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What does it mean to be in love with the idea of someone? Watch

    • #1
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    #1

    All in title
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    #2

    Its when you're attracted to someone, don't know them extremely well and build up this perfect image of them in your head, while actually not doing anything about your liking them (i mean asking them out, throwing out a hint or two to see if there's any interest).
    You think this person is so nice, so good looking, so this, so that based on a sample of your positive interactions with them. It happens a lot me thinks.
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    Basically everything the above anonymous poster said. Because you don't know someone very well, you fall for an idealised impression of what you think they are like or what you build up in your imagination about what you think they would be like, rather than who they really are.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Its when you're attracted to someone, don't know them extremely well and build up this perfect image of them in your head, while actually not doing anything about your liking them (i mean asking them out, throwing out a hint or two to see if there's any interest).
    You think this person is so nice, so good looking, so this, so that based on a sample of your positive interactions with them. It happens a lot me thinks.
    This, and even I've been guilty of doing this... quite a lot actually
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    (Original post by Koalagate)
    Basically everything the above anonymous poster said. Because you don't know someone very well, you fall for an idealised impression of what you think they are like or what you build up in your imagination about what you think they would be like, rather than who they really are.
    This. And if you read "The Great Gatsby", Gatsby's love for Daisy in the novel is
    an example which fits with the description above.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Miss...)
    This. And if you read "The Great Gatsby", Gatsby's love for Daisy in the novel is
    an example which fits with the description above.
    Absolutely spot on!
    Read this a few years back, and realized what the f*** I'd been doing aged 14 to 17. It really helped me understand what I was doing, and I made an effort to change myself.
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    I can imagine, because girls generally don't like the idea of approaching guys they like, that they suffer from this a lot more than guys do.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Absolutely spot on!
    Read this a few years back, and realized what the f*** I'd been doing aged 14 to 17. It really helped me understand what I was doing, and I made an effort to change myself.
    It does make you think, doesn't it? I'm doing it for my Eng Lit exam, and when I read the book, it just made sense!

    Not my favourite book though, I must admit.
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    Something I do constantly.

    I agree The Great Gatsby is a fantastic example of this and I'd say Wuthering Heights is as well in a sense.



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    • #3
    #3

    Yeah this has happened to me countless times. I spend too long lusting over someone at a distance before I get the balls to approach and when I do, usually it's just such a let down.
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    I don't think it's restricted to when you haven't made a move on someone. You can be in a relationship but the only thing that's keeping you there is the idea of the person - everything surrounding then, the way you think the relationship would be if only the other person wanted to put the effort in. When you take everything away and see how they actually treat you and what it says about how they regard you, you realise what's actually there isn't worth anything.
    • #3
    #3

    Good point ^^^ though having never been in a relationship I didn't take that into account rather stupidly.
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    (Original post by abc101)
    I don't think it's restricted to when you haven't made a move on someone. You can be in a relationship but the only thing that's keeping you there is the idea of the person - everything surrounding then, the way you think the relationship would be if only the other person wanted to put the effort in. When you take everything away and see how they actually treat you and what it says about how they regard you, you realise what's actually there isn't worth anything.
    That's exactly what i was about to write! You're completely right ; the key is learning to realize that things aren't like that anymore, or really never were. You need to remove the rose tinted specs and see things and that person for what they really are.
    Sometimes we find it hard to let go of someone because we KNOW what they CAN be like, or how they promise they would be, how things SHOULD have turned out... but then thing's aren't as you expected them to be and although it's not right you just cannot shake the feeling that you love the person.. it's sort of hanging on to something that is really dead, but you live in hope, clinging on to what you want things to be and waiting.... hoping that one day it'll live up to that, or revert back to when things were perfect....
    You are in love with the past, or the person they used to be NOT what it right in front of you- you refuse to see it and live int he past/ imagination.
 
 
 
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