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    My family and I no longer see eye to eye, I support myself financially and emotionally in everything. I have come to realize that they are ungrateful people and see me as useless and basically scum. They don't answer my calls, help me out at university -to say the least I am actually suffering.

    I don't want to hear from my mother or father or siblings at all. However, I am so scared about what the future holds if I do this. I won't be able to go home or see relatives. I will basically be on my own. I am a little scared.

    Has anyone done this before? How are things for you now? Any survival tips?
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    Why would you be doing such a thing? No matter what sort of conflict may arise between anyone and their parents, at the end of the day, no one can love you as much as them. NO.ONE.
    take my word dear, for your own sake, no matter what may have happened, or no matter how it seems, go back to your parents. A parent's heart, especially a mother's heart, does not know how to not love her child. No matter what. Go back, otherwise, u would greatly regret your decision someday. Do NOT detach yourself from your parents dear, for your own sake, and theirs.
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    I didn't talk to my Dad for two years... Can't remember why but we patched it all up about 5 years ago and see and talk regularly.

    He was diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago and is now having a load of operations. Sort of puts it into perspective when I think - if we hadn't patched everything up and still weren't talking, would I know he had cancer? Or would I never see him again?

    Plus I know when he does die, I'm gonna regret those two years infinitely.

    Any little spat that's going on is not worth losing your whole family.
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    (Original post by OxfordsSweetheart)
    My family and I no longer see eye to eye, I support myself financially and emotionally in everything. I have come to realize that they are ungrateful people and see me as useless and basically scum. They don't answer my calls, help me out at university -to say the least I am actually suffering.

    I don't want to hear from my mother or father or siblings at all. However, I am so scared about what the future holds if I do this. I won't be able to go home or see relatives. I will basically be on my own. I am a little scared.

    Has anyone done this before? How are things for you now? Any survival tips?
    All I can say is that regardless of if you are related to them or not, no one has the right to be in your life if you don't want them to be. A website I will recommend is captainawkward.com it gives a lot of advice about leaving family homes so you might find something useful there.
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    (Original post by violetta12)
    Why wud u be doing such a thing? No matter what sort of conflict may arise between anyone and their parents, at the end of the day, no one can love you as much as them. NO.ONE.
    take my word dear, for ur own sake, no matter what may have happened, or no matter how it seems, go back to ur parents. A parent's heart, especially a mother's heart, does not know how to not love her child. No matter what. Go back, otherwise, u would greatly regret ur decision someday. Do NOT detach yourself from ur parents dear, for your own sake, and theirs.
    I envy you for obviously having the kind of background that would make you so convinced of this. Not everyone is so lucky.

    OP, if you feel like you want to cut your family off, then there are reasons for that and they are JUSTIFIED. If you do this, don't walk away feeling guilty. They - and by that I mean your parents specifically - have let you down BIG time somewhere along the line, or else you wouldn't even consider it. Do people who were loved and supported as a child EVER think about seriously cutting ties with their parents?

    There's a difference between a 'spat' and an altogether dysfunctional family unit/upbringing. The more contact you have with them, the greater their influence is gonna be on your life, your happiness as an adult. For most people that's a GOOD thing. But if you think your relationships with them have become altogether more toxic than it's worth, and if deep down you know that there's no hope for them seeing your point of view, then go. You'll be alone and this will feel bad until you realise that being alone is by far the better option than being part of a family unit that is ultimately bringing you down, holding you back, and keeping you mixed up with their failures as parents. Is it good enough for you or not? Only you know.

    If you felt this way towards a friend, people would tell you to cut 'em off. If you felt this way about a boyfriend, they'd tell you to dump him. Are we obliged, simply by the fact that we share a gene pool, to keep certain people in our lives even though the impact is mostly negative? I don't think we are.

    PS - And by the way, there ARE people who are gonna love you like your parents should have, and won't make you question whether or not to cut them out of your life.

    PPS - Siblings deserve less scrutiny. They're just as mixed up in all this as you are.
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    oh this is so sad

    if i were you i wouldnt do it. i mean, it is possible that someday you may actually regret it! still, i am not in your situation and havent got a clue of how you feel, so... still, remember that people change!

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    break up with your family?! It would not be the most sensible thing to do. Plus if you have kids later, and they ask about their family, what will you say? I know it might not seem like it right now, but having a family is the biggest thing in anyone's life. Treasure it just in case you do lose it.
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh1PIvbwpS4
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    (Original post by Yidette)
    I envy you for obviously having the kind of background that would make you so convinced of this. Not everyone is so lucky.

    OP, if you feel like you want to cut your family off, then there are reasons for that and they are JUSTIFIED. If you do this, don't walk away feeling guilty. They - and by that I mean your parents specifically - have let you down BIG time somewhere along the line, or else you wouldn't even consider it. Do people who were loved and supported as a child EVER think about seriously cutting ties with their parents?

    There's a difference between a 'spat' and an altogether dysfunctional family unit/upbringing. The more contact you have with them, the greater their influence is gonna be on your life, your happiness as an adult. For most people that's a GOOD thing. But if you think your relationships with them have become altogether more toxic than it's worth, and if deep down you know that there's no hope for them seeing your point of view, then go. You'll be alone and this will feel bad until you realise that being alone is by far the better option than being part of a family unit that is ultimately bringing you down, holding you back, and keeping you mixed up with their failures as parents. Is it good enough for you or not? Only you know.

    If you felt this way towards a friend, people would tell you to cut 'em off. If you felt this way about a boyfriend, they'd tell you to dump him. Are we obliged, simply by the fact that we share a gene pool, to keep certain people in our lives even though the impact is mostly negative? I don't think we are.

    PS - And by the way, there ARE people who are gonna love you like your parents should have, and won't make you question whether or not to cut them out of your life.

    PPS - Siblings deserve less scrutiny. They're just as mixed up in all this as you are.
    This. A thousand times, this.
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    Whilst its hard to judge not knowing the full circumstances I would say no to do something like that. You have to think about it logically what if you cut them off and then one of them becomes sick and dies, and you have to hear about it off someone else or even worse don't find out about ti for years after it happens. Would you be able to handle that?

    I would maybe say distance yourself but still keep some contact.
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    Why don't you tell them that you are so upset with their attitude that you are considering cutting them off? Tell them that you are fed up of them and that you want things to change and maybe they will. And if they don't change, then I think you should cut them off, at least for a while. Then maybe they will realise how much they care about you and will be better at supporting you.

    I think you can easily find substitutes, especially when you have a rubbish family. It's all the people with wonderful families that think you can't ever replace them. Why would you want a replacement of people that treat you badly?! Friends and/or a partner can fill the void, and if you did miss them, you could always try again with them in the future. I know people who rarely see their families because they just have such a horrible relationship that it just drags everyone down and is a toxic environment. If this is you, i say get out of there, and only go back on occasion if you feel you need to.
 
 
 
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