In love with the guy I live with

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From what you've said he likes you. Period. Just tell him how you feel and ask how he feels.

Say I did do this... What are the best ways to tell someone something like this? I'm fairly clueless to all this, especially with guys as I thought I was gay for a long time (I'm very rarely attracted to men).

Reply 21

username521617

Original post by Anonymous

If you're not very sure he likes you too (and by the sounds of things he probably does), perhaps don't tell him flat-out, but try making subtle advances either physically or emotionally. Find opportunities to touch him often, drop hints about him being attractive and so forth and crank up the sexual tension. Heck, even be a bit naughty around him. If he's still being shy, just throw caution to the wind and go for it - guys do like it when girls make the first move (it means we don't have pucker up the courage and make the effort ourselves). And if on the odd chance he doesn't like you after-all, you just have to deal with a bit of awkwardness. You have little to lose and a lot to gain, and the odds are most likely on your side here. :smile:

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 22

kunoichi

Original post by Anonymous

He did spend a long time explaining to me about his nervousness around approaching women now and how he wishes they would make the first move. Do you think that might have significance?

now youre just being stupid on purpose.

of course it does

Reply 23

TaylorGang_4

It's great when women make the.first move, it shows their strength. Go for it.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 24

CodeJack

Where in the world did you hear that men don't like woman making the first move? it would be a god send and take off so much pressure from guys of more girls did it. To me it sounds like he likes you and making a move wouldnt hurt.

Reply 25

Evangelica

Original post by Anonymous

Hi

So. Since I met the guy I am now living with I have felt a certain spark between us, but up until a few weeks ago I was already in a relationship with someone else (now over). One of the (many) reasons I ended things with my ex was because I am so attracted to and interested in this guy.

Based on the way my housemate acts around me (nervous, differently from how he acts with other people, teasing me a lot, noticing things about me, sex-related comments, extra considerate, doing nice things for me and buying stuff for us to watch together etc) and the last 2 nights we spent together (ended up "cuddling" on the sofa and holding hands) I think he might feel the same way. However, he is quite shy and has low self esteem when it comes to relationships as he has been rejected a lot. I think this stops him from making a move, even though by my standards I am being very obvious in showing how much I like him!

So my questions are: is it true that men, even when they are shy, don't like it when women make the first move? How can you either make or encourage the first move in a way that would minimize impact of potential rejection? etc. Thank you :smile:

Been reading through this thread and am so rooting for you two to get together!

Reply 26

Anonymous #1

Original post by kunoichi

now youre just being stupid on purpose.

of course it does

I'm really not; I'm just quite paranoid when it comes to these things. Also, he couches these things in general terms (e.g. asking me jokingly for advice on chat up lines) rather than making it personal.

Reply 27

Anonymous #1

Original post by Evangelica

Been reading through this thread and am so rooting for you two to get together!

Thank you! So am I :wink:

I've actually never felt this way about somebody before. When I'm with him it's really hard to fight the impulse to get as close to him as possible, and just being around him makes me feel calm and contented (somehow at the same time as feeling frustrated etc when there is distance between us).

Reply 28

Anonymous #1

Original post by CodeJack

When you google these things ( :redface:

) you get loads of people advising that women making the first move somehow emasculates men and takes away the thrill of the chase and the "hunter instinct" which causes them to lose interest. Probably total BS in the modern day and age, but the internet is saturated with it.

Reply 29

kunoichi

Original post by Anonymous

If he acts flirty with you, then cuddles up on a sofa with you and says what he did , i think thats probably the most obvious hint i've ever heard in my life.

Reply 30

CodeJack

Original post by Anonymous

When you google these things ( :redface:

Ah thats just advise from girls :P if you want to know about guys, ask one and they can tell you a lot more truthfully, but each guys slightly diferent of course.

Reply 31

slickrick666999

Original post by spocckka

I would love it if a girl made the first move, and I imagine he would too.

I have that ability to melt womens hearts.

Reply 32

Anonymous #1

Original post by kunoichi

If he acts flirty with you, then cuddles up on a sofa with you and says what he did , i think thats probably the most obvious hint i've ever heard in my life.

Oh well then obviously it would be! But no, he said that on a separate occasion from the cuddling time.

Reply 33

kunoichi

Original post by Anonymous

Oh well then obviously it would be! But no, he said that on a separate occasion from the cuddling time.

I still think thats a hint lol

Reply 34

dartanoir

I want you two to get together so badly :h:

I asked out my boyfriend (who is really shy) and basically made all the first moves. It's all worth it in the end.
You have to tell us how it ends up!

Reply 35

Rakas21

If he's shy then the best way to go about things is just to kiss him and then later send a text telling him to ask you out.

Reply 36

jamboogy

They say don't **** where you eat...

Reply 37

Anonymous #1

I'm going to have to do something soon because this is someone I like too much to risk having regrets about being too scared to find out how he felt.

So: what do people think is the best approach... Massive hints about finding him attractive? Asking him outright if he finds me attractive/question along similar lines? Leaning in for the kiss - and if so, drunk or sober? Drunk = less embarrassing if it goes wrong but I don't like drunk kissing and if you're both drunk you have the potential for an awkward situation after where neither person is sure whether the other genuinely wanted it.

Reply 38

Anonymous #1

Original post by dartanoir

I want you two to get together so badly :h:

I asked out my boyfriend (who is really shy) and basically made all the first moves. It's all worth it in the end.
You have to tell us how it ends up!

Aww, it's nice that there are people rooting for me - thanks :smile:

How did you approach the situation with your boyfriend? It's a bit different from many dating situations, I think, in that living with him means that I can't just "ask him out on a date" because it could just be construed as a housemates/friends thing.

Reply 39

Anonymous #1

Original post by jamboogy

They say don't **** where you eat...

Hah. Well this is one of the reasons I've been overly wary/cautious/paranoid - it has more potential for awkwardness and other issues than the average situation.