I had a friend in Primary school, I'd always be at his house but then I spent nearly 2 years in Secondary school and moved due to bullying and lost all contact with my friend.
My Grandmother randomly saw this guy at a car boot sale and he asked about me, my Grandmother told him to see me and he did, the next day. He was very strangely behaved and didn't want to go out, he came to my house 5 days in a row, I was thrilled to see him the first time and we swapped MSN addresses and what not but he started sending me messages on MSN that made me feel very uneasy, things such as what male Asian singers he was attracted to even though hes straight, saying he loves me and I couldn't cope with it so I told him to get help.
His Father then committed suicide about 5 months after, and I suppose the negative feelings that the guy gave me were almost forgotten about by this time, so I unblocked him on MSN and asked how he was etc, I loved his father, he was ace, and I was genuinely distraught at the thought of a man that nice taking his own life. The same thing happened as it did the last time over MSN, so I blocked him again on MSN.
He came to my house a few weeks later, he watched to see when my father was gone, and I have never been so afraid in my life. I thought he was going to do something horrible to me, so in panic I walked to my friends house across the town and he followed me there. I called the police 2 days later because I wasn't sure if it would be right to do given that just a few weeks ago his father ended his life.
The guy killed himself a few months ago, over some girl lying about being abused by him, he's in almost all of my birthday pictured from when I was younger, and other pictures too. It feels like since I came back into his life, everything went wrong, like I was a curse to him, and I feel riddled with guilt. I think about him most days and I just can't get rid of it.
Hadn't seen a male friend in years
He came to my house to see me
He started sending strange messages over msn ( I love you etc)
His father committed suicide
I unblocked him because I was really upset over his father
Strangeness started again, so I blocked him
He came into my house when I was alone
I called the police
Almost 2 years later he committed Suicide over a girl lying about being abused by him.
I changed text to red above to show how I feel about it.
Thank you for even reading any of this.
- 10-04-2013 22:06
- 10-04-2013 23:22
- 11-04-2013 15:21
You have to remember that this isn't your fault. The reason you feel guilt is because you are a good person, but you have to remember that you didn't cause this behaviour.
You did the right thing to go to your friends house and block him on MSN if you felt genuinely scared or uncomfortable with the attention he was giving you.
You could not predict the events that would happen and it seems he was put in an unfortunate place with this latter accusation (whether true or not) - that would test anybody to the extreme.
Just remember that you tried to be friends, but not all friendships are meant to be. We can't control life, but you acted in the way that you felt was right, just remember that.
- 11-04-2013 15:46
- 11-04-2013 22:30
I'm really sorry to hear that, that's a terrible story. I don't know if I'm capable of helping, but if you just want someone to talk to I'll reply on here.
You have to remember that suicide always leaves people feeling guilty, particularly friends and family, when they couldn't possibly have done anything - I'm sure you've heard of survivor's guilt? It applies strongly to suicides as well. In this case it was clear that he needed serious help, even before his father committed suicide. That wasn't help you could give him.
Are you at university? It might help to talk to your student counselling service. They can give you free confidential advice, and it won't go on your record.