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    Maybe you should message the friends you had when you were doing your apprenticeship. If they were really great friends then they will be happy to hear from you again. Once you get talking with them again then you can try and arrange to meet up with them and hang out. Have you just been looking for jobs to do with your apprenticeship or all types of jobs? If the former is the case then try looking for other jobs as well that can keep you going while you hunt around for your ideal job.
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    I can relate in terms of employment. I'm currently waiting for University to start after finishing College and an Apprenticeship (finished Apprenticeship in January of this year). It is indeed very tedious being unemployed, but you could try further education?
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    (Original post by TheRedBull1995)
    Hi. I would go to college, but I have been told that I currently have higher qualifications than they can provide. I wanted a job to gain experience so I could start moving up the career ladder. I am also desperate for money for a lot of reasons, but I'm not getting anywhere fast.
    What about University?
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    Why don't you join a gym? - get into a class, you're bound to make friends there. If that's costly, then maybe look for your local sports teams and join find a new hobby. If that's also costly, then try reading or teach yourself something new (maybe a new language) visit the library, make friends with the librarians! If that's not your thing, why don't you try writing to your local care home, there are many elders who are just "dumped" there - it'd do both of you good to have someone to talk to. Apply to volunteer in densely populated locations e.g. cafes, hospitals, supermarkets - it's good cause you'll get more work experience and make new friends!
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    (Original post by TheRedBull1995)
    Hi. Thanks for the advice. This would all be possible if I could actually get out and dare look at someone without almost passing out. The idea of gaining experience doing this is very appealing, but walking around by myself all the time makes me feel like a right loser, which only makes the anxiety worse. It's a circle which I am trying to break out of, but every time I come close to talking to someone I just can't take it and end up backing off.
    I watched this film one day, I think it was Matt Damon who was the protagonist. He portrayed himself as the epitome of what fathers should be like to their sons, he said to his son "20 seconds of insane courage" - Most of us are like you on TSR! what sort of person would truly choose to spend their hours on computer (devices) talking to strangers? You're not alone man, all you got to do is blend in and accept yourself. You don't have to worry about anything, just set yourself little challenges like approaching someone and smiling, asking for the time, involving yourself with society - take a bus next time, leave your car. Build your confidence, I really think the gym is a great place for that sort of thing because the classes are really enclosed and private so there's no chance anyone can go in and not talk or interact with another human. You know next time you're buying bread, or milk? Ask the shopkeeper what's the time. Me I think anyone can do anything, I don't believe in people being special I think we're all capable of unlocking greatness but it's within ourselves to do just that. 20 seconds of insane courage my friend.
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    Sorry you're having such a hard time. I think a lot of the advice on here is good - taking up a sport or volunteering would give you a shared purpose with new people and help you meet a range of people. If you're not comfortable with a larger group you could get involved on a one-to-one basis to start with - as someone mentioned earlier care homes are often pleased to have volunteers I know Anchor homes look for volunteers to befriend, read to their residents or help them use laptops/the internet.

    You haven't said what line of work you want to go into, but if it is an area where there is scope to volunteer that might be something to explore as it would give you more experience and get you into contact with people.

    I know this isn't for everyone http://www.dur.ac.uk/counselling.ser...ocial_anxiety/

    but a friend of mine worked through it and said it helped her.

    Really hope things get better for you
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    I think the link that marple posted looks great! You should use this time to focus on your self and the personal things you want to overcome. Keep applying for jobs too. Even if you take one youre not going to stay in. If youre working on your confidence along side a 'starter job' you will have the chance to try out some things youve learned. Then by the time you get to the job you want you will have more confidence and skills to use there and be a success.

    Just working on keeping calm and even faking being confident are good first steps. After all to get a job you will have to go to an interview. No harm in getting someone you know to help you practice questions and answers. They can also tell you if you're giving off any shy/ unconfident body language etc. No leaving all the preparation until the last minute will help you feel less anxious.

    Get a CV makeover which you should be able to access free through the job centre. Dont forget to have different versions to aim at different types of jobs

    If self help doesnt work for you, try a visit to your gp or practice nurse.
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    I think the link that marple posted looks great! You should use this time to focus on your self and the personal things you want to overcome. Keep applying for jobs too. Even if you take one youre not going to stay in. If youre working on your confidence along side a 'starter job' you will have the chance to try out some things youve learned. Then by the time you get to the job you want you will have more confidence and skills to use there and be a success.

