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Guy meets Girl, falls in love, girl doesnt love guy ... Watch

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    So I met this girl on my course, who i got to know and we got along well. Eventually towards the end of the year I gather up the courage to tell her I like her. However she said she didnt feel the same way. She did this in the nicest possible way and we had a really long chat and despite saying no guy has ever told her they like her and done it in this way (alot of planning went into how to tell her :/) she said she wasnt ready at this point in her life (shes never had a bf before). She said I was the closest guy to her and She was very concerened about losing me as a friend and messaged my friend voicing the same concern. I told her that Id still be there as a friend.. But its hard because i think about her alot. Do you think that I can eventually woo her down ? Im an average looking guy, but like to think i have a likeable personality! Get along with everyone and very socially confident! I make her laugh so humour is there, and there's a connection! albeit that of a friend.

    Basically is this a lost cause?

    Thanks
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    Unfortunately all you can be to her is a friend, best not to push the issue if she is not ready or interested yet.
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    She's basically friendzoned you... move on to the next chick
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    She's not going to change her mind, bro.

    A moment of silence... etc
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    (Original post by ItsDatGuy)
    She's basically friendzoned you... move on to the next chick
    (Original post by sr90)
    She's not going to change her mind, bro.

    A moment of silence... etc
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwhbr2OrZLI
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    Maybe she's just not into you..

    Maybe it's because she finds lads 6'4 and ginger her type and you're just not her type.

    This reminds me of a friend I had in college: He was smart, really caring and a really good friend but I never saw him that way. He was slob with his appearance, his hair was the same way as his mum and he would do anything to get out of anything like work. He was a good person to go to for hugs and a late night conversation. We would regularly hang out, go get food and we were really good friends. I knew he liked me like that because A) He told everyone B) he would make comments like 'If you didn't go for pretty boys who knew they were pretty you wouldn't end up getting hurt, take someone like me who knows how to treat a girl but nobody looks in my direction'.

    He's now engaged at university and i'm forever alone. The good guy does end up on top
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    The dark dreaded friend zone. *pours little liquor on floor for the fallen soldier* I'll clean that up later
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I met this girl on my course, who i got to know and we got along well. Eventually towards the end of the year I gather up the courage to tell her I like her. However she said she didnt feel the same way. She did this in the nicest possible way and we had a really long chat and despite saying no guy has ever told her they like her and done it in this way (alot of planning went into how to tell her :/) she said she wasnt ready at this point in her life (shes never had a bf before). She said I was the closest guy to her and She was very concerened about losing me as a friend and messaged my friend voicing the same concern. I told her that Id still be there as a friend.. But its hard because i think about her alot. Do you think that I can eventually woo her down ? Im an average looking guy, but like to think i have a likeable personality! Get along with everyone and very socially confident! I make her laugh so humour is there, and there's a connection! albeit that of a friend.

    Basically is this a lost cause?

    Thanks


    This sounds very familiar - in fact near enough the exact same thing happened to me 1 year ago - it's really difficult for both of you - honestly speaking - I was obviously the girl - but he really liked me - and I genuinely wanted a good friend and not a relationship - and the bitter reality was he was falling in love - which was really out of my control - I knew I had to stop speaking before he'd get really hurt - maybe you should ask her what her reasons are for not making it work ? And also you need to decide weather she's worth waiting for if her response isn't serious and you can't see - a relationship - then best advise don't loose a good friend - but move on in term of relationships - find someone else who actually wants what you want - I hope it goes really well for you !
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    Hmm...maybe she is not ready.

    When i read the thread i immediately thought - 'OP is not hot, if he was, she would have liked him'.

    Usually when girlfriendzone, it's often because of looks.

    However, i don't think your situation is because of looks.

    If she does not want to she doesn't. Trust me when i say, time is the best healer mate. Don't put women on the pedestal. Next time, don't wait so long before making your intentions clear and known!

    I'd advise you to join the misc, on bodybuilding , they give great advise for physical , mental, and spiritual self-development including awesome advise on girls.

    alpha-brah checking in .jpg
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    (Original post by Annuhlees)
    Maybe she's just not into you..

    Maybe it's because she finds lads 6'4 and ginger her type and you're just not her type.

    This reminds me of a friend I had in college: He was smart, really caring and a really good friend but I never saw him that way. He was slob with his appearance, his hair was the same way as his mum and he would do anything to get out of anything like work. He was a good person to go to for hugs and a late night conversation. We would regularly hang out, go get food and we were really good friends. I knew he liked me like that because A) He told everyone B) he would make comments like 'If you didn't go for pretty boys who knew they were pretty you wouldn't end up getting hurt, take someone like me who knows how to treat a girl but nobody looks in my direction'.

    He's now engaged at university and i'm forever alone. The good guy does end up on top
    LOL, a perfect example of the sugar coated "Oh you're not for me line" being nothing more than animalistic, materliastic bias towards looks.

    I'd be my bank if a 'hot' guy she'd never met or knew for an hour asked her out, the lady i am quoting now would say yes.

    It's just natural selection. It's the bane of my life, and the bane of the life of most guys.

    I would love a girl to be bluntly honest. Just tell me what's wrong with me. NO BS. Tell me where i stand.
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    story of my life this ..... :/

    same happened to me and she soon went out with my bestmate :/
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    You spent too long being a friend for her to ever consider you to be anything other than a friend.

    Learn the lesson. If you're interested in a girl, make sure she knows right away. Ask her out when you start having these feelings, before you are friendzoned.

    99/100 times, she will not change her mind on that.

