I just want to break down and cry

Lately, I feel like nothing I do is right. He's been distant again and there's things that aren't adding up. I know for sure he has been texting/sexting someone else but I have trouble confronting him about things because he always has an excuse or a reason and finds a way to make me seem like the bad one for even asking. I found condoms in his pocket which is strange because I'm on the pill and we have never really used them. I really wush he'd tell me everything, that'll never happen though :/

Reply 1

irishspringbok

8

The fact you are feeling this way and yet have trouble confronting him must be tormenting you. I understand what you are going through and you should never be made to feel like an idiot for asking him to explain himself. More often than not your gut instinct is right, and if you have suspicions tell him but don't let him think he can get out of it. If he thinks he can get a way with it..he will and the only way he can think that is if you let him. Do you really want to be in a dishonest relationship?...you have done nothing wrong, don't let him make you feel like you have.

I've found the best way to confront infidelity (assuming this is the issue) is to let them try and talk themselves out of it then hit them with the proof that they are lying. :smile:

no one makes me feel stupid and inferior when I'm the victim of their lies....just sayin' :redface:

Reply 2

theguv92

6

With no offence meant, why do you post these things if the answer is obvious to you?

Dump his ass because he's cheating. You know he is and yet you're letting yourself down by not taking action. It wont be long before victim blaming will come into it, you know, if he's cheating and you didn't dump him it makes it seem as if it's ok etc...

Let him be the fool for missing out on you, don't let yourself be the fool for turning the other way because you didn't want to believe something so decided it wasn't true.

Reply 3

ScarlettFever

OP

Cos deep down I hope he'll change. We've been together so long. As much as I know what he's been doing is wrong, I don't want to lose him and cannot imagine life without him. I guess that makes me the stupid one.

Reply 4

irishspringbok

8

Original post by ScarlettFever

Cos deep down I hope he'll change. We've been together so long. As much as I know what he's been doing is wrong, I don't want to lose him and cannot imagine life without him. I guess that makes me the stupid one.

If he is unwilling to admit guilt what makes you think he will suddenly change his ways?. Instead he gets everything he wants by continuing what he is doing knowing that a few smart lines will leave you feeling like the guilty one.

hope doesn't equal success.

Reply 5

username47781

20

Original post by ScarlettFever

Lately, I feel like nothing I do is right. He's been distant again and there's things that aren't adding up. I know for sure he has been texting/sexting someone else but I have trouble confronting him about things because he always has an excuse or a reason and finds a way to make me seem like the bad one for even asking. I found condoms in his pocket which is strange because I'm on the pill and we have never really used them. I really wush he'd tell me everything, that'll never happen though :/

Why you with this guy if he makes you feel like this, come on he has condoms on him, pretty obvious. Ditch him!

Loads of boys and girl like sleeping around, for them thats normal,,,if u cant take it, search for a boy who is faithfull...

Reply 8

DorianGrayism

19

You need to get a grip and get out of the mentality that you cannot "live without him".

It is this mentality that means that you are not taking the action that you should be.

That is DUMP HIM.

Take control of your life.

Reply 9

Millie228

9

Original post by theguv92

With no offence meant, why do you post these things if the answer is obvious to you?

Dump his ass because he's cheating. You know he is and yet you're letting yourself down by not taking action. It wont be long before victim blaming will come into it, you know, if he's cheating and you didn't dump him it makes it seem as if it's ok etc...

Let him be the fool for missing out on you, don't let yourself be the fool for turning the other way because you didn't want to believe something so decided it wasn't true.

This.
Dump his ass. You'll hurt for a while, but you'll move on. Staying in a relationship which isn't working is the equivalent of breaking a leg and keep twisting it in the hope that it isn't really broken. You must realize the facts and then let it heal properly.
Not only will you be miserable forever if you stay, you'll lose your dignity and self respect. I've seen girls do this and at worst, they lose their ability to see what a relationship should be like because they're so accustomed to *******s that they don't know what to look for. Wake up and quit this, it isn't a relationship.

Reply 10

luca-cunn

Sorry but it looks like you've got yourself a bad egg, dump his ass! Will be **** for a while but imagine you put a brave face on and stuck with him. He'll ware you down and a few more years down the line after you've convinced yourself he's just different your married, he's still sleeping around and you quality of life is zero.

Remember you have friends and family to help you after the deed is done, also here is a short educational video you should watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIszesDaK9U

Don't mock, the gurls got you.

Reply 11

Miouhaneun

6

Oh honey. I'm sure it must be difficult, you probably love him and want him right? Usually the first sign something is up is your suspicions. I'm so sad to say it, but you are probably right in your suspicions in some regard. I wish I could say something to ease your mind but I fear all I can do is offer my sympathies. It's terrible to doubt someone you want to trust and care for, no matter who it is.

Reply 12

Mankytoes

10

Original post by Rock Fan

Why you with this guy if he makes you feel like this, come on he has condoms on him, pretty obvious. Ditch him!

Wo, I carry condoms, gotta be ready to help a friend out! Plus a girl on the pill might throw up, thus making it ineffective, or want to do something that a condom would help with...

Dunno if he's cheating, but don't assume!

Reply 13

scrotgrot

16

Following Mankytoes, yes, he may not be cheating. You cannot know for sure until you force an answer out of him. You may have to request to look at his phone or Facebook. But do not dump him based on an assumption.

Reply 14

username202925

11

Original post by ScarlettFever

Lately, I feel like nothing I do is right. He's been distant again and there's things that aren't adding up. I know for sure he has been texting/sexting someone else but I have trouble confronting him about things because he always has an excuse or a reason and finds a way to make me seem like the bad one for even asking. I found condoms in his pocket which is strange because I'm on the pill and we have never really used them. I really wush he'd tell me everything, that'll never happen though :/