    Just working on keeping calm and even faking being confident are good first steps. After all to get a job you will have to go to an interview. No harm in getting someone you know to help you practice questions and answers. They can also tell you if you're giving off any shy/ unconfident body language etc. No leaving all the preparation until the last minute will help you feel less anxious.

    Get a CV makeover which you should be able to access free through the job centre. Dont forget to have different versions to aim at different types of jobs

    If self help doesnt work for you, try a visit to your gp or practice nurse.
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    Have you thought about doing some charity work? even though you don't get paid, you'll meet new people, its rewarding and good for your CV too.
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    (Original post by TheRedBull1995)
    Hey. No, I haven't actually thought about that. Every route seems blocked due to me almost having a panic attack when meeting anyone. I guess I'll just have to go for it, and whether the outcome is good or bad, I've got nothing to lose, right? :confused:

    I'm sure if you work with the same people for a while your anxiety will actually go away. And nope nothing to lose everything to gain lol
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    (Original post by TheRedBull1995)
    I'll try to talk, or at least make eye-contact with someone next time I leave the house. Don't know how well it will go though
    Try and make friends just in general when out and about, a word of advice however until you're settled down in a job for a few years you won't gain any permanent friends. Every time you change jobs, the friends you make won't be around long, so find a job you love and stay there and you'll then gain a few lifetime friends.

    Next time you meet a new person, try and get to know them rather then the basic hello and goodbye.
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    (Original post by TheRedBull1995)
    Thanks for the tip. I'll have to try something to be able to overcome this. It's a scary thought
    Remember making friends isn't a chore, it should be a pleasure. But don't worry - you'll never be lonely in life, everyone always has at least 1 friend unless you're rude to or reject everyone.
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    (Original post by TheRedBull1995)
    I hope you're right, because it's almost driving me up the wall not having anyone to talk to
    You have us to talk to on TSR. Also don't feel afraid to go to a bar or cafe and talk to a few people, you may end up being great friends with them!
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    (Original post by TheRedBull1995)
    Hi. Thanks for the advice. This would all be possible if I could actually get out and dare look at someone without almost passing out. The idea of gaining experience doing this is very appealing, but walking around by myself all the time makes me feel like a right loser, which only makes the anxiety worse. It's a circle which I am trying to break out of, but every time I come close to talking to someone I just can't take it and end up backing off.
    Have you thought about changing the way you look upon your life? I used to be badly bullied throughout school and never had any 'real' friends. I moved to another school for 6th form and even tho I talk to people during lunch time I don't have any 'real' friends. I've got to the point in my life where i'm happy being alone, I enjoy my own company now and don't care what others think. For example, a couple of years ago I would of never gone shopping on my own incase someone saw me from school and thought 'what a loser'. Now, I go on my own all the time as I find it more enjoyable to have my headphones in and be able to shop at my own rate. I also see many people from my school 'the cool kids', shopping their own two without a care in the world.

    I recently got back from a school trip to Barcelona. I wasn't friends with anybody on the trip beforehand as I shared no subjects with anyone. I teamed up with another girl as we were the only girls in year 13 going. The first night I just walked up to another group staying in the hostel and said 'Hi'. It was really hard to do but I was in the mood of '**** it' and if they say go away it's okay cause i'll never see them again as they're Irish. We became really good friends with this group of ten, we went out clubbing two nights and sat around a table on night with a few bottles of vodka singing Queen. I've got them all on FB now and it was the greatest experience ever.

    I've noticed that people don't care or notice we just make ourselves feel paranoid and nothing is worse than that feeling. Also, I used to be quite depressed that I wasn't in a close friendship group (I'm female so not having bffs was a big deal) so I guess I was quite depressing to be around. I guess it's a horrible circle 'Not being able to get friends because you're depressed' 'being depressed because you don't have any friends'. I fount just lighten up abit, don't worry what people are thinking about you as they're not perfect and i'm sure they're thinking the same thing as the majority of teenagers are a little depressed and are paranoid what others are thinking.

