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Found out my boyfriend cheated on his ex girlfriend with me, feel sick :( help! Watch

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    Someone please talk some sense into me

    I met my boyfriend back in October on holiday, he was single as far as I knew
    I've been speaking to him ever since and in January we made it official.
    Now, I knew he had a girlfriend with whom he 'split' with before we met on holiday, they were together a long, long time.

    I know I shouldn't have, but i've just been on his iPad and went onto the facebook ap and his facebook was logged in....curiosity got the better of me and I looked through his messages and looked at the ones between them both, they last spoke whilst he was on holiday according to the messages and they were definitely still together :'(, still living with eachother and everything. He spent the whole holiday with me!!!

    I never knew why they split up, still don't to this day but the thought of him cheating has made me loose all respect for him, feel like I don't know him :'(

    Do I tell him i've seen the messages? If he did it to his girlfriend of 4 years then whats to say he wouldn't do it to me

    I've got that horrible sick feeling in my tummy now ugh :'(
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    BUMP
    someone please reply
    I don't know what to do
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    Well of course you have to talk to him and let him explain himself, but to be honest after what he's done I don't think he deserves either of you :no:
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    He's a knob and I'm not going to try convince you otherwise. He's done it once nothing stopping him doing it again.
    As for whether you should say anything to him, yes.
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    He should have bean clearer, but you shouldn't have gone on his Facebook.
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    Ok, you need to talk to him, find out what happened. Dont mean to put more doubt in your mind but are you sure theyve broken up?

    He might come up with some excuse like i was gonna go break up with her anyway, but im afraid whether you stay with him or not is your call to make
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    You'll have to look at it from both sides here.

    The good side: he was thinking of splitting up with her, but given how long their relationship was he was struggling to end it immediately. So he strung it out a little longer. He would have broken up with her anyway, but meeting you gave him a huge dilemma. He couldn't bring himself to tell you the truth, nor could he risk missing out on you, so he somewhat naively ended up overlapping the relationships. A mistake, but with the best intentions, and not necessarily indicative of a pattern.

    The bad side: you're not the first girl he's seen while he was still with his ex, but just the next in a long line. He doesn't give any thought to loyalty, and will try it on whenever the chance arises.

    Ok, so those are the two extremes. Chances are it's somewhere in the middle. I think the best way to find out the truth is not to threaten him or confront him about it, but simply to ask him. Tell him it doesn't affect your future together (even if it does, this is a good way to make him relax and open up), but that you're just having nagging concerns about the matter. Give him chance to explain his side of it. If you make him defensive, he'll more likely lie about it. Then you can decide where you go from there.
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    (Original post by jwshaw89)
    You'll have to look at it from both sides here.

    The good side: he was thinking of splitting up with her, but given how long their relationship was he was struggling to end it immediately. So he strung it out a little longer. He would have broken up with her anyway, but meeting you gave him a huge dilemma. He couldn't bring himself to tell you the truth, nor could he risk missing out on you, so he somewhat naively ended up overlapping the relationships. A mistake, but with the best intentions, and not necessarily indicative of a pattern.

    The bad side: you're not the first girl he's seen while he was still with his ex, but just the next in a long line. He doesn't give any thought to loyalty, and will try it on whenever the chance arises.

    Ok, so those are the two extremes. Chances are it's somewhere in the middle. I think the best way to find out the truth is not to threaten him or confront him about it, but simply to ask him. Tell him it doesn't affect your future together (even if it does, this is a good way to make him relax and open up), but that you're just having nagging concerns about the matter. Give him chance to explain his side of it. If you make him defensive, he'll more likely lie about it. Then you can decide where you go from there.
    This is really good advice thankyou, it doesn't help that I won't see him until thursday though as he's working away
    I've spoken to friends about it and they think i should ask him, i'm just scared of ruining what we have right now. I wish I hadn't looked now....people need to learn to log out of facebook!!
 
 
 
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