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    I had to do a group project this term with five other people on my course, all of whom already knew each other. I was considering going with a group of friends instead, but the experiment my group wanted to do appealed to me much more and I'm acquainted with one of the guys in the group so I assumed it would be fine.

    Long story short, they were nice when I met them but they've treated me like complete crap as soon as it was too late for me to pull out. They haven't said outright to my face that they dislike me, but I would have preferred it if they had because several times I've overheard them saying stuff behind my back for no reason: everything from "she's shockingly ignorant" to "she's nice but not much there," to "is there no way we can throw her off the project?" I have tried confronting them about this a couple of times and they've outright denied it, but it's obvious they lack any respect for me - I've heard them laughing about me several times before they've spotted me in the library, for instance.

    There's no good reason for them to behave like this: I've put the most work into the project, get the best grades and am obviously not "ignorant" and have always been polite to them though recently I've just shut them off and been cold and indifferent because it's useless putting in any effort to make friends. They also have a complete lack of social skills: even at the start when I'd walk up and say hi they'd often not reply or say "helloooo" in a weird sarcastic tone of voice as though they were too tired to make the effort to do so properly. They don't have many close friends besides a group of similarly catty people, but they are acquainted with some of my friends and I've heard they've been spreading vague nasty rumours about me.

    Thankfully we are submitting the project before the end of this week so I won't have to deal with them again, but I don't feel like I can just let this slide. I've been pretty cold to them recently but I can still hear the gossiping going on every now and then and I don't want to just ignore it and forget about it.

    What's the best way to have a word with people like this? I don't care if they deny it any more, but I don't feel I should just let them get away with it. I am the only girl and the rest are all boys (but not your stereotypical "lads," if they were they wouldn't be behaving like this) if that makes a difference.
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    There's not much you can do with people like that tbh.. they will probably always be b*****
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    I don't think you can have words with people like that. If they're anything like people I've known in the past, they'll either gossip about you more ("she thinks she's all that") or smile and apologise, and then gossip about you more.

    I reckon you should keep ignoring it. Be civil when you're talking to them, but don't initiate conversation (they'll look/feel childish and you won't be stooping to their level).

    All you can do is count down the days... and don't take their comments seriously - some people just like (trying) to make others feel inferior. Morons.
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    Thanks for the advice How do I deal with it when they're obviously being sarcastic to my face, though? (e.g. sometimes they walk up to me in the library and say hi in a weird way, like they're trying to intimidate me by it rather than have any actual interest in speaking to me) I could probably move on and forget about this but I'm not one to let people walk all over me.
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    (Original post by Ezekiella)
    I had to do a group project this term with five other people on my course, all of whom already knew each other. I was considering going with a group of friends instead, but the experiment my group wanted to do appealed to me much more and I'm acquainted with one of the guys in the group so I assumed it would be fine.

    Long story short, they were nice when I met them but they've treated me like complete crap as soon as it was too late for me to pull out. They haven't said outright to my face that they dislike me, but I would have preferred it if they had because several times I've overheard them saying stuff behind my back for no reason: everything from "she's shockingly ignorant" to "she's nice but not much there," to "is there no way we can throw her off the project?" I have tried confronting them about this a couple of times and they've outright denied it, but it's obvious they lack any respect for me - I've heard them laughing about me several times before they've spotted me in the library, for instance.

    There's no good reason for them to behave like this: I've put the most work into the project, get the best grades and am obviously not "ignorant" and have always been polite to them though recently I've just shut them off and been cold and indifferent because it's useless putting in any effort to make friends. They also have a complete lack of social skills: even at the start when I'd walk up and say hi they'd often not reply or say "helloooo" in a weird sarcastic tone of voice as though they were too tired to make the effort to do so properly. They don't have many close friends besides a group of similarly catty people, but they are acquainted with some of my friends and I've heard they've been spreading vague nasty rumours about me.

    Thankfully we are submitting the project before the end of this week so I won't have to deal with them again, but I don't feel like I can just let this slide. I've been pretty cold to them recently but I can still hear the gossiping going on every now and then and I don't want to just ignore it and forget about it.

    What's the best way to have a word with people like this? I don't care if they deny it any more, but I don't feel I should just let them get away with it. I am the only girl and the rest are all boys (but not your stereotypical "lads," if they were they wouldn't be behaving like this) if that makes a difference.
    Tell them to man up and speak their mind openly if they are competent enough perhaps? Not sure what else you can do since you prefer not to let it slide.
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    Just ignore them, in my experience acknowledging it only makes it worse. Its likely they are just doing that to look good in front of the others and feel better about themselves, I bet they only do it when they are all together? If so just try and avoid them and live through the project.
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    (Original post by Ezekiella)
    Thanks for the advice How do I deal with it when they're obviously being sarcastic to my face, though? (e.g. sometimes they walk up to me in the library and say hi in a weird way, like they're trying to intimidate me by it rather than have any actual interest in speaking to me) I could probably move on and forget about this but I'm not one to let people walk all over me.
    Just say hi back. If they say anything else be civil. You have nothing to be embarrassed about (I'm not saying you are) and you're not letting them walk all over you. It's just... if you say anything you risk coming across as the bad guy, and giving them ammunition. Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing (or thinking) that they're getting to you.

    And I'm sure they know that you know what they're doing. If you ignore them you're belittling them and not being walked over.
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    spread rumours that they spread nutella on each others bootys
 
 
 
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