    Official seal of the Friendzone. Approved.
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    (Original post by MENDACIUM)
    LOL, a perfect example of the sugar coated "Oh you're not for me line" being nothing more than animalistic, materliastic bias towards looks.

    I'd be my bank if a 'hot' guy she'd never met or knew for an hour asked her out, the lady i am quoting now would say yes.

    It's just natural selection. It's the bane of my life, and the bane of the life of most guys.

    I would love a girl to be bluntly honest. Just tell me what's wrong with me. NO BS. Tell me where i stand.
    Everyone takes looks into account to an extent, there's no need to get so mardy about it, would you go out with a girl you felt no physical attraction towards? Even in terms of personality, what you look for in a friend isn't neccessarily the same as what you look for in a partner. Confidence is vital for getting girlfriends, for example, less so for friends.

    So? If a hot girl randomly asked you out, what would you say?

    Some girls just won't find you physically attractive, that's true for all of us, get over it.

    The thing that bugs me is these guys always say "I'm such an amazing friend", yet they aren't happy just being friends. I'm great friends with an attractive girl, and guess what? I'm not actually playing a long game which ends in me ****ing her! I actually enjoy the friendship in its own right.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Everyone takes looks into account to an extent, there's no need to get so mardy about it, would you go out with a girl you felt no physical attraction towards? Even in terms of personality, what you look for in a friend isn't neccessarily the same as what you look for in a partner. Confidence is vital for getting girlfriends, for example, less so for friends.

    So? If a hot girl randomly asked you out, what would you say?

    Some girls just won't find you physically attractive, that's true for all of us, get over it.

    The thing that bugs me is these guys always say "I'm such an amazing friend", yet they aren't happy just being friends. I'm great friends with an attractive girl, and guess what? I'm not actually playing a long game which ends in me ****ing her! I actually enjoy the friendship in its own right.
    When did i say it was wrong?

    I want human beings to hilight this animalistic and materialistic trait, and just be blunt and honest, instead of sugar coating it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I met this girl on my course, who i got to know and we got along well. Eventually towards the end of the year I gather up the courage to tell her I like her. However she said she didnt feel the same way. She did this in the nicest possible way and we had a really long chat and despite saying no guy has ever told her they like her and done it in this way (alot of planning went into how to tell her :/) she said she wasnt ready at this point in her life (shes never had a bf before). She said I was the closest guy to her and She was very concerened about losing me as a friend and messaged my friend voicing the same concern. I told her that Id still be there as a friend.. But its hard because i think about her alot. Do you think that I can eventually woo her down ? Im an average looking guy, but like to think i have a likeable personality! Get along with everyone and very socially confident! I make her laugh so humour is there, and there's a connection! albeit that of a friend.

    Basically is this a lost cause?

    Thanks
    Hey mate, I sort of think you might have waited too long. When you get to become good friends and really close with a girl on quite a personal level, she is typically going to value your friendship a lot. Moreover, that value she puts in the friendship will mean she probably won't want to risk ruining that by getting into a relationship with you and break up if it doesn't happen to work out.

    I would say, as hard as it may be, stay friends with her. Sure, this may take you a while to get back to normal, but just play it cool and do your best. When I started to have quite strong feelings for a close friend knowing she didn't feel the same way, I didn't handle it well - I ran away, lost the friendship and only recently managed to get it back. Don't do that, it was stupid of me and not fair on any level. (Its not an excuse but I was only 18 then.)

    I think you sound like a good guy looking for a relationship; if you're confident, nice to chat to etc, you shouldn't have any problem finding a nice girl who is into you. Advice would be to look elsewhere and not waste your time trying to win her over. Something at the back of my mind says that, at some point, given you're (supposedly) the only guy who's asked her out, she may look back on this and you and realise that maybe she rushed it, i.e. meaning she should give things a go with you. If that happens and you're single at that time, then great. But I wouldn't wait for her to fall for you.
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    (Original post by MENDACIUM)
    When did i say it was wrong?

    I want human beings to hilight this animalistic and materialistic trait, and just be blunt and honest, instead of sugar coating it.
    Your language?

    That isn't what materialistic means, that would mean someone going for money or gifts. Or animalistic, that's got more sexual connertations.

    You say that, but if you asked a girl out and she said "no, because you're ugly, have poor dress sense and smell bad", you'd probably get upset.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Your language?

    That isn't what materialistic means, that would mean someone going for money or gifts. Or animalistic, that's got more sexual connertations.

    You say that, but if you asked a girl out and she said "no, because you're ugly, have poor dress sense and smell bad", you'd probably get upset.
    There are not always two extremes of saying things. And judging on looks is extremely materialistic. Most guys look after themselves. Girls reject based on height, eye colour, nose shape - things inherently in a guys genetic. Guys do likewise to girls. That's much worse than rejecting for money. Money can be acquired, looks and genetics can't. So you stand no chance.

    And a girl can just say "You're not my type sorry"

    I.E you're ugly
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    (Original post by sr90)
    She's not going to change her mind, bro.

    A moment of silence... etc
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    (Original post by MENDACIUM)
    There are not always two extremes of saying things. And judging on looks is extremely materialistic. Most guys look after themselves. Girls reject based on height, eye colour, nose shape - things inherently in a guys genetic. Guys do likewise to girls. That's much worse than rejecting for money. Money can be acquired, looks and genetics can't. So you stand no chance.

    And a girl can just say "You're not my type sorry"

    I.E you're ugly
    Materialism is the valueing of material positions, like clothes and cars, specifically NOT people.

    But her "type" might be more specific, like my girlfriend doesn't like muscley guys. Attractiveness in men is pretty subjective.
 
 
 
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