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Anyone managed to turn social failure around? I feel like crying. :( Watch

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    I'm in my third year (of four) at university, and having just filled in my yearbook page has really brought home to me how much I've missed out at university.

    All I ever wanted was to have friends who'd go round to each other's rooms etc and have fun, but totally through my own fault, I've stayed in my room most of the time, and never had that. Now I never will. My one hope is if I do a PhD (which I was going to do anyway - not for the friends, obviously), but I'd assume everyone will be more adult then, and I'll never have my youth back.

    What's worse is that I still have a term left, and a year after that, so I'm in a kind of purgatory where I feel I could still do something, but everyone else is getting ready to leave, and they're no longer at the friend making stage. I'd feel weird approaching the lower years. (Btw, it's a collegiate university, so all years are living in).

    I can, and will, join clubs, but the more I do of that the less time I spend in the college, which is where I'll really regret not making friends. Please help me stop feeling so trapped. I'm really shy - even the thought of going to the common room with nobody to talk to makes me feel nervous.

    I'm a really nice person, but that's never enough to make friends. I was like this at school too - I literally have the social skills of a fourteen year old. How do I go about really changing my life, in a way that won't just fail?

    Sorry - I know there are people with far, far worse problems, but I'd appreciate any advice you can give
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    You just have to put yourself out there, and realise it won't be easy. You'll get rejected. A lot. But in the end, you'll learn how to handle these situations, and be happy you did.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in my third year (of four) at university, and having just filled in my yearbook page has really brought home to me how much I've missed out at university.

    All I ever wanted was to have friends who'd go round to each other's rooms etc and have fun, but totally through my own fault, I've stayed in my room most of the time, and never had that. Now I never will. My one hope is if I do a PhD (which I was going to do anyway - not for the friends, obviously), but I'd assume everyone will be more adult then, and I'll never have my youth back.

    What's worse is that I still have a term left, and a year after that, so I'm in a kind of purgatory where I feel I could still do something, but everyone else is getting ready to leave, and they're no longer at the friend making stage. I'd feel weird approaching the lower years. (Btw, it's a collegiate university, so all years are living in).

    I can, and will, join clubs, but the more I do of that the less time I spend in the college, which is where I'll really regret not making friends. Please help me stop feeling so trapped. I'm really shy - even the thought of going to the common room with nobody to talk to makes me feel nervous.

    I'm a really nice person, but that's never enough to make friends. I was like this at school too - I literally have the social skills of a fourteen year old. How do I go about really changing my life, in a way that won't just fail?

    Sorry - I know there are people with far, far worse problems, but I'd appreciate any advice you can give
    Hey, you can make friends just about anytime, and anywhere, just look at the interests which you currently have, and develop those (for instance, join a club/society related to it), and you can then meet and talk to people there.

    Be careful though, there may be people who just want to use you, so stay away from those people
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    You need to try and be less shy. I know it's hard but like you said you're a nice girl, you know that and that should be enough to give you the confidence to get out there!

    Just keep putting yourself out there is all you can do realy. Like you said you're going to join clubs and things
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    Gosh, societies and stuff really scared me at university, so I didn't join any. I think if you don't get out there as much as other people at university you start to regret it at some point. I regretted it during my final semester, but then I realised how great the close friends I'd made are, and I'm not hugely social anyway.

    I wish I could give you some actual advice, but try not to beat yourself up - not everyone can walk into a room and immediately find a friend in there. I still regret it from time to time, but just try to make yourself happy
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    Force yourself. Approach the younger "hey need help..." "I have good notes"


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    Thank you so much for all your advice, you've made me feel loads better just reading it

    I doubt I'll get there any time soon, but you're right, I just have to do it, or end up old and alone with 17 cats. I'll force myself to go out. Thanks for making me feel better anyway.

    (Original post by Miss Jean Brodie)
    I wish I could give you some actual advice, ----- but just try to make yourself happy
    Actually, that's perfect advice in this situation - people often spend too much time worrying about friends, and not just enjoying being young. Thanks!
 
 
 
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