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Is it worth falling out of family because of money? Watch

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Okay, my Grandparents sold their house about 3 months ago and moved into a old people village of flats. My Grandad died 5 weeks ago and I wasn't able to go to his funeral due to me being on a school trip to Barcelona.

    I did offer to fly home early or not to go at all but my Nan said for me to go. I'm not really close to my Grandparents since my dad died 4 years ago. Technically they're 'step' as my dad isn't my bio dad. However, when my parents split up I did move in with my dad and was always with him etc.

    The last time I saw them was last june/july time. Their old house was a shrine to my Dad, and it didn't feel right me being there. As a child I was always close to my Grandad but I never really had that bond with my Nan.

    This sounds really bad, but since my Grandad died I haven't spoken to my Nan. I arranged to go with my brother twice to go see her but once he forgot to pick me up, the second time he cancelled on me. They live a good 30 minute drive which takes 40 minutes on the train as I don't drive. Because I thought I was going over there I didn't bother calling (plus I had no idea what to say).

    I saw my Brother last week (the first time in months) and I said 'When are you going to go down to see Nan cause I'll go' He answered I went at lunch time. When I asked why he had gone during work he answered with 'To bury Grandad's ashes'. He claimed to of attempt to call me the night beforehand but its not the kind of thing you organise and tell people the day beforehand. This must of been organised weeks ago and I spoke to him 4 days prior. Why didn't he tell me?

    Now, this is the final straw; My Nan has decided to give people the money from the house. She's split it three ways: Gave two thirds to my two uncles and the other third split between my brother and sister...

    I've been left out. My brother and sister are technically 'half' and so their Nan's blood. There's three reasons why i've been left out:

    1. I'm not blood.
    2. My Nan feels its too much money to give to an 18 year old. Maybe she thought it best for my brother and sister to give me amounts from there part.
    3. Because I haven't been down.


    If you can imagine i'm feeling pretty hurt. I don't know who my biological family are, these are my family.

    My sister said she'll give me a quarter of hers as half of hers is going to her kids. She said that my brother isn't giving me any to teach me a lesson... I have no idea what it is (he's generally an ar*eh*le) and i'm use to it. (Oh, he's very very minted, so the 20K he's been given he won't notice it in his account)

    I want to write a letter to my Nan saying sorry and give me apology for Grandads death? I have no idea what to include :/ My sister says it's like I don't care that Grandad is gone but she knows and my brother knows that I cried in public (I never do that!) so that shows how much he means to me.

    But, by the sounds of it I've been disowned. I don't care about money, it's being left out of it.

    I really need suggestions for the letter.

    Sorry for the long essay.
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    • #2
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    I think the most important thing is that you make sure the letter doesn't come across as you writing a letter just to get the money or something, because it could so easily be misconstrued as that.

    Personally I'd drive up and see her. But yeah, you could write a letter anyway. Just write it from the heart. Say you're sorry for not being there when she needed you most. And you know, that you loved your Granddad dearly, you're just not good at showing your emotions. And also that although she's not related to you by blood, she's special to you and you consider her to be your grandmum because that's what she's always been to you. And that it isn't about the money, but it just stings to have her say she didn't give any to you just because she thought you weren't related to her by blood. You know? Just make it really honest and write how you really really feel from inside.

    I hope that helps.
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    I don't understand why you're so reliant on your brother to get you there. I would have just taken the train.
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    I can't see why a 40 minute train journey is enough to prevent you from visiting your grandmother. Why haven't you even spoken to her on the phone since your granddad died?
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Dragonfly07)
    I don't understand why you're so reliant on your brother to get you there. I would have just taken the train.
    Because twice we had arranged to go down there. What's the point paying for the train when you can get a free ride.

    She's recently moved and I don't know where it is.
 
 
 
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