    I'm going to South East Asia alone this summer, I'll meet loads of new people but if I don't I'll be happy on my own with a book. You'll meet a friend, only if it's just one. Have you thought about just speaking to someone on FB and saying 'Hi, how's college? I thought I see how're you're doing '

    Good luck
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    (Original post by TheRedBull1995)
    Thanks, I will try this today / tomorrow. Also, thanks for being there to talk to
    You're welcome, good luck!
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    (Original post by TheRedBull1995)
    Thanks to everyone reading this post. I finished from school in May 2011 and had an apprenticeship in the July, I never really had any 'true' friends at school so I didn't contact them again after leaving. In the apprenticeship I had two great friends, whom I also unfortunately didn't contact anymore after leaving that in December 2011. Since then I have basically been alone, I am getting to the point where I feel like everything is pointless and I'll never again have a 'true' friend. I know all this sounds utterly pathetic, but I suffer from anxiety and many other things and I just find it impossible to meet anyone. I just drive my car around all day, every day. I am running out of money now, and finding a job is extremely difficult with only a little experience, even though I actually left the apprenticeship with more qualifications than an instructor there. I don't know what to do. Thanks again.
    You're not pathetic; anyone with anxiety has it for a reason. I strongly suggest you don't take any medication for it but hop down to your gp, he/she should be able to refer you to an appropriate psychiatric or counselling team. The best way to tackle anxiety related problems is to challenge the misconceptions behind them; an experienced professional's perspective can provide clarity and rationality, when deep down you know that your negative-self opinions just aren't right but you can't do anything about them. I know what it's like to battle with negative self opinions; and if you don't get appropriate help, you'll just be wrestling a fight with an impossible to beat opponent, and it'll be even more and more frustrating every game you play i.e. every time you put yourself in an anxiety-triggering situation. Weird metaphor there.

    A good gp will be sympathetic towards Mental health problems; if he or she isn't, you're seeing the wrong person. Same goes for counsellors. Don't give up easy. Find a new one.

    Work-wise it's good to be anxious within reason because it'll stimulate you to get stuff done; fear always has a good side. However too much fear will destroy you.

    Try to stay positive rather negative about the work situation because it's hard for all of us to make it in this life. Try and count your blessings and focus less on career and more on the principles that matter. I find this article helps: http://www.myrkothum.com/get-your-life-back-in-order/.

    Socially, get in touch with those friends you made. I'm sure they will be glad to hear from you. Keep applying for jobs, relentlessly, even silly part time jobs as they are nice little earners and are a great way to immerse yourself socially.

    Trust me, if you want to make it in this life you have to be relentless, sounds harsh but it's worth it in the end. In reality, it's really less about making it and more about the courage, the perseverance and in turn the happiness you find on the way. Keep at it and good luck
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    I don't want to be a **** but everything in your life is a result of your own actions and only you can make things happen in your life.

    Just make things happen. Things like this don't have a right or wrong answer, you just need to get yourself out there. When you put yourself out getting a job is easy, making friends is easy. Whether they grow to be friends you become very close with is down to your relationship with them of course.

    But just get out there and don't feel sorry for yourself
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    (Original post by TheRedBull1995)
    Thanks to everyone reading this post. I finished from school in May 2011 and had an apprenticeship in the July, I never really had any 'true' friends at school so I didn't contact them again after leaving. In the apprenticeship I had two great friends, whom I also unfortunately didn't contact anymore after leaving that in December 2011. Since then I have basically been alone, I am getting to the point where I feel like everything is pointless and I'll never again have a 'true' friend. I know all this sounds utterly pathetic, but I suffer from anxiety and many other things and I just find it impossible to meet anyone. I just drive my car around all day, every day. I am running out of money now, and finding a job is extremely difficult with only a little experience, even though I actually left the apprenticeship with more qualifications than an instructor there. I don't know what to do. Thanks again.

    I heard first, southern , South West trains and TfL all do well paid apprenticeships.


    You should try and act confident- eventually it will feel natural
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    (Original post by pizzle223)
    I don't want to be a **** but everything in your life is a result of your own actions and only you can make things happen in your life.

    Just make things happen. Things like this don't have a right or wrong answer, you just need to get yourself out there. When you put yourself out getting a job is easy, making friends is easy. Whether they grow to be friends you become very close with is down to your relationship with them of course.

    But just get out there and don't feel sorry for yourself
    Lol, no it's not. Some things aren't. **** happens and it's not a result of our actions sometimes. But it's to do with how you recieve and deal with the negativity; it's about not letting the bad things define you.
 
 
 
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