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My best friend doesn't want me to go out with a guy, even though she has a boyfriend Watch

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    Well, there is a guy me and my friend both found good looking. She was pretty vocal about it, and someone someone overheard and told him. His friends tried to encourage a relationship, however, my friend was never actually interested as she has a boyfriend she has now been with for 2 years, and was merely pointing out that he was cute.

    A few months after this incident, I met this guy and we really hit it off. I've heard bits of info from his friends that he may like me as more than a friend, and for sure I feel the same way.

    My friend then went on to meet him and he was under the impression (as he was told by mutual friends) that she wanted to get to know him, and he was also unaware that she had a boyfriend. He was also unaware I was interested at all as it had only been a week or two since we had met and I didn't think I should make a move so fast. So, he kind of said yes to something between him and my friend happening. My friend, even though she didn't want anything to happen, definitely led him on.

    I told her I was kind of interested in the hope she would back off, but she never did, if anything she was extra flirty, arranged to meet up with him kind of behind my back and kept making jibs at me as to say he was more interested in her than me.

    Ngl I was pretty annoyed as to why she would do this, not only because she has a long term boyfriend, but because I'm her best friend and I did make it clear I liked him. It's like she tried extra hard after finding out I liked him, almost to say he'd choose her over me, and I'm just 2nd best because she's unavailable :/

    After realising recently that he wasn't interested in her (maybe because he's gotten to know her a bit better/knows about her boyfriend?), she is now making it out as if he's an idiot, who was rude to her and tried to make a move on her in front of her boyfriend. Tbh I don't know what to believe; knowing him it sounds like something he would NEVER do, but why would my friend lie? Anyway, so now I feel like he's off limits and she's sort of made it clear she doesn't want anything between me and this guy happening.

    I really like him now, and I kind of know there's a chance he feels the same way. But at the same time, she's my best friend and I know it's likely she will play a part in our relationship if we were to become more than friends, and IDK if that's drama I really want, or risk losing my best friend because of :/ If It was a guy I'd only known for a few weeks, fair enough, it's pretty easy to cut the cord. But he's become a close friend over the year and I couldn't imagine cutting him out of my life. It's like my (female) friend is going out of her way to not make us work and I'm pretty hurt by that. This has pretty much happened with every guy I have been involved with over the past few years, and I usually let it go and let her win, but this time a part of me is saying fight for it but a part of me is saying it's not worth it. What should I do? :/
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    It may be hard to risk losing your best friend, but if she is stopping you from potentially have a good relationship with a guy (and by the sounds of it her own selfish reasons) how good a friend is she?

    I would talk to the guy; see if there is mutual interest and if there is hang out a bit/go on a date and see what happens. If there is potential for more than friends then talk to your friend and see how she responds; talk it out and go from there.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, there is a guy me and my friend both found good looking. She was pretty vocal about it, and someone someone overheard and told him. His friends tried to encourage a relationship, however, my friend was never actually interested as she has a boyfriend she has now been with for 2 years, and was merely pointing out that he was cute.

    A few months after this incident, I met this guy and we really hit it off. I've heard bits of info from his friends that he may like me as more than a friend, and for sure I feel the same way.

    My friend then went on to meet him and he was under the impression (as he was told by mutual friends) that she wanted to get to know him, and he was also unaware that she had a boyfriend. He was also unaware I was interested at all as it had only been a week or two since we had met and I didn't think I should make a move so fast. So, he kind of said yes to something between him and my friend happening. My friend, even though she didn't want anything to happen, definitely led him on.

    I told her I was kind of interested in the hope she would back off, but she never did, if anything she was extra flirty, arranged to meet up with him kind of behind my back and kept making jibs at me as to say he was more interested in her than me.

    Ngl I was pretty annoyed as to why she would do this, not only because she has a long term boyfriend, but because I'm her best friend and I did make it clear I liked him. It's like she tried extra hard after finding out I liked him, almost to say he'd choose her over me, and I'm just 2nd best because she's unavailable :/

    After realising recently that he wasn't interested in her (maybe because he's gotten to know her a bit better/knows about her boyfriend?), she is now making it out as if he's an idiot, who was rude to her and tried to make a move on her in front of her boyfriend. Tbh I don't know what to believe; knowing him it sounds like something he would NEVER do, but why would my friend lie? Anyway, so now I feel like he's off limits and she's sort of made it clear she doesn't want anything between me and this guy happening.

