey and that's enough reason not to be paranoid! If you're serious about him just be confident and relaxed with who you are, and he will find that more alluring than anything this other friend has to offer. On the other hand, buckle and things could go pear-shaped.

    As someone who has been there with anxiety and paranoia, it is not a thought pattern you want to get yourself into.

    Above all, turning things over in your head creates negative vibes for you. You need to be calm, chill, relaxed with yourself, you know. As soon as you do that you will be closer to unleashing the real you, and only once you've done that will he be able to get into into you. Watch a film or show you like to take your mind off it. And quit panicking honey. Good luck!
    The bit in bold is exactly what I just said to my friend. I think if im this insecure after a week Im only going to get worse not better.

    Im just going to take a deep breath and enjoy being with him and not mention it. Its going to be hard, but like you say, if I mention it this early its just going to flash warning signs for him. I need to just accept it!
 
 
 
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