My best friend who I have known for about 5/6 years now last year got a girlfriend for the first time. I was introduced to her and we also became best friends as well. I got into a relationship for the first time and by the end of November I had broke up with my ex and if I'm being honest, I didn't deal with it too well.
I wasn't used to not texting/chatting to someone constantly and my best friends girlfriend was there for me when I needed someone to cheer me up. She would tell me how I was better off leaving my ex etc and we got talking for a while.
However, I started to get feelings for this girl and recently I couldn't keep it in anymore and I told her how I felt. She was shocked and although she didn't admit I can tell she likes me back. She hasn't told my best friend because she realised that if she did, our friendship with both her and my best friend would probably be over.
We discussed what I should try and do as recently I have suffered with depression and I'm just not sure what to do, I'm just not interested in any other girl as she just grabs all of my attention!
I don't want to step in and ruin their relationship as they are very happy together and more than likely will be together a long time. At the same time I don't want to lose what are my two best friends. I'm just so confused as to what to do, I always think about her and my feelings just are not going away.
What do you think I should do?
I'm in love with the wrong person Watch
- Thread Starter
- 10-04-2013 14:39
- 11-04-2013 00:04
Oh dear, tricky situation. To be honest this is two of your best friends, at the end of the day. And if nothing has happened with this girl thats good and respect for not being a homewrecker!
My advice is, the only way to get over someone, and that is what you need to do my friend, is to not see them.
Now this is obviuosly tricky being your best friends and all, but could you maybe just make up a few excuses and not hang around her for maybe a few days/weeks. Say you're ill/off to stay with family somewhere?
Or confide in another mutual friend who knows you all and can support you through this.
I know its so hard seeing someone you like with someone that's not you. its probably one of the worst feelings a person can experience.
BUT... they got together first, and are happy, and if the girl doesn't feel the same way about you and doesn't want to break it off then you're going to have to TRY and get over her.
I know its so so cliche, but there ARE other girls out there I promise! But you'll never find them being hung up on something that can never/may never happen.
Please try and distance yourself as much as you can, and just think how much worse you'd feel losing them both from your life, for the sake of something which you may look back on in 6 months and think how silly it was and you may be with someone new!!
Also im confused... if they are both happy together then how can she also have feeling for you? She's either happy with her current boyfriend and doesnt like you in THAT way, or she DOES have feeling for you, in which case she can't be totally happy in her current relationship. Maybe you telling her how you feel has confused her feelings as well?
- 11-04-2013 00:07
Oooh also.. going through a break up SERIOUSLY messes you up. I have been there. So please dont mistake your heartbreak of the previous relationship for feelings with this new girl.. you probably are kind of rebounding on her, in a weird way.
Youre lonely, missing having someone there, and talking to a girl who you get on with really well. Youre bound to develop feelings or THINK you are for her..its natural as you're trying to fill the emotional hole left from the previous relationship.
Break ups are AWFUL, but dont try and heal the pain with someone who is 100% OFF LIMITS