    I really like him now, and I kind of know there's a chance he feels the same way. But at the same time, she's my best friend and I know it's likely she will play a part in our relationship if we were to become more than friends, and IDK if that's drama I really want, or risk losing my best friend because of :/ If It was a guy I'd only known for a few weeks, fair enough, it's pretty easy to cut the cord. But he's become a close friend over the year and I couldn't imagine cutting him out of my life. It's like my (female) friend is going out of her way to not make us work and I'm pretty hurt by that. This has pretty much happened with every guy I have been involved with over the past few years, and I usually let it go and let her win, but this time a part of me is saying fight for it but a part of me is saying it's not worth it. What should I do? :/
    Sounds to me like she is annoyed that he doesn't like her more than he likes you and is trying to get between you because of that. She sounds insecure and selfish, and not a good friend at all. The guy sounds like a nice one, worth fighting for. I say, give it a go with him and maybe she will realise that she can't always control you. And tell her that you like him and she needs to respect that and leave you to make your own decisions. And if you do get with him, warn him about what she's been saying and doing as she may try to put him off you.
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    I know people like this.

    Think of her as being analogous to having a boyfriend or husband who is a 'feeder'.

    They want to feed you up and make you nice and fat so you won't be attractive to other men, and consequently won't leave them for someone else.

    She doesn't want you to have a boyfriend because then he will be competing with her for your time and attention. There are other ways they can do this too, basically outcompeting you for the guy's attention and affection, and then drop him when it gets going, and as a result of the previous history, they will be off limits if you want to stay friends.

    Compensating for their own insecurities.
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    It's nothing to do with your friend. If you like him then do something about it.

    She'll get over it and if not, then it's her problem and her loss.
    Is she really that good a friend if she does this with every boy you're interested in?
    Don't let her win. She's done it before and she'll just keep doing it and you'll be unhappy. It's your life not hers and it's absolutely nothing to do with her if you want a relationship.
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    If she was truly your friend she would want what was best for you, and want you to be happy. I had a "very good friend" like this. I was training to be a dancer. You should have seen the look on her face when I told her I had successfully auditioned to dance at the Moulin Rouge in Paris.!!
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    Tell her to get stuffed. Even with my besties I would never give up a relationship for them unless the guy was actually bad for me.
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    As mentioned by others it she was really your friend she would want to be happy and if she has a bf as you mention her opinion shouldn't matter do what you want is what i'd say
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, there is a guy me and my friend both found good looking. She was pretty vocal about it, and someone someone overheard and told him. His friends tried to encourage a relationship, however, my friend was never actually interested as she has a boyfriend she has now been with for 2 years, and was merely pointing out that he was cute.

    A few months after this incident, I met this guy and we really hit it off. I've heard bits of info from his friends that he may like me as more than a friend, and for sure I feel the same way.

    My friend then went on to meet him and he was under the impression (as he was told by mutual friends) that she wanted to get to know him, and he was also unaware that she had a boyfriend. He was also unaware I was interested at all as it had only been a week or two since we had met and I didn't think I should make a move so fast. So, he kind of said yes to something between him and my friend happening. My friend, even though she didn't want anything to happen, definitely led him on.

    I told her I was kind of interested in the hope she would back off, but she never did, if anything she was extra flirty, arranged to meet up with him kind of behind my back and kept making jibs at me as to say he was more interested in her than me.

    Ngl I was pretty annoyed as to why she would do this, not only because she has a long term boyfriend, but because I'm her best friend and I did make it clear I liked him. It's like she tried extra hard after finding out I liked him, almost to say he'd choose her over me, and I'm just 2nd best because she's unavailable :/

    After realising recently that he wasn't interested in her (maybe because he's gotten to know her a bit better/knows about her boyfriend?), she is now making it out as if he's an idiot, who was rude to her and tried to make a move on her in front of her boyfriend. Tbh I don't know what to believe; knowing him it sounds like something he would NEVER do, but why would my friend lie? Anyway, so now I feel like he's off limits and she's sort of made it clear she doesn't want anything between me and this guy happening.

    I really like him now, and I kind of know there's a chance he feels the same way. But at the same time, she's my best friend and I know it's likely she will play a part in our relationship if we were to become more than friends, and IDK if that's drama I really want, or risk losing my best friend because of :/ If It was a guy I'd only known for a few weeks, fair enough, it's pretty easy to cut the cord. But he's become a close friend over the year and I couldn't imagine cutting him out of my life. It's like my (female) friend is going out of her way to not make us work and I'm pretty hurt by that. This has pretty much happened with every guy I have been involved with over the past few years, and I usually let it go and let her win, but this time a part of me is saying fight for it but a part of me is saying it's not worth it. What should I do? :/
    Well reading from your perspective on the matter, she hasn't been a great friend to you. I would say go for it, talk to him more. She is only making out he's an idiot so you don't bother going for him. I had a mate do this to me (about a girl) and I left her...regret it loads.
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    Well, I've given it a few weeks and it doesn't look like me and this guy are going to work out. It might be for the best, hopefully I can start afresh when I go to university and there won't be such interference It's a shame because I do like this guy, but I feel like I should let go now because we have drifted apart a bit. Idk if I should go out my way and make the effort and see if it's reciprocated? But I'm more likely to just leave it be!
 
 
 
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